Finish July dispatch
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David Eisinger
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[1]Austin Kleon
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• [2]Blog
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• [3]Books
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• [4]Newsletter
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• [5]Speaking
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• [6]About
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• [7]Contact
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• [8][9]
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You are here: [10]Blog / [11]Miscellany / Give yourself what you needed then
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and give your kids what they need now
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Give yourself what you needed then and give your kids what they need now
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Thursday, April 1, 2021
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[12][immutable]
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One of my very favorite lines about being a parent comes from Andrew Solomon’s
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[13]Far From The Tree: “Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we
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give our children what we wanted, whether they want it or not.”
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So I was primed for the punch of [14]this thread from Tiersa McQueen ([15]
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@tiersaj):
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[16][tiersa]
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Carl Jung said that nothing had a bigger influence on the child than the
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unlived life of the parent. Those unlived lives linger. (I am struck often by
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how many artists are raised by people who didn’t fulfill their own artistic
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ambitions. Most recently, Twyla Tharp, in [17]Twlya Moves, talking about her
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mother, who was a pianist, and groomed her daughter for a life in the arts,
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driving her all over Indiana for lessons, etc.)
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[18][IMG_0051-768x576-1-600x450]
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One must be careful to not transfer unwanted dreams onto their children, maybe
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even more so when your children are inclined to doing the things you, too,
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love. (One of my sons loves music and video games, the other loves stories and
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drawing. You can imagine the dreams I have for them, dreams that I find it best
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to keep to myself.)
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It’s a dance. You have to give yourself what you needed, but give your kids
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what they need now. Build the world you always wanted, but make sure there’s
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room in it for the world they want, too.
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(And know it will change and be constantly in flux, day by day.)
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Filed Under: [19]Miscellany Tagged: [20]Andrew solomon, [21]carl jung, [22]ed
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emberley, [23]parenting, [24]Tiersa mcqueen, [25]unschooling
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[26][ ][27][Search]
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About the author
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[28]Austin Kleon
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[29]Austin Kleon is a writer who draws. He’s the bestselling author of [30]
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Steal Like An Artist and other books. [31]Read more→
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• [32]
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• [33]
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• [34]
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• [35]
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• [36]
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Subscribe to my newsletter
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Join the 200,000+ readers who get it delivered free to their inboxes every
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week:
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[37]On This Date
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• 2023: [38]Printmaking with the sun
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• 2019: [39]Know your exits
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• 2018: [40]Inscrutable blueprints
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Get the 10th anniversary gift edition
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[41]Steal Like an Artist 10th Anniversary gift edition
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Listen to the audiobook trilogy
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[42]The Steal Like An Artist Audio Trilogy
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Read my books
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[43]Keep Going [44]Show Your Work [45]Steal Like An Artist [46]The Steal Like
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An Artist Journal [47]Newspaper Blackout
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Order t-shirts on demand
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[48]t-shirts
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Recent posts
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• [49]Head, heart, and hands
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• [50]The way you wanted to feel
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• [51]Working titles
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• [52]Summer 20% off sale
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• [53]My new stamp carousel
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More about me
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• [54]Books I’ve written
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• [55]My newsletter
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• [56]Books I’ve read
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• [57]Twitter
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• [58]Instagram
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• [59]Tumblr
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Search this site
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[60][ ][61][Search]
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Follow me elsewhere
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• [62]
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• [63]
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• [64]
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• [65]
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• [66]
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© Austin Kleon 2001–2024
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• [67]Blog
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• [68]Books
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• [69]Newsletter
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• [70]Speaking
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• [71]About
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• [72]Contact
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This site participates in the Amazon Affiliates program, the proceeds of which
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keep it free for anyone to read.
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References:
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[1] https://austinkleon.com/
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[2] https://austinkleon.com/
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[3] https://austinkleon.com/books/
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[4] https://austinkleon.substack.com/
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[5] https://austinkleon.com/speaking/
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[6] https://austinkleon.com/about/
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[7] https://austinkleon.com/contact/
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[8] https://twitter.com/austinkleon
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[9] https://instagram.com/austinkleon
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[10] https://austinkleon.com/
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[11] https://austinkleon.com/category/miscellany/
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[12] https://twitter.com/austinkleon/status/680432251616690177
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[13] https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743236726/wwwaustinkleo-20/ref=nosim/
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[14] https://twitter.com/tiersaj/status/1377310266107514884
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[15] https://twitter.com/tiersaj/
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[16] https://twitter.com/tiersaj/status/1377310266107514884
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[17] https://www.pbs.org/video/twyla-moves-xovfoh/
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[18] https://austinkleon.com/2017/10/04/for-the-boy-i-was/
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[19] https://austinkleon.com/category/miscellany/
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[20] https://austinkleon.com/tag/andrew-solomon/
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[21] https://austinkleon.com/tag/carl-jung/
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[22] https://austinkleon.com/tag/ed-emberley/
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[23] https://austinkleon.com/tag/parenting/
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[24] https://austinkleon.com/tag/tiersa-mcqueen/
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[25] https://austinkleon.com/tag/unschooling/
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[28] https://austinkleon.com/about/
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[29] https://austinkleon.com/about/
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[30] https://austinkleon.com/steal/
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[31] https://austinkleon.com/about/
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[32] http://facebook.com/mr.austin.kleon
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[33] http://instagram.com/austinkleon
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[34] http://tumblr.austinkleon.com/
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[35] http://twitter.com/austinkleon
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[36] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8uQnyh7DAfp4uX9RN7XxEw
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[37] https://austinkleon.com/on-this-date/
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[38] https://austinkleon.com/2023/07/11/printmaking-with-the-sun/
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[39] https://austinkleon.com/2019/07/11/know-your-exits/
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[40] https://austinkleon.com/2018/07/11/inscrutable-blueprints/
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[41] https://austinkleon.com/steal/
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[42] https://austinkleon.com/steal-audiobook-trilogy
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[43] https://austinkleon.com/keepgoing
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[44] https://austinkleon.com/show-your-work
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[45] https://austinkleon.com/steal/
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[46] https://austinkleon.com/journal
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[47] https://austinkleon.com/newspaperblackout/
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[48] https://cottonbureau.com/people/austin-kleon
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[49] https://austinkleon.com/2024/07/03/head-heart-and-hands/
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[50] https://austinkleon.com/2024/07/03/the-way-you-wanted-to-feel/
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[51] https://austinkleon.com/2024/06/25/working-titles/
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[52] https://austinkleon.com/2024/06/23/summer-20-off-sale/
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[53] https://austinkleon.com/2024/06/23/my-new-stamp-carousel/
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[54] https://austinkleon.com/books/
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[55] http://austinkleon.com/newsletter
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[56] https://austinkleon.com/category/reading/my-reading-years/
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[57] http://twitter.com/austinkleon
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[58] http://instagram.com/austinkleon
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[59] http://tumblr.austinkleon.com/
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[62] http://facebook.com/mr.austin.kleon
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[63] http://instagram.com/austinkleon
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[64] http://tumblr.austinkleon.com/
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[65] http://twitter.com/austinkleon
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[66] https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8uQnyh7DAfp4uX9RN7XxEw
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[67] https://austinkleon.com/
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[68] https://austinkleon.com/books/
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[69] https://austinkleon.substack.com/
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[70] https://austinkleon.com/speaking/
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[71] https://austinkleon.com/about/
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[72] https://austinkleon.com/contact/
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