deadspin-com-cjpmjw.txt (14684B)
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Conversely, when you are not doing 106 something you want to be doing, you should always and only be doing something 107 you should be doing. This is a good resolution because it’s not aimed at some 108 specific result that deviates a whole lot from who you are already, like 109 overhauling your diet or your sleep regimen or whatever. No overhaul required, 110 here. You already do plenty of what you’re supposed to do, and plenty of what 111 you want to do. Resolve to stop doing anything else. 112 113 Advertisement 114 115 But I already do this, you are saying, as you sit at your desk, not working, 116 procrastinating, avoiding work by dicking around on the internet and winding up 117 on a dumb-ass late-January blog about, of all things, self-improvement. No! 118 Right now, you are not following this very good advice. You are not doing what 119 you should be doing—unless what you should be doing is reading blogs—nor are 120 you doing what you really want to be doing, which is parasailing or skiing or 121 hunting moose in [70]ye olde cowboy game. You are killing time, waiting for 122 either the energy for work or the consequences of not doing work to give your 123 life some feeble structure. Stop it! Killing time is the very habit we are 124 trying to address, here. There’s barely enough time as it is. 125 126 Advertisement 127 128 Along the way you will need to hone your sense of what things you should be 129 doing. You know the most obvious ones—they’re occupying the margins of your 130 consciousness all the time, bearing down on you and poisoning the time you 131 spend not doing them. Chores, assignments, projects, bills, phone calls, 132 repairs, and so forth. The list is a little bit longer than that, which is both 133 good news and bad news. It’s bad news because it includes things like talking 134 to your folks on the telephone, or listening patiently while your spouse rants 135 about their day, or brushing your teeth—things you put off doing nearly as much 136 as work but which, I’m afraid, must be done. But it’s also good news, because 137 by acknowledging that those are responsibilities, you have also earned the 138 right to take some satisfaction from having fulfilled them. 139 140 Advertisement 141 142 Sometimes you have the bandwidth and energy to address your attention to the 143 things you should be doing, and other times the thought of getting your car 144 inspected or working out or washing a sinkful of dishes fills you with a sudden 145 urge to throw yourself down a well. When you have the energy to do the things 146 you should do, do them, or keep doing them. When you don’t—and this is 147 crucial—go ahead and give yourself permission to set them aside for another 148 time. But—and this is also crucial, because it is the lesson of this damn 149 blog—when you give yourself permission not to do the things you should be 150 doing, please spend the resulting block of free time doing something good and 151 cool, something you genuinely want to do. 152 153 You will also need to hone your sense of what it is you want to be doing. 154 Today, the thing I most want to be doing in all the universe is riding Splash 155 Mountain. That activity, I am afraid to say, is completely out of the question, 156 in no small part because I am supposed to be doing the thing I least want to do 157 in all the universe, which is working. Since I would certainly rather die than 158 actually work, I’m going to do something else. But what? It helps to start all 159 the way out at riding Splash Mountain, because understanding want in terms of 160 genuine desire keeps you from slipping into the shitty headspace of just 161 measuring activities against the dread and misery of work. In almost all cases 162 I would rather be watching Law & Order reruns than doing chores, but that 163 doesn’t mean I really want to be watching Law & Order reruns. In the endless 164 list of things I could conceivably do with a day, watching Law & Order reruns 165 is probably closer to doing chores than it is to riding Splash Mountain. In 166 fact, I often default to watching Law & Order reruns because some part of my 167 brain recognizes that it keeps me anchored in place near the chores, and isn’t 168 so joyful that I can be said to be really enjoying myself, which is clearly 169 something I don’t deserve. 170 171 Advertisement 172 173 So it is with scanning headlines or surfing Instagram or refreshing Twitter, 174 the grey shit you do compulsively when you are procrastinating. Yes, you would 175 rather be doing those things than painting your living room—anything, including 176 bleeding from the eyeballs, is better than painting—but that doesn’t 177 necessarily mean they’re worth a shit. If you’re not going to paint the living 178 room, that’s fine! But now use the time on something good! In my case, if I 179 start all the way out at riding Splash Mountain and work backward from there, 180 long before I get to watching Law & Order reruns, I will arrive at things like 181 bowling or going to the movies or hunting moose in ye olde cowboy game. Those 182 are things I find myself wanting to do, but rarely give myself permission to 183 do. Ask yourself, “What are some activities that would be genuinely fun?” Make 184 a list! Cross off the stuff you know you can’t do, and then pick and do one of 185 the ones you can. Go to the zoo. Watch a horror flick. Try out a new bar. Read 186 a few chapters of a good book. 187 188 It can feel reckless and irresponsible to spend your day bowling or baking or 189 hunting moose in ye olde cowboy game, but a big chunk of the guilt associated 190 with these activities stems from not really giving yourself permission to do 191 them, at least in part because too much of your average day is already given 192 over to tweeting at Jonathan Chait. But it’s healthy and productive to do cool 193 and fun things that enrich your life! The solution, here, is to buy yourself 194 the time to do the really interesting things by first being honest with 195 yourself about all the sweaty hours you waste tweeting at Jonathan Chait. You 196 are a successful and prolific time-killer because you’ve got a selection of 197 ways of doing it that are marginally less dreary and more stimulating than 198 folding laundry or managing spreadsheets, and some inherited puritanical 199 impulse that tells