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When 30 we have confirmed access, the full article content will load. 31 [24] 32 Opinion 33 34 Supported by 35 36 [25]SKIP ADVERTISEMENT 37 38 One Thing Parents Can Control 39 40 April 16, 2024 41 An illustration that shows a silhouette of a parent holding a child’s hand. 42 there are two-dimentional butterflies flying around them. 43 Credit...Gabriel Zimmer Studio 44 45 • Share full article 46 • 47 • 48 • [29]277 49 50 [30]Esau McCaulley 51 52 By [31]Esau McCaulley 53 54 Contributing Opinion Writer 55 56 My father was a long-haul truck driver. He piloted one of those 57 eighteen-wheelers that had a horn that could raise the dead. As a kid I longed 58 to join him on his journeys and discover something of the world beyond 59 Huntsville, Ala., where we lived. 60 61 Despite his numerous promises, he never took me along. That failure, and the 62 addictions of his that defined much of my childhood, gave me an education of a 63 different sort. I learned that the world could be cruel and disappointing. 64 65 Now that I am a father, I struggle with how much of that hard world to reveal 66 to my sons and daughters. I recognize the privilege in even considering this. 67 Parents of children in Gaza and Ukraine do not have the luxury of deciding 68 whether to tell their young ones of evils done and all the good left undone. 69 Bombs descending from above indifferent to the innocence of youth have become 70 their instructors. 71 72 I believe that we all have a moral duty not to turn away from such suffering. 73 During dinner my family and I have talked and prayed about war, poverty, racism 74 and injustice. My hope is that if we instill a sense of empathy in our 75 children, they might create a better world than the one we have made. 76 77 It is not just the global upheaval that gives me pause. It is my own mistakes. 78 Not one of us escapes those high-pressure early years of parenthood unscathed. 79 There are always words that we wish that we could unsay, decisions made that we 80 would reconsider if time ran backward. What unfulfilled promise will haunt my 81 children? What will they have to forgive? 82 83 Childhood memories rush upon us awakened by a smell or a song or certain times 84 of year. The scent of fried chicken takes me back to my grandmother’s house. I 85 can almost hear the crunch it made when I took a bite. Every time I pass an 86 eighteen-wheeler on the Interstate, I remember my father. Fall reminds me of 87 the anxiety I felt when I knew that I had to go back to school without any new 88 outfits or shoes, hoping I wouldn’t be mocked. 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