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   Brett & Kate McKay • September 5, 2023

  Exit, Voice, Loyalty, Neglect: Why People Leave, Stay, or Try to Burn It All
                                      Down

   When someone is dissatisfied with a product, group, or relationship,
   how do they remedy that dissatisfaction?

   A German economist and political scientist, Albert Hirschman, laid out
   a theory of how people respond to dissatisfaction in his influential
   treatise [108]Exit, Voice, Loyalty: Responses to Decline in Firms,
   Organizations, and States.

   Hirschman observed that people who find themselves in diminishing,
   less-than-ideal circumstances have three options: 1) leave the
   declining group, company, or relationship (exit), 2) express discontent
   to improve the situation (voice), or 3) stay in the organization and
   passively hope things get better (loyalty).

   Since the initial publication of Exit, Voice, Loyalty in 1970, other
   social scientists have added a fourth option to Hirschman’s framework:
   neglect.

   Which option a person exercises will depend on many factors, and the
   path they choose can help reverse, stem, or exacerbate a group’s
   deterioration.

   The exit, voice, loyalty, neglect (EVLN) framework will help you
   understand why people stay in or leave a relationship (including
   friendships), why people stay in or leave a job, why people stay in or
   leave a church, and many more of life’s interpersonal and institutional
   dynamics.

   Let’s unpack it.

Exit, Voice, Loyalty, Neglect

   I read Hirschman’s book a few months ago and went on a deep dive into
   related research that’s been done since it was published. The EVLN
   framework has become a fundamental mental model in my brain. It’s a
   decidedly simple paradigm and is something people already intuitively
   know, but once you see it spelled out explicitly, you start to see it
   everywhere.

Exit

   The exit option is exercised when an individual is dissatisfied with
   something and decides to quit it altogether.

   You use the exit option all the time as a consumer. If you’re
   dissatisfied with shaving cream brand A, you stop using it and start
   using shaving cream brand B.

   You can also use the exit option when dissatisfied with a job,
   relationship, or group.

   Not happy with your job? You can quit it.

   Not happy with your relationship? You can break up.

   Not happy with the state of your congregation? You can stop going to
   that church and start going to another.

   What’s interesting about the exit option is that it often accelerates
   decline in groups. According to Hirschman, the people most sensitive to
   a decrease in quality are typically those with the most resources,
   skills, and talents that could be used to effectuate improvement. The
   people who are the least sensitive to quality usually have fewer
   resources, skills, and talents. When the people who have resources
   leave, it results in a “brain drain.” With fewer well-resourced
   members, the quality of the group further declines; it thus has even
   more trouble attracting new members (especially well-resourced ones);
   as a result, even more people leave. Things go from bad to worse, and
   the group or organization enters a death spiral that can be difficult
   or impossible to recover from.

   To illustrate this phenomenon, Hirschman uses the example of parents
   pulling their kids out of public schools and putting them into private
   schools. According to Hirschman, affluent parents are much more
   sensitive to education quality than less affluent parents. It’s not
   that less affluent parents don’t care about their children’s education;
   they just don’t have the luxury of being hyper-sensitive to deficits in
   quality. Because they know that private school isn’t an option for
   them, they don’t spend as much time wondering if the grass is greener
   at another school as affluent parents do.

   Because school is a matter of optionality for wealthy parents, they
   notice perceived flaws in their children’s education more acutely. If
   these parents become dissatisfied with the education being offered in a
   public school, they’ll switch their child over to a private school.
   When these affluent families leave a public school, they take their
   resources, and their possibly greater propensity to push for
   improvement, with them. As a result, the struggles of the public school
   deepen.

Voice

   Sometimes people find themselves in a situation where they’re
   dissatisfied with a group or relationship, but they don’t want to leave
   it. They still see good in it. It’s still working for them on some
   level, or they see potential for how it could work if things were done
   differently. They may feel they can do more good being an agent on the
   inside than being a critic on the outside.

   In these cases, people may decide to stay around and exercise the voice
   option — complaining, offering feedback, and agitating for change to
   improve things.

   An unhappy employee can talk to his boss about changing the company’s
   culture.

   An unhappy husband can tell his wife about his concerns for the
   relationship, or together they can talk to a therapist.

   An unhappy customer can contact customer support to raise concerns and
   seek redress.

   Unhappy parents can talk to their child’s teacher about an issue with
   their kid or join the PTA to advocate for broader changes.