you you’re still close to upright so long as you’re not 200 actually enjoying yourself. Bullshit! When you are not doing what you are 201 supposed to do, do something you genuinely want to do. That’s the rule. 202 203 Advertisement 204 205 Of course, there will be any number of times when you are prevented from doing 206 any of the things you want to be doing. The rule is also this: When you cannot 207 do what you genuinely want to do, do what you are supposed to do. Here is a 208 good life hack: when you lack the bandwidth to take on an important chore or 209 duty, you probably still have the bandwidth to make a list of all your 210 important chores and duties. Do that! This counts as a thing you should be 211 doing, because often enough in making the list you will hit on something that 212 requires little enough of you that you can take it on right away, without too 213 much suffering. And even if you don’t, the making of the list will bring you a 214 little closer to addressing yourself to the items on it, and that’s enough of a 215 positive step that when the time comes for you to do something you want to do, 216 you will feel the satisfaction of having earned it, through work. That’s what’s 217 missing from the shame-soaked hours spent avoiding and procrastinating: the 218 feeling that you deserve to have a good time, and the permission to have one. 219 220 Of course, you will probably fall short of dividing your time exactly equally 221 between responsibilities and pursuits. Don’t think of that as failure. When you 222 remember this wise practice, when it occurs to you, treat it as a rule and 223 follow it. Ah, right, I said I wasn’t gonna sit here stewing in my anxiety all 224 afternoon, so instead I’m going to go see [71]Into the Spider-Verse. Good plan! 225 You are going to end the day with something to show for it, and that’s the 226 whole idea. 227 228 Continue reading 229 230 References: 231 232 [1] https://avclub.com/ 233 [2] https://deadspin.com/ 234 [3] https://gizmodo.com/ 235 [4] https://jalopnik.com/ 236 [5] https://kotaku.com/ 237 [6] https://qz.com/ 238 [7] https://theroot.com/ 239 [8] https://thetakeout.com/ 240 [9] https://theonion.com/ 241 [10] https://theinventory.com/ 242 [11] https://deadspin.com/ 243 [12] https://deadspin.com/ 244 [13] https://deadspin.com/ 245 [14] https://deadspin.com/latest 246 [15] https://deadspin.com/baseball 247 [16] https://deadspin.com/football 248 [17] https://deadspin.com/basketball 249 [18] https://deadspin.com/hockey 250 [19] https://deadspin.com/golf 251 [20] https://deadspin.com/soccer 252 [21] https://deadspin.com/locker/the-mourning-after 253 [22] https://deadspin.com/wrestling 254 [23] https://deadspin.com/lists 255 [24] https://deadspin.com/tennis 256 [25] https://deadspin.com/the-fights 257 [26] https://deadspin.com/olympics 258 [27] https://deadspin.com/racing 259 [28] https://deadspin.com/poker 260 [29] https://deadspin.com/media 261 [30] https://deadspin.com/locker 262 [31] https://es.deadspin.com/ 263 [32] https://deadspin.com/search 264 [33] https://deadspin.com/newsletter 265 [34] https://deadspin.com/ 266 [35] https://deadspin.com/latest 267 [36] https://deadspin.com/baseball 268 [37] https://deadspin.com/football 269 [38] https://deadspin.com/basketball 270 [39] https://deadspin.com/hockey 271 [40] https://deadspin.com/golf 272 [41] https://deadspin.com/soccer 273 [42] https://deadspin.com/locker/the-mourning-after 274 [43] https://deadspin.com/wrestling 275 [44] https://deadspin.com/lists 276 [45] https://deadspin.com/tennis 277 [46] https://deadspin.com/the-fights 278 [47] https://deadspin.com/olympics 279 [48] https://deadspin.com/racing 280 [49] https://deadspin.com/poker 281 [50] https://deadspin.com/media 282 [51] https://deadspin.com/locker 283 [52] https://es.deadspin.com/ 284 [53] https://deadspin.com/locker 285 [54] https://deadspin.com/author/miserableshitehawk 286 [55] https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?via=deadspin&url=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fspend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Ddeadspin_twitter&text=Spend%20Exactly%20None%20Of%20Your%20Time%20Killing%20Time 287 [56] https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fspend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Ddeadspin_facebook 288 [57] https://www.reddit.com/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fspend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Ddeadspin_reddit&title=Spend%20Exactly%20None%20Of%20Your%20Time%20Killing%20Time 289 [58] mailto:?subject=Spend%20Exactly%20None%20Of%20Your%20Time%20Killing%20Time&body=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fspend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Ddeadspin_email 290 [59] https://deadspin.com/spend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904 291 [61] https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fwhat-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dfacebook 292 [62] https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fwhat-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&text=What%20Jason%20Kelce%E2%80%99s%20retirement%20says%20about%20the%20Eagles%20future 293 [63] mailto:?subject=What%20Jason%20Kelce%E2%80%99s%20retirement%20says%20about%20the%20Eagles%20future&body=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fwhat-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Demail 294 [64] https://www.reddit.com/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadspin.com%2Fwhat-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dreddit&title=What%20Jason%20Kelce%E2%80%99s%20retirement%20says%20about%20the%20Eagles%20future 295 [65] https://deadspin.com/what-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895 296 [66] https://deadspin.com/what-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895 297 [67] https://deadspin.com/what-jason-kelce-s-retirement-says-about-the-eagles-fut-1851169895 298 [68] https://deadspin.com/which-nfl-team-lands-jim-harbaugh-as-their-next-head-co-1851156349 299 [69] https://deadspin.com/josh-allen-trevor-lawrence-or-the-eagles-who-are-the-1851149579 300 [70] https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/i-like-chopping-firewood-in-red-dead-redemption-2-1830178593#_ga=2.215259543.149258240.1547482638-1486199056.1525795056 301 [71] https://film.avclub.com/superhero-dimensions-collide-in-a-funny-gorgeously-psy-1830700647