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[1]
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Matriarchal Blessing
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[2]Matriarchal Blessing
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SubscribeSign in
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[https]
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Matriarchal Blessing
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Matriarchal Blessing
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I'm a feminist and I think it's harder to be a man than a woman.
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I'm a feminist and I think it's harder to be a man than a woman.
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Systemically women have it worse, but behaviorally, men are more limited.
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[9]
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[htt]
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[10]Celeste Davis
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Sep 15, 2024
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881
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[12]
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[https]
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Matriarchal Blessing
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Matriarchal Blessing
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I'm a feminist and I think it's harder to be a man than a woman.
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Copy link
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Facebook
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155
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201
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[14]
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Share
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Article voiceover
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1×
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0:00
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-9:44
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Audio playback is not supported on your browser. Please upgrade.
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When men say it is hard to be a man, I fully believe them.
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I think it is very, very hard to be a man.
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Perhaps since I write an essay about patriarchy each week, you may think I’m
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saying that in a sarcastic voice “Oh it’s SOOoooOO hard to have society built
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just for you[15]1 and have all the power in government, business and religion
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for *checks watch* all of recorded history.[16]2 Boo hoo. Sad violins for you.”
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But I’m not being sarcastic.
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Very earnestly I believe that despite greater access to power and resources,
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the box labeled “socially acceptable ways to be a man” is much smaller than the
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box labeled “socially acceptable ways to be a woman.”
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[17]
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[https]
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The masculine is at the top of the power hierarchy, but their behavior is more
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limited.
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Men’s behavior is limited to the masculine, but women have access to both
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masculine and feminine behavior.
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[18]
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[https]
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[19]
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[https]
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Women are not allowed to LOOK masculine, but they are often rewarded for ACTING
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masculine- being strong and assertive, being one of the guys, favoring music,
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books and media by men, ridiculing girly things, etc.
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I’m going to paint with broad strokes here with obvious exceptions, but in
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generalized terms of social acceptability:
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• Women can be strong, but men can’t be weak.
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• Women can wear blue, but men can’t wear pink.
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• Girls can have boy names, but boys can’t have girl names.
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• Women can be executives, but men can’t be homemakers.
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• Girls can play basketball, but boys can’t do ballet.
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• Women read books by men, but men don’t read books by women.
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• Little girls can play with trucks and dinosaurs, but little boys can’t play
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with dolls.
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• Women can lift weights, but men don’t do pilates.
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• Women can like action movies, but men can’t like chick flicks.
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• Women can act tough and assertive, but men can’t act soft and submissive.
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[20]
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Strong Girl GIFs | Tenor
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Women have access to the whole range of human behavior; men only have access to
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the masculine.[21]3
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(And yes, [22]blurring the gender binary makes everything better for everyone.)
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Why is this?
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Do you have a guess? I’ll give you a clue. Starts with a p. Rhymes with
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schmatriarchy.
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It is because with live in a system that values and rewards all things man.
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Men have more power, but are more limited in how they can act.
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Speaking on this predicament of [24]patriarchy harming men,
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[25]Lane Anderson
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recently quoted researcher Michael Kimmel who said,
|
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“Men are in power as a group but do not feel power as individuals.. Men
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were raised to believe themselves entitled to feel that power, but do not
|
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feel it. No wonder men are frustrated and angry...
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|
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Failure to embody the rules of manhood is a source of men's confusion and
|
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pain... it is unrealizable for any man. But we keep trying, vainly, to
|
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measure up. American masculinity is a relentless test."
|
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|
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Thomas Page McBee speaks to this juxtaposition of men having more power but
|
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less connection in his book [26]Amateur.
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Thomas is a trans man. Since transitioning he has noticed that when he speaks,
|
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everyone is quiet. No one interrupts him anymore. He says, “It was wonderful
|
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and weird. Until I was a man, I had no idea how good men have it at work.”
|
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[27]
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amateur.jpg
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But there are downsides. A year after his transition Thomas lost his mother. He
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didn’t realize how much he needed human touch until it disappeared from his
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life. No one hugged him anymore. He could go months without anyone touching
|
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him. This was a foreign experience to Thomas.
|
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|
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He says he has become hyper aware of both how acceptable his anger is, and how
|
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unacceptable his sadness is. The people in his life- men and women alike- are
|
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visibly uncomfortable when he cries.
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|
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He misses the deep friendships that came easily as a woman.
|
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|
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It's hard to make friends when all the ingredients necessary to
|
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friendship--vulnerability, compassion and thoughtfulness-- are seen as a threat
|
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to masculinity.
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[28]
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Thomas Page McBee by Julie Greicius
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Thomas Page Mcbee. [29]source
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Recently
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[30]15thCenturyFeminist
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interviewed
|
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[31]Jeremy Mohler
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about his experience of performing masculinity. Of his teenage years he said,
|
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“I couldn't admit that I wanted to be closer with my friends. That would
|
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mean I was 'soft,' 'girly,' or 'gay.' I had to act stoic, like everything
|
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was fine, even if I was starving for love and connection inside."
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Jeremy and Thomas are far from the only men having trouble with connection.
|
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Male loneliness is being called an epidemic. [32]Psychologist Nick Norman
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describes the problem in this way:
|
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"Men have often reported having fewer friends and social connections to
|
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rely on, [33]with 15 percent saying they have no close friends at all. Yet,
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when surveyed, men often report wanting more fulfilling relationships. What
|
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is keeping men from these connections when it’s such a fundamental need?...
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the issue lies in the unspoken rules men are handed in boyhood."
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The unspoken rule #1? You are not allowed to act like a girl.
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Unfortunately friendships, relationships and human connection require all sorts
|
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of girly things like empathy, showing emotion, being vulnerable and active
|
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listening.
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|
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Men report wanting more fulfilling relationships, but they have been barred
|
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from the behaviors that fulfilling relationships require.
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“Learning to wear a mask is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity a boy
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learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not
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conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up
|
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the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn
|
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self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.” - bell
|
||||
hooks [34]the will to change
|
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|
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If men are in charge like patriarchy says, why are men suffering so much?
|
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|
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Many take the fact that it is difficult to be a man to mean that patriarchy is
|
||||
not real—
|
||||
|
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Men are the victims of society, so how could they be the instigators of their
|
||||
own victimhood? It makes no sense. If men set this system up to favor men,
|
||||
wouldn’t men be thriving? If patriarchy is real, why are men suffering?
|
||||
|
||||
Great question. I’m going to let the brilliant creator and thinker [36]Cyzor
|
||||
[37]4 cover this one.
|
||||
|
||||
He received a message complete with two pages of documentation showing that men
|
||||
are the real victims (more suicide, more likely to be victims of crime, more
|
||||
likely to be charged “guilty” in court, etc) so all this whining about
|
||||
patriarchy is bullshit.
|
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|
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Here is Cyzor’s response:
|
||||
|
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[38][https]
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[39]@cyzorgg[40]Day 12 and the final day of reposting my top. videos of the
|
||||
year. This is by far both my favorite video and one of the best performing that
|
||||
I made this year and Im so glad everyone liked it and felt it was helpful and
|
||||
useful for them in their own lives. In the next year I plan to expand and grow
|
||||
as a content creator and try tons of new avenues, work with brands, and see
|
||||
what works for me. but whatever I do, I'll continue to share my thoughts in
|
||||
hopes they help others! I appreciate you all for the love and support this
|
||||
year!!
|
||||
[alert-circ]Tiktok failed to load.
|
||||
|
||||
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
“Men are more likely to die by homicide. Men are more likely to be victims
|
||||
of crime. Men are also more likely to COMMIT all of those crimes. 72% of
|
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crimes are done by men. Men are the victims of other men.
|
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|
||||
Men are discriminated in universities, that are run by men. Men are going
|
||||
to jail longer in a justice system, that is run by men. Bro. You are mad at
|
||||
the same structure that women are trying to get rid of.
