lmno-lol-f6bq3n.txt (6075B)
1 [1]@puddingtime 2 [2]sign in · [3]lmno.lol 3 4 _____ _____ _ _____ ______ _ _ ______ ______ _____ _ _ _____ _____ _____ ___ ___ _____ _ 5 |_ _||_ _|( )/ ___| | ___ \| | | || _ \| _ \|_ _|| \ | || __ \|_ _||_ _|| \/ || ___|| | 6 | | | | |/ \ `--. | |_/ /| | | || | | || | | | | | | \| || | \/ | | | | | . . || |__ | | 7 | | | | `--. \ | __/ | | | || | | || | | | | | | . ` || | __ | | | | | |\/| || __| | | 8 _| |_ | | /\__/ / | | | |_| || |/ / | |/ / _| |_ | |\ || |_\ \ | | _| |_ | | | || |___ |_| 9 \___/ \_/ \____/ \_| \___/ |___/ |___/ \___/ \_| \_/ \____/ \_/ \___/ \_| |_/\____/ (_) 🔥🤘🏻🔥 10 11 September 11, 2025 12 13 [4]Aspiration 14 15 [5]Gasworks park metal structures 16 17 Wow. First post in almost a month. I suppose it has been busy: Two long 18 weekends away from home in SLC and Seattle, and a generally busy work month. 19 20 Last weekend we went to see Thee Oh Sees in Seattle. That was 90 minutes of 21 intensity. Al said it was her favorite show of the year. I'd place it a close 22 second or a tie with Mutoid Man. We have tickets for one more show this year: 23 YOB at Revolution Hall. 24 25 I mentioned on Mastodon that I had just gone through and unsubscribed from a 26 bunch of apps and services. DayOne was one of them. I thought about it a little 27 at the time, but only to reassure myself that I had a few formats worth of 28 backups, because I've been using that app for over 20 years and while I haven't 29 been a diligent user, it has a lot of stuff in it. 30 31 Yesterday, as I got ready for a meeting, I fired up my SuperNote tablet and had 32 this brief idea of "oh, this'd be great for an interstitial log," then started 33 a log page with a few entries from the day so far, when I stopped and thought 34 "why am I doing this?" 35 36 The answer was, "because I read about interstitial logging a while back, have 37 tried it in a few contexts, and it has never really 'taken', so it remains this 38 thing that sounds cool but hasn't had a habit built around it." 39 40 So I stopped writing. 41 42 And this morning I noticed my DayOne backup sitting in the transit folder I put 43 it in, waiting to be put somewhere permanent, and I thought "oh man, how am I 44 going to journal?" 45 46 But the answer is, "I don't really journal that much." I write posts now and 47 then when moved, but journaling isn't something I do a lot of, and I haven't 48 made a habit of it. 49 50 I don't think I want to make a habit of it. The same way I don't think I want 51 to make a habit of interstitial logging. 52 53 (On review: I have a particular relationship with the word want. When asked "do 54 you want to ..." I try to reserve "yes" for things I have already considered 55 and have decided to form an intention around. And on the back end, if I find 56 myself saying, "I want to ..." but then never do it, I have sort of an 57 existential relationship to the word: You aren't what you say you are. You 58 haven't done what you said you want to do. You are what you do. And barring 59 blockers, obstacles, and other matters of physics and circumstance, if you 60 thought you wanted to do something, then never did it, but completely could 61 have, can you really be said to have wanted to do it? At the very best, "not 62 much." I don't think this is a popular point of view because people are 63 increasingly suspicious of the idea that anyone actually has any agency.) 64 65 So rather than wanting to do all sorts of things, I'm just sort of a sucker for 66 the occasional "someone on the Internet says they do this thing and I think 67 that sounds cool so I take a poke at it, don't really feel the value of it so 68 much as I briefly liked the idea of it, and then there's this zombie file or 69 application or folder full of something I'd hesitate to even call an 70 aspiration." 71 72 Someone I once knew said something withering about me regarding that whole 73 loop, and I let their framing dominate my thinking for a long time. Maybe in 74 the past four or five years, especially after I read Digital Minimalism, I 75 began to think about it less like evidence of a character defect and more as 76 evidence that I have moments of curiosity and interest, and am probably more 77 willing than many (broadly considered) to just try stuff out. It's just me. I 78 don't owe some outer authority any reporting on the matter. And that particular 79 drive has put a roof over my head, put food on my table, and is paying for my 80 kid to go to college. It has led me to some weird places, including Ft. Bragg 81 drop zones, but it has also opened doors. If I've got an issue with the whole 82 thing, it's more a question of how I want to spend my time, and if I'd rather 83 be doing other things. 84 85 So, the big unsusbscription/app deletion kick was good, because it did get a 86 lot of brush cleared away: I not only turned off all those things, but made it 87 hard to see them and either a. poke at them some more for no reason besides 88 idle curiosity or habit, or b. decide to resubscribe. Which means when I think 89 "Oh man, how am I going to ... " [some thing that never really took and that I 90 didn't seem to want to make into a habit] there's a better chance I'll have an 91 arresting thought, because there's nothing to go click and fuck around with. 92 93 That's a good state to be in, because with nothing to idly do, I tend to go 94 just a few places: 95 96 • I pick up a book 97 • I do something photography-related 98 • I pick a game I can zone out with, which really means that I occupy my 99 superficial awareness with a smidge of sensory exclusivity while I have a 100 long thought about whatever I need to think about right now 101 102 Those are all the things I want to do. Not the things I just briefly thought 103 sounded cool. 104 105 106 107 powered by [6]LMNO.lol 108 109 [7]privacy policy · [8]terms of service 110 111 112 References: 113 114 [1] https://lmno.lol/puddingtime 115 [2] https://lmno.lol/signin?goto=/puddingtime/aspiration 116 [3] https://lmno.lol/ 117 [4] https://lmno.lol/puddingtime/aspiration 118 [5] https://pix.puddingtime.org/-1/i-TP3qH9Q/A 119 [6] https://lmno.lol/ 120 [7] https://lmno.lol/blog/privacy-policy 121 [8] https://lmno.lol/blog/terms-of-service