Loyalty

   While Hirschman clearly defined exit and voice, he was ambiguous about
   loyalty. It’s one of the biggest criticisms he received for his work.
   Many social scientists since Hirschman have described loyalty as a
   “passively positive” response in the face of dissatisfaction. Instead
   of taking action (exit or voice), the loyal customer, employee, spouse,
   or church member will stay aboard and not raise a stink, hoping things
   will get better on their own if they wait long enough.

   Take an employee dissatisfied with his job. Maybe he’s decided he can’t
   quit, and perhaps he’s also decided that voicing his concerns to his
   boss will only increase the animosity between them. So he chooses to
   stay with the company, thinking, “Well, maybe things will improve.
   Maybe we’ll get a new supervisor. Maybe I’ll get moved to a new
   division. I’ll just keep working and wait and see.”

Neglect

   Social scientist [109]Carly Rusbult added a fourth option to
   Hirschman’s exit/voice/loyalty options for dealing with
   dissatisfaction: neglect.

   Neglect is similar to loyalty in that the dissatisfied person decides
   to stay on board with the declining job, relationship, or group, but
   instead of thinking things might improve if they’re patient, the person
   who adopts the neglect option has decided things won’t get better and
   chooses to take a “negative passive” approach to the situation by
   putting in less effort or not taking action to prevent the relationship
   or group from further falling apart.

   Rather than helping an ineffectual organization continue to limp feebly
   along, this individual stays but withdraws their support, with the idea
   that by letting the group collapse, its leadership will finally be
   forced to take action to change and improve it. The neglect approach
   is: “I’m not going to actively put out fires. I’m just going to let
   this thing burn to the ground so we can start fresh.”

   Consider the overworked church member in a struggling congregation.
   He’s juggling multiple roles and dealing with a cadre of difficult
   people. Leaving isn’t an option because his wife grew up in that church
   and would never consider it. He knows raising his concerns to
   leadership would be ineffective because he tried that in the past. So
   exit and voice are off the table.

   He also doesn’t think things will get better if he sticks around and
   just keeps plugging away. Goodbye loyalty.

   Hello, neglect.

   This burned-out church member may start doing the bare minimum in his
   responsibilities, if that. He’ll say no to requests for his time,
   money, and talent. If he sees an issue or problem, he won’t do anything
   to correct it. He thinks that those who remain loyal are only
   perpetuating a state of dysfunction. By withholding his help, he hopes
   to push the congregation to a critical level of failure, which will
   require the leadership to fix the underlying issues.

Predictors of Response to Dissatisfaction

   So, in the face of dissatisfaction, people can respond with exit,
   voice, loyalty, or neglect.

   A person in declining circumstances conducts an explicit or implicit
   cost/benefit analysis in figuring out which path to take.

   In [110]Predicting Exit, Voice, Loyalty, and Neglect, researchers
   Michael Withey and William Cooper fleshed out the factors that go into
   this analysis when people consider how to respond to dissatisfaction:

Cost of the Action

   Exit, voice, loyalty, and neglect all come with costs, both direct and
   indirect.

   Exiting a job can result in the loss of income and health benefits;
   divorcing a spouse can result in emotional and financial distress;
   leaving a church can result in spiritual and social isolation.

   Raising your voice at work could create rancor with your boss; speaking
   up in a marriage could create resentment with your spouse.

   Whether you’re exiting or using your voice, there can also be a loss in
   the thing humans hold most dear: status. In leaving or dissenting, you
   risk jeopardizing your identity.

   Staying loyal to a relationship or organization comes with costs, too.
   If you keep your job in a toxic office, you’ll have to continue to
   weather the stress and debasement that comes with going to work each
   day. Same thing with staying in a struggling, conflict-ridden marriage
   or church.

   If you decide to be neglectful in your job, it could result in
   discipline or blocked opportunities. Neglect in a marriage will only
   lead to increased resentment and tension.

   The exit option tends to have the most dramatic consequences, and is
   thus much more reluctantly exercised and typically used as a last
   resort.

   But there’s no option in the EVLN framework that doesn’t carry
   downsides; each has its own pros and cons, and part of how people weigh
   their choices comes down to which path they think has more of the
   former and less of the latter.

Efficacy of the Response

   In deciding between exit, voice, loyalty, and neglect, people will also
   consider which response will be the most effective at resolving their
   dissatisfaction.

   A big factor in whether someone thinks a particular response will be
   effective is whether they believe there’s hope for improvement. If
   someone has this hope, they’re more likely to choose voice or loyalty;
   if they don’t, they’re more likely to choose exit or neglect. If an
   unhappy employee thinks things would be a lot better at work if their
   supervisor moved on, and there’s a rumor they’ll soon be replaced, the
   employee is more likely to stick around. If a church member thinks
   their concerns will be listened to and addressed, they’re more likely
   to stay and raise their voice; if they think their concerns will be
   dismissed, they’re more likely to leave.