|
||||
|
||||
If you are complaining about court policies, social expectations, crime-
|
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bro - you are complaining about the patriarchy.” - Cyzor
|
||||
|
||||
Men suffer under patriarchy because patriarchy is a system set up by a few men
|
||||
over everyone else- including most men. It is a system that allows for the most
|
||||
greedy, aggressive and selfish to rise to the top and dominate over everyone
|
||||
else.
|
||||
|
||||
DNA scientists have discovered that 8000 years ago on average [41]only one man
|
||||
passed on his DNA for every 17 women. Not just in one place, but as a global
|
||||
average. The majority of men were not procreating. Not because there was a mass
|
||||
death of males, but because only a few men accumulated wealth, power and women
|
||||
and withheld resources from the rest.
|
||||
|
||||
A small minority of men were allowed to rule and make life worse for everyone
|
||||
else- men and women alike.
|
||||
|
||||
[42]And as we discussed last week with lawns, just because something 1. begins
|
||||
for no reason and 2. harms everyone does not mean we won’t religiously devote
|
||||
ourselves to that thing.
|
||||
|
||||
[43]
|
||||
Ancient Egyptian Battles & Wars - Egypt Tours Portal (US)
|
||||
So manly.
|
||||
|
||||
We often hear that patriarchy hurts men too, but how many men actually believe
|
||||
this?
|
||||
|
||||
All too often, once the p word enters the chat, defenses are raised,
|
||||
conversations are ended.
|
||||
|
||||
But Cyzor, no stranger to patriarchy pushback, also helped me to understand why
|
||||
it is that [44]so many men shut down and become defensive when patriarchy is
|
||||
brought up when he said,
|
||||
|
||||
“I criticize those aspects of masculinity that I don’t think are healthy
|
||||
for men and if you’ve internalized those aspects of masculinity as being
|
||||
part of you, it’s going to feel like I am criticizing you.”
|
||||
|
||||
Society trains men to put manhood at the very center of their identity. When we
|
||||
talk about patriarchy, we talk about those things which men have built their
|
||||
identities and lives around. Of course they are defensive. It feels like an
|
||||
attack.
|
||||
|
||||
But we have to stop conflating patriarchy and men.
|
||||
|
||||
Our ability to have really important conversations relies on our ability to
|
||||
make this distinction.
|
||||
|
||||
So often those of us who bring up patriarchy and those who shut it down are on
|
||||
the same side. We want the same things. We want life to be better for men.
|
||||
|
||||
We must make room for the reality that we talk about patriarchy not because we
|
||||
hate men. We talk about patriarchy because we love men.
|
||||
|
||||
We have/are sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, friends. And we see the small
|
||||
box patriarchy has handed to men.
|
||||
|
||||
To #smashthepatriarchy is not to smash men- it is to smash this system that
|
||||
makes men miserable. Smash the too-small box that is making men lonely and sick
|
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and estranged from the full range of their humanity.
|
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|
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I’ll echo the [45]words of Cyzor to close us out today:
|
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|
||||
"I want men to succeed. I envision a world where men are allowed to
|
||||
experience the full range of human emotion, where they are not shamed for
|
||||
crying or being vulnerable, where they are not shamed if they are not
|
||||
physically tall or strong or rich… where men can have real emotional
|
||||
connection to one another, have a real support system with people who lift
|
||||
them up and help them when they are down, where men aren't under the
|
||||
impression that masculinity means experiencing the trials of life by
|
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yourself."
|
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|
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Amen.
|
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|
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It IS hard to be a man. It is very hard.
|
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|
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It would be a whole lot easier without patriarchy.
|
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|
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[46]Leave a comment
|
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[47]1
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|
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If you’re white
|
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|
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[48]2
|
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|
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If you’re white
|
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|
||||
[49]3
|
||||
|
||||
Yes there is some social stigma and repercussions for women acting masculine
|
||||
(in the dating pool, at work), but not to the extent of the social punishment
|
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for men acting feminine.
|
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|
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[50]4
|
||||
|
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[51]Follow him immediately. His videos are so healing.
|
||||
|
||||
Matriarchal Blessing is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts
|
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and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
|
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|
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[62][ ]
|
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Subscribe
|
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Thanks for reading Matriarchal Blessing! This post is public so feel free to
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share it.
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[64]Share
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881
|
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|
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Share this post
|
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|
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[66]
|
||||
[https]
|
||||
Matriarchal Blessing
|
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Matriarchal Blessing
|
||||
I'm a feminist and I think it's harder to be a man than a woman.
|
||||
Copy link
|
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Facebook
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Email
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Notes
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More
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[67]
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155
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201
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[68]
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Share
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Discussion about this post
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CommentsRestacks
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[ht]
|
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[ ]
|
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[ ]
|
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[ ]
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[ ]
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[72]
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[ht]
|
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[73]Arturo Mijangos
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[74]Sep 15
|
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Liked by Celeste Davis
|
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|
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This is why I continue to champion the dismantling of patriarchy. I will
|
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showcase what accessing feminine traits looks like. I will continue to teach
|
||||
how patriarchy impacts and limits men. I will continue to support lgbtq+ rights
|
||||
who exemplify broader expressions of the gender spectrum.
|
||||
|
||||
Expand full comment
|
||||
Reply
|
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Share
|
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[77]12 replies by Celeste Davis and others
|
||||
[78]
|
||||
[ht]
|
||||
[79]Kimberley Healey
|
||||
[80]Sep 15
|
||||
Liked by Celeste Davis
|
||||
|
||||
Absolutely! Thanks for the tiktok repost - he nails it. When I taught Women's
|
||||
Lit I brought in a bunch of my male colleagues to explain their experience with
|
||||
masculinity. Football coach, older teachers, younger ones - we all changed that
|
||||
day when they started sharing things they had NEVER told anyone. The
|
||||
loneliness, lack of touch and constant pressure to PROVE they were actually men
|
||||
were heartbreaking. It does suck to be a woman but I get to just be one, I
|
||||
don't have to step up and BE a man in the same way that men have to do in the
|
||||
US. One book that really helped me teach my course was For the Love of Men by
|
||||
Liz Plank. Very curious to see the comments on this great essay!
|
||||
|
||||
Expand full comment
|
||||
Reply
|
||||
Share
|
||||
[83]6 replies by Celeste Davis and others
|
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[84]153 more comments...
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[99][ ]
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© 2025 Celeste Davis
|
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[101]Privacy ∙ [102]Terms ∙ [103]Collection notice
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[104] Start Writing[105]Get the app
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[106]Substack is the home for great culture
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References:
|
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[1] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/
|
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[2] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/
|
||||
[8] https://substack.com/home/post/p-148892931?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
|
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[9] https://substack.com/@celestemdavis
|
||||
[10] https://substack.com/@celestemdavis
|
||||
[12] https://substack.com/home/post/p-148892931?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
|
||||
[13] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comments
|
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[14] javascript:void(0)
|
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[15] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-1-148892931
|
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[16] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-2-148892931
|
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[17] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F94798dee-78fc-43c9-967d-664b966d85d7_1456x1048.png
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[18] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F41c6b879-2f48-4de6-b3e4-500e9915e9d3_1456x1048.png
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[19] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F126de46d-8e49-4ca8-85c1-7ae5edbebe01_1456x1048.png
|
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[20] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd9e78a3d-537f-47b1-b9cb-60a6d548367d_220x143.gif
|
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[21] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-3-148892931
|
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[22] https://substack.com/@celestemdavis/p-146095286
|
||||
[24] https://matriarchyreport.substack.com/p/patriarchy-is-bad-for-men-and-boys
|
||||
[25] https://open.substack.com/users/1628200-lane-anderson?utm_source=mentions
|
||||
[26] https://www.thomaspagemcbee.com/amateur
|
||||
[27] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7ef7faf-a030-4e37-a271-03b1cd2518d3_300x478.jpeg
|
||||
[28] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F29bf2530-4eff-49c7-8c55-6d3dc2151c67_3008x2000.jpeg
|
||||
[29] https://midnightbreakfast.com/thomas-page-mcbee
|
||||
[30] https://open.substack.com/users/129144801-15thcenturyfeminist?utm_source=mentions
|
||||
[31] https://open.substack.com/users/3962129-jeremy-mohler?utm_source=mentions
|
||||
[32] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mens-mental-health-matters/202301/why-men-are-lonelier-than-ever
|
||||
[33] https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/
|
||||
[34] https://www.secondsale.com/p/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love/622949?ean13=9780743456081&id_product_attribute=58734820&campaignid=21540511568&adgroupid=&keyword=&device=c&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw6JS3BhBAEiwAO9waF9yLlP1Epl1Fd8T6ro4IQPtiay3SjgeYx_BK8R1ydqPJ2klvbg5dChoCNYAQAvD_BwE
|
||||
[36] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg
|
||||
[37] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-4-148892931
|
||||
[38] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg/video/7318190925937675562
|
||||
[39] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg
|
||||
[40] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg/video/7318190925937675562
|
||||
[41] http://www.psmag.com/nature-and-technology/17-to-1-reproductive-success
|
||||
[42] https://substack.com/@celestemdavis/p-148630300
|
||||
[43] https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3e3de959-b86a-4c5a-9260-1554fd1b3fee_2048x1400.jpeg
|
||||
[44] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg/video/7317746877271706922
|
||||
[45] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg/video/7317746877271706922
|
||||
[46] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comments
|
||||
[47] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-anchor-1-148892931
|
||||
[48] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-anchor-2-148892931
|
||||
[49] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-anchor-3-148892931
|
||||
[50] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man#footnote-anchor-4-148892931
|
||||
[51] https://www.tiktok.com/@cyzorgg
|
||||
[64] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share
|
||||
[66] https://substack.com/home/post/p-148892931?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
|
||||
[67] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comments
|
||||
[68] javascript:void(0)
|
||||
[72] https://substack.com/profile/165554130-arturo-mijangos?utm_source=comment
|
||||
[73] https://substack.com/profile/165554130-arturo-mijangos?utm_source=substack-feed-item
|
||||
[74] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comment/69084607
|
||||
[77] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comment/69084607
|
||||
[78] https://substack.com/profile/6902565-kimberley-healey?utm_source=comment
|
||||
[79] https://substack.com/profile/6902565-kimberley-healey?utm_source=substack-feed-item
|
||||
[80] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comment/69082532
|
||||
[83] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comment/69082532
|
||||
[84] https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/hard-to-be-a-man/comments
|
||||
[101] https://substack.com/privacy
|
||||
[102] https://substack.com/tos
|
||||
[103] https://substack.com/ccpa#personal-data-collected
|
||||
[104] https://substack.com/signup?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=footer
|
||||
[105] https://substack.com/app/app-store-redirect?utm_campaign=app-marketing&utm_content=web-footer-button
|
||||
[106] https://substack.com/
|
||||
[108] https://enable-javascript.com/
|
||||
466
static/archive/ethanmarcotte-com-p78ctl.txt
Normal file
466
static/archive/ethanmarcotte-com-p78ctl.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,466 @@
|
||||
[1]Skip to content
|
||||
|
||||
Site navigation
|
||||
|
||||
• [2]Home
|
||||
• [3]Journal
|
||||
• [4]Books
|
||||
• [5]Work
|
||||
• [6]Contact
|
||||
|
||||
[7] Search
|
||||
[8] Ethan Marcotte’s homepage Posted on 18 February 2025
|
||||
|
||||
Moving on from 18F.
|
||||
|
||||
Note: This post gets into the last few weeks of American politics. If that’s
|
||||
not your cup of tea, or if that’s a stressful topic for you, please feel free
|
||||
to skip this one. (Also, it’s a bit long. Sorry about that.)
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Last week, I finished my tenure as [9]a designer at 18F.
|
||||
|
||||
I want to state up front: I’m not leaving under a “[10]deferred resignation.” I
|
||||
also wasn’t laid off. (Though it’s possible I almost was; more on that later.)
|
||||
Instead, I resigned from my position as a product designer, submitting two
|
||||
weeks’ notice…well, two weeks ago.
|
||||
|
||||
Before I get into any of that, I’d like to write a bit about 18F, and why it
|
||||
was so hard to leave.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
While I was writing this post, I thought I’d revisit [11]what I wrote when I
|
||||
joined 18F last May:
|
||||
|
||||
1. Every single person I’ve met this week — and I’ve met quite a few!
|
||||
— has been smart, kind, and really happy to be working where they do.
|
||||
As someone new to the organization, that’s so encouraging to see.
|
||||
2. It’s, like, remarkably energizing to be around people who are really
|
||||
(really, really) passionate about making digital services work better
|
||||
for people.
|
||||
|
||||
Honestly, that holds up. Because really, the thread here is the people working
|
||||
at [12]18F, and the culture they’d built: I really, really liked showing up for
|
||||
work each morning. Everyone I met at 18F was inviting and kind, and excited to
|
||||
talk about what they were working on. (And just as crucially, what they did
|
||||
outside work.)
|
||||
|
||||
And my goodness, they were helpful — which, as a new kid joining the team, I’m
|
||||
always going to remember. Here’s one example: during my first month, I was
|
||||
grousing about some weird little computer issue, and a random coworker just
|
||||
offered to hop on a call to look at it with me. They hadn’t dealt with the
|
||||
issue before, and they definitely hadn’t dealt with me before, but they thought
|
||||
they might help a coworker out. And that impulse — maybe I can help someone out
|
||||
— sums up so many of my interactions with everyone at 18F. They were, and are,
|
||||
a remarkable group of people.
|
||||
|
||||
At the same time, I was proud of the work I was doing. Alongside my coworkers
|
||||
at 18F, I worked with client teams to help them define requirements, refine
|
||||
their designs, and build better products. I even got asked to pitch in on a
|
||||
small branding project, and I’d be the last person to call myself a brand
|
||||
designer. But I mention that because I was often asked to stretch myself, and
|
||||
every single time I felt safe trying something new — safe, and supported by my
|
||||
team. I can count on one hand the number of times over my career that I’ve felt
|
||||
that kind of safety at work. I doubt that’s true of every job in government,
|
||||
but I know it was true for me at 18F.
|
||||
|
||||
I know it sounds pat, but 18F was one of the best places I’ve ever worked.
|
||||
Until it wasn’t, and I felt I had to leave.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Before I dive in, here are a couple points that’ll become relevant:
|
||||
|
||||
• I was considered a probationary employee because I’d been employed by the
|
||||
government for less than a year. [13]Probationary employees don’t have most
|
||||
of [14]the protections afforded to “full” employees, and can be dismissed
|
||||
more easily.
|
||||
• Due to some idiosyncrasies of how our roles were defined, many (most?)
|
||||
people in my organization were legally not eligible to join a union.
|
||||
|
||||
So. After last year’s election, I was trying to decide whether or not I could
|
||||
stay at the job. A far-right candidate had won the election^[15]1, and was
|
||||
threatening to [16]reshape the government into something more partisan, more
|
||||
regressive, and more autocratic. My job involved putting rectangles on screens,
|
||||
and couldn’t have been further from any kind of political influence or impact.
|
||||
But despite that, I didn’t know if I could let myself be part of that
|
||||
government, even in a small way. (Also, [17]as you might have guessed: I was
|
||||
panicking.)
|
||||
|
||||
During that time, a friend suggested that while things were calm at work, I
|
||||
should write down some lines I wouldn’t want to cross: things I’d want to watch
|
||||
out for that, if they materialized, might be a reason to leave. This was
|
||||
wonderful advice, and I’m grateful to them for it. Equipped with a plan, even a
|
||||
small one, I started thinking through what my lines would be.
|
||||
|
||||
I’ll spare you the whole list, but I’ll share three of the entries.