   A significant element in whether someone has hope for a better future
   is their prior satisfaction with the group or relationship. If
   someone’s marriage is struggling now, but was great for the first
   decade, they’re more apt to keep working on it and believe there’s a
   chance of returning to those happier times. If someone’s marriage was
   rocky from the start, they’re more likely to choose divorce.

Internal vs. External Locus of Control

   If an individual has an internal locus of control, they’re more likely
   to choose a response that’s proactive. That is, if they believe they
   have control over their actions and outcomes, they’re more likely to
   use voice or exit.

   Someone who has an external locus of control — a belief that their life
   is controlled by external circumstances — is more likely to passively
   endure a bad situation (loyalty or neglect).

Attractiveness of Alternatives

   If someone feels like there are better options outside their current
   job/relationship/church, they’re more likely to leave.

   If someone’s in a job they dislike and has been fielding hiring
   interest from another employer, they’re more likely to quit.

   If, on the other hand, someone feels they won’t be able to do much
   better in an alternate situation, they’re more likely to exercise the
   options of voice, loyalty, and neglect.

   An individual who’s sixty and in a so-so marriage may not feel bullish
   about their prospects of finding another partner and decide they’d
   rather be with someone, anyone, than alone.

Commitment

   The decision to go, stay, or otherwise is also rooted in one’s inner
   values.

   Someone in an unhappy marriage who’s deeply committed to the sanctity
   of the marriage vow is more likely to choose therapy over divorce.

   Someone who is disturbed by recent trends in their church but deeply
   believes in the tenets of their faith is more likely to stay than
   exit.

   Someone who prizes loyalty will stay longer in a job they dislike than
   someone who doesn’t.

Will Someone Choose Exit, Voice, Loyalty, or Neglect?

   In a series of studies, Withey and Cooper used the above factors to
   create a rubric that helps predict which response a dissatisfied
   employee will use. It likely carries over to people dissatisfied with
   other situations as well:

   Exit More Likely When:
     * costs of exit are low
     * costs of voice are high
     * prior satisfaction is low
     * belief in improvement is low
     * commitment is low
     * attractive alternatives are available
     * individual has an internal locus of control

   Voice More Likely When:
     * costs of exit are high
     * costs of voice are low
     * prior satisfaction is high
     * belief in improvement is high
     * commitment is high
     * attractive alternatives are not available
     * individual has an internal locus of control

   Loyalty More Likely When:
     * costs of exit are high
     * costs of voice are high
     * prior satisfaction is high
     * belief in the likelihood of improvement is high
     * commitment is high
     * attractive alternatives are not available
     * individual has an external locus of control

   Neglect More Likely When:
     * costs of exit are high
     * costs of voice are high
     * prior satisfaction is low
     * belief in the likelihood of improvement is low
     * commitment is low
     * attractive alternatives are not available
     * individual has an external locus of control

   Something that Withey and Cooper didn’t explore, but Hirschman did, is
   the phenomenon of people who exercise the option of exit and voice.

   Hirschman argued that you see people use both exit and voice in
   situations where even if they leave a group due to dissatisfaction,
   they’re still affected by the group’s actions.

   You see this phenomenon with people who become disaffected with a
   church or religion. They may leave a faith, but they still have friends
   and family members who belong to it. Because the disaffected individual
   still interacts with these people, whose faith informs these
   interactions, the disaffected person is still impacted by the faith,
   even if they no longer practice it. At the same time, an individual who
   leaves a religion may feel that the religion damaged them somehow, and,
   though they have removed themselves from its direct influence, they
   don’t want to see other people get hurt in the same way.

   Consequently, people who leave a religion sometimes become its most
   vocal critics.

Conclusion

   As I mentioned at the start, once I learned about the exit, voice,
   loyalty, and neglect paradigm, I started to see it everywhere. If
   you’re a business owner, it can help explain why customers react to a
   dissatisfying experience the way they do. If you’re in a bad
   relationship, it can help you think about what action you want to take.
   If you’re a leader in a church, it can help you figure out why some
   people leave your congregation while others stick around.

   It can also help you understand why struggling groups often continue to
   struggle: If a group loses enough good people, it’s apt to enter a
   death spiral.

   As you go about dealing with people in all kinds of situations, the
   ELVN framework is one mental model you’ll want to keep in your back
   pocket.

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       (According to a Stoic)

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 210. https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/sunday-firesides-why-bad-things-happen-to-good-people-according-to-a-stoic/