|
||||
|
||||
1. First, I need to work remotely. If the incoming administration made good on
|
||||
its promise to end teleworking for federal workers, I’d likely have to find
|
||||
another job. (This is, of course, [18]why “return to office” policies
|
||||
happen.)
|
||||
2. The second line was whether I’d be asked to work on a project that could
|
||||
kill or surveil people. I know precisely what governments are capable
|
||||
of — for good and for ill. But one of the things that drew me to the work
|
||||
at 18F was that I understood they tried to weigh individual workers’
|
||||
preferences when projects were staffed. I figured if that ever changed, and
|
||||
I was asked to work on something I was morally opposed to, it’d be time to
|
||||
leave.
|
||||
3. The third was being asked to meet with someone who didn’t work for the
|
||||
government, and being asked to discuss what I did for work.
|
||||
|
||||
The first two were things I looked into when I was first interviewing at 18F:
|
||||
some of the basic criteria I was screening potential employers for. The third
|
||||
was driven at least in part by the election, and by the billionaire they were
|
||||
putting in charge of “government tech modernization.” I expected that if things
|
||||
went south, he’d just try to run the same horrible [19]Twitter layoffs handbook
|
||||
, and bring in employees from his other companies to rank — and cull — workers.
|
||||
|
||||
But it wasn’t just about that. Many things started happening to the federal
|
||||
government after the inauguration, none of them good. While the administration
|
||||
was conducting its vicious rollback of civil liberties and publicly funded
|
||||
research, [20]this billionaire’s so-called “department” was sweeping through
|
||||
[21]various federal agencies, pushing aside career civil servants and the law
|
||||
to [22]hoover up [23]radioactively [24]sensitive data — our data, bought and
|
||||
paid for with our tax dollars, I should add.^[25]2 And from what I’d read the
|
||||
group was acting on [26]dubious legal authority, and with even less [27]
|
||||
oversight or [28]transparency. I didn’t want to sit down with anyone involved
|
||||
in that, and pretend like any part of their work was lawful, legitimate, or
|
||||
moral.
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway. The list was a tremendous help; I’ll always be grateful to the friend
|
||||
who suggested it. But given the speed at which government typically moves, I
|
||||
assumed I’d have several months before I’d have to wrestle with any of these
|
||||
questions. If not longer.
|
||||
|
||||
(I know, I know. I’m in the future, too.)
|
||||
|
||||
A few weeks ago, a member of [29]the new leadership announced they’d be
|
||||
reaching out to workers to discuss their recent “technical wins”, in order to
|
||||
better understand how the organization worked. The stress on “technical wins”
|
||||
to a [30]cross-functional organization felt significant to me; it also felt
|
||||
significant that most of the sessions seemed to be getting scheduled with folks
|
||||
who’d only recently joined government — probationary employees.
|
||||
|
||||
Just to state the obvious, this isn’t what you do when you want to understand
|
||||
how your organization works; it is what you do when you’re preparing to slash
|
||||
the size of your workforce. As you might imagine, this caused no small amount
|
||||
of panic across the agency, including within 18F. The new leadership hadn’t
|
||||
communicated these plans to anyone before making their announcement, which left
|
||||
18F’s own leaders and supervisors frantically working to fill in the
|
||||
information void.
|
||||
|
||||
Shortly after the announcement, I started hearing about folks who’d had their
|
||||
meetings, but that they didn’t meet with the director who said they’d be
|
||||
conducting the interviews. Instead, they found themselves on a call with people
|
||||
who wouldn’t say where they worked in government; in a few cases, some people
|
||||
wouldn’t disclose their last names, or any part of their names.
|
||||
|
||||
And while I was watching these reports trickle in, I got a calendar invitation
|
||||
for my own interview. From the first email announcing the meetings, I figured
|
||||
one of my lines was in danger of being crossed; I just figured I’d have more
|
||||
time.
|
||||
|
||||
With only a few hours before my interview, I did a quick overview of my
|
||||
options. It looked like this:
|
||||
|
||||
1. I could do the interview.
|
||||
2. I could refuse to do the interview.
|
||||
3. I could delay: call out sick, take a personal day, whatever.
|
||||
4. I could resign.
|
||||
|
||||
The first item wasn’t really an option, as sitting down with this “department”
|
||||
wasn’t something I could let myself do. Refusing to participate would’ve likely
|
||||
been seen as insubordination by a probationary hire; delaying would’ve just
|
||||
been, well, delaying the inevitable. (It also could have been seen as
|
||||
insubordination.) My math would’ve been different if I wasn’t probationary or,
|
||||
even better, if I’d been allowed to join a union. But given my lack of labor
|
||||
protections, and the options available before me, leaving 18F — withholding my
|
||||
labor — felt like my best and only option. I called a meeting with my
|
||||
supervisor, and gave two weeks’ notice.
|
||||
|
||||
In a terrible coda, a large number of [31]probationary employees were summarily
|
||||
let go at [32]my agency just before my last day.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Leaving was the right call for me, but I’ll never feel good about the decision.
|
||||
I mean, there’s the grief angle: up until about a month ago, I was working on
|
||||
projects that felt like they mattered, and working alongside people who cared
|
||||
about helping government services work better for the public. A few months ago,
|
||||
I would’ve told you I’d like to stay there for years, which is not something
|
||||
I’ve said about any other place I’ve ever worked. I am incredibly sad to leave
|
||||
this job.
|
||||
|
||||
And look, being able to leave is, flatly, a privileged option: I can’t not work
|
||||
forever, but I can not work for a little bit. Most of my coworkers didn’t have
|
||||
that option. Some had just bought a house; some returned from parental leave,
|
||||
only to learn they might be losing the jobs they’d counted on to support their
|
||||
families.
|
||||
|
||||
I’m also angry at what was taken from me. At what’s being taken from all of us.
|
||||
I’ve watched a wonderful job, a wonderful place to work, a wonderful team get
|
||||
pulled apart by rich men in ill-fitting suits, each of them parroting the same
|
||||
talking points around “realignment” and “right-sizing”.^[33]3
|
||||
|
||||
But what’s happening right now is not about “government efficiency,” nor is it
|
||||
about “cost-cutting.” I would gently urge you to look at the net worth of the
|
||||
people who are telling you otherwise. After all, there is no financial
|
||||
analysis; no review of possible downsides, no weighing of potential negative
|
||||
impacts. There is no discussion of what could happen if our math is wrong? Or
|
||||
even more importantly, no consideration of who might be harmed?
|
||||
|
||||
Instead, as [34]Anil Dash predicted, the billionaire’s so-called “efficiency”
|
||||
“department” is best understood as a sprawling form of [35]procurement capture,
|
||||
in which a group of impossibly rich individuals are trampling over the
|
||||
regulations — and the federal workers — that stand between them and a deep,
|
||||
deep [36]revenue [37]stream: [38]your tax dollars. And as they do, they’re
|
||||
making an explicitly fascist move to roll back rights for every marginalized
|
||||
community in the country — for anyone who doesn’t look like them, or who stands
|
||||
in their way.
|
||||
|
||||
So, yes. This is a wholesale attack on the American safety net, led by
|
||||
billionaires and far-right politicians who are frighteningly comfortable with
|
||||
fascism and autocracy. The last month has been called a coup by [39]politicians
|
||||
, [40]researchers, and [41]watchdogs alike. I don’t want to diminish the harm
|
||||
these people will do — the harm they are doing. I also don’t want to downplay
|
||||
the terror of this moment, because lord knows I fucking feel it.
|
||||
|
||||
At the same time: what’s happening right now is also a labor story.
|
||||
|
||||
If the American government is slow-moving, it’s because rapid change is deadly
|
||||
when you’re talking about healthcare, social security checks, market
|
||||
regulations, food safety, or any of the other countless critical functions it
|
||||
performs. Those federal agencies are, quite simply, infrastructure. And as [42]
|
||||
Deb Chachra showed in [43]her excellent book, infrastructure is how a society
|
||||
invests in its future: in its ongoing economic, societal, and political
|
||||
stability.
|
||||
|
||||
In government, that infrastructure is built by laws, policies, and regulations.
|
||||
But regulations alone do not infrastructure make. Regulations require workers
|
||||
to become infrastructure: those workers who labor to understand new policies,
|
||||
how best to enact them, and then work to make them legible and understandable
|
||||
to the American public — and, yes, to enforce them. Without those federal
|
||||
workers, and their labor, these systems fall apart. And the architects of this
|
||||
assault on the federal workforce are keenly aware of that fact.
|
||||
|
||||
The last month has, flatly, been hell. But even so, I wouldn’t trade away my
|
||||
time at 18F for anything. It was a fantastic place to work, filled with
|
||||
genuine, hard-working people who cared for that work and for each other. Even
|
||||
when things got rough, I saw the leaders of 18F scramble to answer their team’s
|
||||
questions; I saw coworkers reaching out to support each other in countless
|
||||
little ways. All while ensuring they got their project work in on time. I saw
|
||||
something wonderful at work, in my work. I’m always going to be grateful for
|
||||
that, and to my coworkers.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Resources
|
||||
|
||||
If this story’s moved you, I hope it moves you to action. Because the workers I
|
||||
mention above quite literally need your support.
|
||||
|
||||
A few resources, if you’re interested:
|
||||
|
||||
• Wired has some [44]good coverage on the layoffs I described above, and [45]
|
||||
on the billionaire coup more generally.
|
||||
• [46]Labor Notes also has some indispensable coverage around [47]this
|
||||
administration’s attacks on the federal workforce, and how organized labor
|
||||
is fighting back.
|
||||
• The [48]Working Families Party and [49]Emily Amick both had some great
|
||||
primers on what it means to call your members of Congress, if that’s a
|
||||
thing you’re able to do.
|
||||
• If you’re looking for other ways to get engaged, [50]Mariame Kaba has
|
||||
pulled together a massive list of [51]actions that are not protesting or
|
||||
voting.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Footnotes
|
||||
|
||||
1. A victory by the slimmest of margins, mind you. But still a victory. [52]↩︎
|
||||
|
||||
2. And, seemingly coincidentally, thereby ending [53]various investigations
|
||||
against the head of said “department”, and occasionally [54]lining his
|
||||
pockets. [55]↩︎
|
||||
|
||||
3. And perhaps just as excruciating for me: “datalake”. [56]↩︎
|
||||
|
||||
Tagged with
|
||||
|
||||
• [57]work
|
||||
• [58]jobs
|
||||
• [59]politics
|
||||
• [60]us politics
|
||||
• [61]employment
|
||||
• [62]government
|
||||
|
||||
Related posts
|
||||
|
||||
• [63]On context. I read these two essays some time ago, and I keep returning
|
||||
to them. I bet you’ll like them too.
|
||||
• [64]The bricks we lay. Design is not neutral.
|
||||
• [65]Free, faster. Many of the free web themes I’ve seen recently are…slow.
|
||||
How can we fix that?
|
||||
• [66]Hello, Editorially. I’ve cofounded a startup with some dear friends.
|
||||
It’s called Editorially. I’d like to tell you a little about it.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
You can find more entries in [67]my journal.
|
||||
|
||||
Read another post
|
||||
|
||||
[68] Previously: A challenge of blog questions.
|
||||
|
||||
What did I just read?
|
||||
|
||||
Photo of Ethan standing in front of a leafy green hedge.
|
||||
|
||||
Hi! I’m Ethan Marcotte, an independent web designer and writer. Some time ago,
|
||||
I coined the term “responsive web design.” (You can [69]read more about me or
|
||||
[70]my work, if you like.)
|
||||
|
||||
My latest book
|
||||
|
||||
[book-ydatu]
|
||||
|
||||
[71]You Deserve a Tech Union is a book about the tech industry’s resurgent
|
||||
labor movement, and how you can—and should—be part of it. [72]Learn more.
|
||||
|
||||
Subscribe for updates!
|
||||
|
||||
If you enjoyed this post, sign up to get new journal entries emailed to you:
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Your email address:
|
||||
|
||||
[73][ ]
|
||||
[74][ ]
|
||||
[75][Subscribe]
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Site footer
|
||||
|
||||
[76] Ethan Marcotte’s homepage
|
||||
|
||||
Here
|
||||
|
||||
• [77]Home
|
||||
• [78]Journal
|
||||
• [79]Books
|
||||
• [80]Work
|
||||
• [81]Contact
|
||||
|
||||
Elsewhere
|
||||
|
||||
• [82]Mastodon
|
||||
• [83]Bluesky (sorta)
|
||||
• [84]LinkedIn (reluctantly, semi-ironically)
|
||||
• [DEL:Instagram (occasionally):DEL]
|
||||
• [DEL:Twitter:DEL]
|
||||
|
||||
Copyright © 1999–2025 Ethan Marcotte. All rights reserved.
|
||||
|
||||
No part of this website may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose
|
||||
of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems. The author
|
||||
expressly reserves this work from the text and data mining exception.
|
||||
|
||||
(That means get lost, “AI” scrapers.)
|
||||
|
||||
[85]Accessibility statement. [86]RSS feed. [87]Back to top.
|
||||
[88]Skip to content
|
||||
Current page
|
||||
Search:
|
||||
[93][ ]
|
||||
|
||||
References:
|
||||
|
||||
[1] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#content
|
||||
[2] https://ethanmarcotte.com/
|
||||
[3] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/
|
||||
[4] https://ethanmarcotte.com/books/
|
||||
[5] https://ethanmarcotte.com/work/
|
||||
[6] https://ethanmarcotte.com/contact/
|
||||
[7] https://ethanmarcotte.com/search/
|
||||
[8] https://ethanmarcotte.com/
|
||||
[9] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/18f/
|
||||
[10] https://www.afge.org/article/afge-cautions-feds-not-to-be-tricked-into-resigning-you-might-not-get-paid/
|
||||
[11] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/18f/
|
||||
[12] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/18F
|
||||
[13] https://federalnewsnetwork.com/workforce-rightsgovernance/2025/02/what-are-the-rules-for-probationary-periods-and-federal-employees/
|
||||
[14] https://www.mspb.gov/
|
||||
[15] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#fn-margins
|
||||
[16] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_2025
|
||||
[17] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/catalog/
|
||||
[18] https://finance.yahoo.com/news/quarter-bosses-admit-return-office-104103939.html
|
||||
[19] https://web.archive.org/web/20221102222024/https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2022/10/29/elon-musk-twitter-takeover/#:~:text=The%20note%20continued%3A%20%E2%80%9CPlease%20come%20prepared%20with%20code%20as%20a%20backup%20to%20review%20on%20your%20own%20machines%20with%20Elon.%E2%80%9D%20Later%2C%20people%20inside%20the%20company%20reported%20that%20Tesla%20engineers%20were%20in%20fact%20reviewing%20the%20code.
|
||||
[20] https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c23vkd57471o#:~:text=Despite%20its%20full%20name%2C%20Doge%20is%20not%20an%20official%20government%20department%2C%20which%20would%20have%20had%20to%20be%20established%20by%20an%20act%20of%20Congress.
|
||||
[21] https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-lackeys-office-personnel-management-opm-neuralink-x-boring-stalin/
|
||||
[22] https://abcnews.go.com/US/judge-decide-block-doge-accessing-sensitive-labor-department/story?id=118575362
|
||||
[23] https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/doge/doge-affiliated-employee-accessed-irs-system-sensitive-taxpayer-inform-rcna192423
|
||||
[24] https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/17/politics/doge-irs-taxpayer-data/index.html
|
||||
[25] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#fn-conflicts
|
||||
[26] https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2025/02/04/elon-musk-government-legal-doge/
|
||||
[27] https://oversightdemocrats.house.gov/sites/evo-subsites/democrats-oversight.house.gov/files/evo-media-document/2025-02-06.Dem%20Members%20to%20IGs%20re%20Musk.pdf
|
||||
[28] https://www.404media.co/doge-employees-ordered-to-stop-using-slack-while-agency-transitions-to-a-records-system-not-subject-to-foia/
|
||||
[29] https://www.gsa.gov/about-us/newsroom/news-releases/gsa-announces-new-commissioners-tts-director-and-general-counsel-01242025
|
||||
[30] https://experience.dropbox.com/resources/cross-functional-teams
|
||||
[31] https://www.npr.org/2025/02/13/nx-s1-5296928/layoffs-trump-doge-education-energy
|
||||
[32] https://fedscoop.com/gsa-looks-to-terminate-probationary-employees/
|
||||
[33] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#fn-datalake
|
||||
[34] https://www.anildash.com/
|
||||
[35] https://www.anildash.com/2025/01/04/DOGE-procurement-capture/
|
||||
[36] https://newrepublic.com/article/191506/musk-bezos-pichai-zuckerberg-microsoft-trump-climate
|
||||
[37] https://www.technologyreview.com/2024/12/04/1107897/openais-new-defense-contract-completes-its-military-pivot/
|
||||
[38] https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-lieutenant-gsa-ai-agency/
|
||||
[39] https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/02/03/dems-elon-musk-doge-takeover-treasury/78187978007/
|
||||
[40] https://www.techpolicy.press/anatomy-of-an-ai-coup/
|
||||
[41] https://therevolvingdoorproject.org/tracking-the-doge-treasury-raid/
|
||||
[42] http://debcha.org/
|
||||
[43] https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/612711/how-infrastructure-works-by-deb-chachra/
|
||||
[44] https://www.wired.com/story/doge-tts-fired/
|
||||
[45] https://www.wired.com/tag/elon-musk/
|
||||
[46] https://labornotes.org/
|
||||
[47] https://labornotes.org/2025/02/federal-workers-organize-against-billionaire-power-grab
|
||||
[48] https://www.instagram.com/workingfamilies/p/DGLZz2CP9bH/
|
||||
[49] https://emilyinyourphone.substack.com/p/everything-you-need-to-know-about
|
||||
[50] https://bsky.app/profile/prisonculture.bsky.social
|
||||
[51] https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OSWxykA1WHOi0vTPLAJDaCeVhR3uSfh7PhlCj4t4yT0/edit?tab=t.0
|
||||
[52] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#fnref-fn-margins
|
||||
[53] https://www.npr.org/2025/02/12/nx-s1-5293382/x-elon-musk-doge-cfpb
|
||||
[54] https://www.levernews.com/musk-just-scored-more-government-cash-while-pushing-education-cuts/
|
||||
[55] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#fnref-fn-conflicts
|
||||
[56] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#fnref-fn-datalake
|
||||
[57] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/tag/work
|
||||
[58] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/tag/jobs
|
||||
[59] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/tag/politics
|
||||
[60] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/tag/us-politics
|
||||
[61] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/tag/employment
|
||||
[62] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/tag/government
|
||||
[63] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/on-context/
|
||||
[64] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/the-bricks-we-lay/
|
||||
[65] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/free-faster/
|
||||
[66] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/hello-editorially/
|
||||
[67] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/
|
||||
[68] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/blog-questions-challenge/
|
||||
[69] https://ethanmarcotte.com/
|
||||
[70] https://ethanmarcotte.com/work/
|
||||
[71] https://ethanmarcotte.com/books/you-deserve-a-tech-union/
|
||||
[72] https://ethanmarcotte.com/books/you-deserve-a-tech-union/
|
||||
[76] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#
|
||||
[77] https://ethanmarcotte.com/
|
||||
[78] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/
|
||||
[79] https://ethanmarcotte.com/books/
|
||||
[80] https://ethanmarcotte.com/work/
|
||||
[81] https://ethanmarcotte.com/contact/
|
||||
[82] https://follow.ethanmarcotte.com/@beep
|
||||
[83] https://bsky.app/profile/ethanmarcotte.com
|
||||
[84] https://www.linkedin.com/in/ethan-marcotte/
|
||||
[85] https://ethanmarcotte.com/accessibility/
|
||||
[86] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/feed.xml
|
||||
[87] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#top
|
||||
[88] https://ethanmarcotte.com/wrote/leaving-18f/#content
|
||||
555
static/archive/muffinman-io-lxkzuw.txt
Normal file
555
static/archive/muffinman-io-lxkzuw.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,555 @@
|
||||
[1]Jump to content
|
||||
[2] [4] Art /[5] Blog /[6] Projects /[7] About /[8] Stats /Search
|
||||
|
||||
The Tiny Book of Great Joys
|
||||
|
||||
10. February 2025
|
||||
Posted in [12]Random
|
||||
· 19 minutes read
|
||||
|
||||
If you are interested in how I over-engineered the process of making a tiny
|
||||
book for my wife, using AI, a pen plotter, a 3D printer, and a lot of time, you
|
||||
are in the right place. The book is titled The Tiny Book of Great Joys (Mala
|
||||
Knjiga Velikih Radosti in Serbian) , and here is how it turned out:
|
||||
|
||||
The Tiny Book of Great Joys sitting on the table slightly open with the title
|
||||
page showing
|
||||
[13] Photo 1 [14] Photo 1 [15] Photo 1
|
||||
|
||||
My wife is delighted with it, so it was worth all the effort.
|
||||
|
||||
This post will take you through the process. It will be a long one, but please
|
||||
stick around - I promise there will be a lot of pretty pictures.
|
||||
|
||||
Here is the outline of the post:
|
||||
|
||||
• [16]The idea
|
||||
• [17]Drawings
|
||||
• [18]Text
|
||||
• [19]Plotting
|
||||
• [20]Bookbinding
|
||||
• [21]The finished book
|
||||
• [22]Timeline
|
||||
• [23]Conclusion
|
||||
|
||||
The idea[24] #
|
||||
|
||||
I had this idea for a while after seeing something similar somewhere on the
|
||||
internet.. Since then, I always wanted to make one for my wife - a physically
|
||||
small book with a bunch of small drawings of our memories together, inside
|
||||
jokes, and little things she likes.
|
||||
|
||||
I wanted the illustrations to be hand-drawn, and I had a plan to ask my friend
|
||||
to do them. But I knew he would refuse any kind of payment, so I felt bad
|
||||
adding more work to his plate. So I shelved the idea, but every now and then,
|
||||
it would pop up in my head.
|
||||
|
||||
Fast forward a few years - we got a kid, and our routine completely changed. We
|
||||
are enjoying it a lot, but it can be very exhausting, and every day seems
|
||||
identical to the last. That's why I decided I needed to do something for her to
|
||||
break the routine. The book idea seemed perfect - personal and handcrafted - so
|
||||
I gave it a try.
|
||||
|
||||
To be able to do everything myself, I went to create digital drawings and then
|
||||
draw them on paper using my trusty pen plotter.
|
||||
|
||||
With the idea in place, I moved on to creating the drawings - which turned out
|
||||
to be a challenge of its own.
|
||||
|
||||
Drawings[25] #
|
||||
|
||||
For pen plotting, one needs vector files, so I started drawing in Figma.
|
||||
Unfortunately, I quickly realized that my drawing skills would not get me the
|
||||
result I had envisioned. Determined to do it this time, I decided to try using
|
||||
AI to generate images.
|
||||
|
||||
Midjourney[26] #
|
||||
|
||||
I got myself a Midjourney subscription and started playing with it. It took a
|
||||
lot of failed attempts to figure out how to get drawings that were simple and
|
||||
had a strong hand-drawn feel to them. Even then, I ended up editing every one
|
||||
of them, but more on that later.
|
||||
|
||||
One of the first images I was satisfied with (it didn't end up in the book,
|
||||
though):
|
||||
|
||||
Black and white drawing of a cute fox curled up sleeping.
|
||||
|
||||
It took a lot of time, but it was fun. Failed attempts were often quirky and
|
||||
funny, and I was learning how to use the tool. And it made me feel like a
|
||||
secret agent, doing it next to my wife, who had no idea what I was up to.
|
||||
|
||||
A bunch of attempts at drawing Link from Zelda
|
||||
|
||||
Prompting[27] #
|
||||
|
||||
I may be wrong, but I think Midjourney wasn't built for the kind of
|
||||
illustrations I had in mind. I was after simple, hand-drawn illustrations that
|
||||
felt personal. Luckily, I found a style reference (--sref 230156437) that
|
||||
worked well for my case. I used it to generate almost all of the drawings that
|
||||
ended up in the book. For those who haven't used Midjourney - you can use
|
||||
images as style references to influence the style of images you want to
|
||||
generate.
|
||||
|
||||
Most of my images were generated using that sref code and a style weight (A
|
||||
number that tells Midjourney how much the reference should influence the final
|
||||
output) between 150 and 400 (it can go from 0 to 1000).
|
||||
|
||||
As for the prompts, these are the key terms I combined with the description and
|
||||
the style reference:
|
||||
|
||||
• black and white
|
||||
• vector line art
|
||||
• stylized simple drawing
|
||||
• solid white background
|
||||
• isolated on white background
|
||||
• low detail
|
||||
• clean edges
|
||||
• sketch
|
||||
• rough sketch
|
||||
• children's coloring book
|
||||
|
||||
It took me a lot of tries - between 10 and 30 attempts for each image you see
|
||||
in the book.
|
||||
|
||||
AI to Plotter[28] #
|
||||
|
||||
Once I solved the image generation part, I had to figure out how to turn them
|
||||
into vector files for plotting. The first thing I tried was something similar
|
||||
to halftone. As you can see below, in this process, the images completely lost
|
||||
the hand-drawn feel.
|
||||
|
||||
The same fox drawing, but but drawn with a lot of small dots, using technique
|
||||
similar to halftone
|
||||
|
||||
Then I remembered [29]this plot of Marble Machine X I did a while ago, for
|
||||
which I used AutoTrace to convert the original image to a vector file. The
|
||||
great thing about AutoTrace is that it supports "centerline tracing". And this
|
||||
time, I learned that Inkscape has a great AutoTrace plugin, which made it even
|
||||
easier to convert.
|
||||
|
||||
What makes centerline tracing different[30] #
|
||||
|
||||
Most of the tools that convert raster to vector images do it by outlining
|
||||
shapes. This is not suitable for plotting, as each line in the original image
|
||||
becomes a sausage-like shape. Centerline tracing, on the other hand, tries to
|
||||
draw a single line following the middle path through shapes. Don't worry if it
|
||||
sounds confusing; the example below should make things clearer.
|
||||
|
||||
Here is the image of Link from The Legend of Zelda generated by Midjourney:
|
||||
|
||||
Black and white cartoony drawing of Link from The Legend of Zelda standing with
|
||||
a sword and shield.
|
||||
|
||||
After applying a common vectorization technique, we get this. As you can see,
|
||||
each line in the original drawing is now outlined, creating this messy-looking
|
||||
image.
|
||||
|
||||
Vectorized image of Link using common vectorization technique with each area
|
||||
outlined black
|
||||
|
||||
But if we use centerline tracing, it suddenly looks a lot more like a drawing.
|
||||
It is not perfect, but don't worry - we are going to clean it up in the next
|
||||
step.
|
||||
|
||||
Vectorized image of Link using centerline tracing, looking much more like a
|
||||
real drawing
|
||||
|
||||
Cleaning up[31] #
|
||||
|
||||
In the points where lines touch or cross, AutoTrace is not sure which line to
|
||||
follow and creates these funky-looking joints. Here is an exaggerated example
|
||||
to show you what I'm talking about. Input is the raster image at the top and
|
||||
the vectorized result is at the bottom:
|
||||
|
||||
Lines that are crossing and touching before and after centerline tracing
|
||||
|
||||
But I found out that if I roughly separate these lines, I get a much better
|
||||
result.
|
||||
|
||||
Lines that are crossing and touching, but slightly separated before tracing,
|
||||
with the result being much better
|
||||
|
||||
Let's now apply this technique to the image of Link we've seen above. After
|
||||
separating lines (and some cleaning up) this is the image I ended up with. It
|
||||
is rough, but it is only used as an input for the tracing process, so it
|
||||
doesn't really matter. This was manual and somewhat tedious process, but I
|
||||
enjoyed it overall. It was a sort of meditation for me.
|
||||
|
||||
The image of Link, but this time with lines slightly separated and details
|
||||
removed
|
||||
|
||||
And finally, when we trace this image, we get a really nice and clean vector
|
||||
file perfect for plotting. Very clean vectorized image of Link
|
||||
|
||||
Here is another example. We start with the image I generated using Midjourney:
|
||||
|
||||
Black and white drawing of a woman, man, little girl and a dog walking in a
|
||||
forest
|
||||
|
||||
After editing, removing details and separating lines, we get this one:
|
||||
|
||||
The same image of the family walking in the forest but with lines separated and
|
||||
some parts redrawn
|
||||
|
||||
And the traced vector result:
|
||||
|
||||
Vectorized image of of the family walking in the forest
|
||||
|
||||
You'll notice that in both examples I did some redrawing (For example, in the
|
||||
second image, I redraw the dog completely to look like our dog Zappa.) . I did
|
||||
that for pretty much all of the images, to fix things I wasn't able to polish
|
||||
using prompts. I also removed a lot of details to make sure images are crisp
|
||||
and readable at the small size.
|
||||
|
||||
Final image flow[32] #
|
||||
|
||||
All of this took a lot of experimentation, but it gave me a pretty solid
|
||||
workflow which I used to generate all of the images. The complete flow looks
|
||||
like this:
|
||||
|
||||
• Generate images using Midjourney.
|
||||
• Upscale them two times, because upscaled images were easier to edit and
|
||||
tracing was more precise.
|
||||
• Clean up, redraw and separate lines by hand using Gimp.
|
||||
• Use Inkscape plugin to run AutoTrace centerline tracing.
|
||||
|
||||
It took me a while to generate all the images, and the fact that I was trying
|
||||
to keep it a secret from my wife didn't help. I think I did it over the span of
|
||||
two weeks, mostly in the evening after she would go to bed.
|
||||
|
||||
Ganon (Name of the main villain Link fights against in The Legend of Zelda
|
||||
series) never stood a chance![33] #
|
||||
|
||||
Before we continue I just want to show you two funky images of Link that really
|
||||
made me laugh:
|
||||
|
||||
Funky looking Links generated by Midjourney
|
||||
|
||||
Midjourney please staph!
|
||||
|
||||
Text[34] #
|
||||
|
||||
With the drawings ready, I turned to the next crucial part - the text. I first
|
||||
wanted to write everything by hand, photograph it and then vectorize it in the
|
||||
same way I did with the images. But it was a hassle - I had to do a lot of
|
||||
editing for text to look as my handwriting.
|
||||
|
||||
Evil Mad Scientist, the maker of my pen plotter, has a fantastic tool called
|
||||
[35]Hershey Text. It contains a bunch of single-line fonts ideal for plotting.
|
||||
I chose the EMS Elfin font as it looked playful and hand-drawn. I used it to
|
||||
write all of the text in the book and I think it turned out great.
|
||||
|
||||
Here is how it looks:
|
||||
|
||||
Title of the book in English and Aerbian in EMS Elfin font
|
||||
|
||||
Plotting[36] #
|
||||
|
||||
The tricky part with bookbinding is that pages are not printed in order, but in
|
||||
a way that when you fold the sheets in half, you get the right order. I used
|
||||
Figma to design the layout, with a great care to make sure pages are in order
|
||||
after double-sided plotting.
|
||||
|
||||
Here is the layout laid out on A4 sized paper. Sorry for blurring the text, but
|
||||
a lot of it is very personal and I want to keep it for our eyes only.
|
||||
|
||||
Layout of the book ready for plotting
|
||||
|
||||
Plotting is the part that went the smoothest, but not without hiccups. I
|
||||
usually use Pigma Micron blackliner markers. They use archival quality ink and
|
||||
they are literally indestructible. But this time, even the thinnest one I had
|
||||
was too thick for the book this small.
|
||||
|
||||
Here you can see the first two test plots (Sorry for the poor quality photos, I
|
||||
threw the plots away, so these are the only ones I have) using markers of 0.2mm
|
||||
and 0.1mm thickness respectively. Lines got a bit smudged and looked much
|
||||
thicker than I expected. This was also the moment I realized I need to remove a
|
||||
lot of details (A friend of mine said that in these plots, Link looks like he
|
||||
has measles) from the images to make them readable at this size.
|
||||
|
||||
Test plot using 0.2mm marker Test plot using 0.1mm marker
|
||||
|
||||
I needed to find a thinner pen.
|
||||
|
||||
Technical pen to the rescue[37] #
|
||||
|
||||
Blackliner markers were made as a more practical replacement for technical
|
||||
pens. But from what I've read, an old-school technical pen was the only thing
|
||||
capable of achieving super-fine lines I wanted. I went online and ordered
|
||||
Rotring Isograph 0.2mm. As soon as it arrived I sneaked out to my study and did
|
||||
another test plot using it. Oh boy, was I happy when I saw the result:
|
||||
|
||||
Test plot using a technical pen
|
||||
|
||||
Lines were thin and crisp and at this point I was convinced the project will be
|
||||
a success!
|
||||
|
||||
Smudged drawings[38] #
|
||||
|
||||
All of the first plots were done on 120gsm printer paper. It is somewhat thick
|
||||
paper and drawings looked fantastic. Unfortunately, when I bound the pages
|
||||
together, the drawings and letters would get transferred on the opposite pages.
|
||||
I could probably get away with it, considering the whole hand made feel of the
|
||||
book. But I wanted it to be perfect.
|
||||
|
||||
A friend advised me to leave ink to dry for a few hours. I left each side to
|
||||
dry for 24 hours, but it smudged again. Next time I tried putting the plot
|
||||
(before cutting the pages) between two sheets of papers and pressing it with
|
||||
heavy books. I did that for more than 24 hours, but still after cutting and
|
||||
bounding the pages, they got smudged again. At this point I was becoming
|
||||
somewhat desperate. As the last resort I ordered different, 100gsm paper and to
|
||||
my relief it worked! Crisis averted!
|
||||
|
||||
In the final version you can still see tiny traces on a few pages, but these
|
||||
are barely visible and don't really bother me.
|
||||
|
||||
After plotting and cutting I was left with a stack of somewhat delicate pages.
|
||||
Now, it was finally time to turn them into a book.
|
||||
|
||||
Bookbinding[39] #
|
||||
|
||||
As you can imagine, I had zero bookbinding experience. There are a lot of
|
||||
resources online, but two of them were crucial for my project as they were on
|
||||
how to bind tiny books:
|
||||
|
||||
• [40]Mini BookBinding Marathon video
|
||||
• [41]How to Make A Miniature Hardback Book article
|
||||
|
||||
After reading and watching these and a few generic articles on bookbinding, I
|
||||
gathered enough info to try doing it myself. I thought I was super clever
|
||||
because I 3D printed sides and spine of the book. I designed sewing holes in
|
||||
the spine so I can connect the pages directly to it without using glue. It was
|
||||
a decent idea, but it left a gap between two signatures (In bookbinding, a
|
||||
section, gathering, or signature is a group of sheets folded in half.) . Still,
|
||||
I went with it for the first try.
|
||||
|
||||
3D printed spine with two book signatures already sewn to it
|
||||
|
||||
I laid everything down on the canvas that the book would be wrapped in and
|
||||
started assembling it. But I made a crucial mistake - I used super glue. It
|
||||
dries quickly, it is stiff, and doesn't glue 3D printed plastic well and it
|
||||
dissolved the paper I used. Long story short, I made a mess. But I didn't
|
||||
stress too much, I just proclaimed that version is a prototype and used it as a
|
||||
learning experience.
|
||||
|
||||
I ordered proper bookbinding glue (PVA). While I was waiting for it, I focused
|
||||
on properly sewing the pages together.
|
||||
|
||||
Sewing the pages[42] #
|
||||
|
||||
The first time I sewed the pages together, I poked the holes by hand and they
|
||||
were somewhat uneven. Again, it was nothing major, but I didn't like it. So I
|
||||
designed and 3D printed a simple tool to help me drill the holes evenly.
|
||||
|
||||
The tool has two parts, and the pages fit snugly between them. Both top and
|
||||
bottom parts have holes, so I was able to put the needle through and poke
|
||||
perfectly even holes in the pages. I'm very proud of this silly contraption.
|
||||
|
||||
3D printed tool, closed, with needle poking through it
|
||||
|
||||
3D printed tool, opened, with the sheet with sewing holes visible still in it
|
||||
|
||||
Here you can see all of the eight sheets with sewing holes.
|
||||
|
||||
All eight sheets with illustrations ready for sewing
|
||||
|
||||
Fun fact, I designed all 3D parts using JavaScript and [43]Replicad library.
|
||||
Here is [44]a link if you want to play with the model in your browser.
|
||||
|
||||
[45]Application showing code and the 3D model
|
||||
|
||||
But I ditched the 3D printed spine and used the technique called pamphlet
|
||||
stitch, which works great when you have only two signatures. It made signatures
|
||||
way more tight than when I connected them separately to the 3D printed spine.
|
||||
|
||||
Two book signatures sewn together using pamphlet stich
|
||||
|
||||
Two book signatures opened at the exact point where they meet
|
||||
|
||||
Glue arrived[46] #
|
||||
|
||||
When the glue arrived, I plotted everything again and took it from the top. I
|
||||
swapped 3D printed sides for cardboard. Using proper glue was a game changer. I
|
||||
had enough time to apply it before it hardened, and when it dried it stayed
|
||||
flexible. And when it got onto my fingers, it was easy to remove. Everything
|
||||
was much cleaner, and I finally managed to put it all together.
|
||||
|
||||
Unfortunately, I was rushing to finish the book, so I didn't take any photos of
|
||||
the process. But here are a few I do have:
|
||||
|
||||
Cardboard sides laid out in the bookbinding canvas
|
||||
|
||||
If you are an experienced bookbinder and reading this, I'm sorry for the
|
||||
bookbinding crimes I probably committed. I promise I won't use super glue
|
||||
again.
|
||||
|
||||
The finished book[47] #
|
||||
|
||||
It looked great! It was not perfect (more on that below), but I was super happy
|
||||
with how it turned out. It had a distinct handcrafted feel to it, the images
|
||||
turned out fantastic, and I think I really managed to bring out a personal
|
||||
touch with it.
|
||||
|
||||
On the day I finished the book and gave it to my wife, we were both exhausted
|
||||
(our kid was teething, and we had a very rough night), so I thought she would
|
||||
appreciate a little pick-me-up.
|
||||
|
||||
Book opened on the table showing the illustration of the family walking in the
|
||||
forrest
|
||||
|
||||
When I gave it to her, the first thing she asked was, "Will I cry?". She was
|
||||
brave, but it definitely got her all mushy and made her day. After reading, she
|
||||
carefully put it on the shelf, out of the reach of the little one.
|
||||
|
||||
Then I asked her if she ever suspected I was preparing a surprise for her, and
|
||||
she said that she had no idea. But she also said that she thought it was weird
|
||||
that I would often plot something and not brag about it to her afterwards. It
|
||||
was true, I love showing her my work, but luckily she didn't give it too much
|
||||
thought, and I was able to finish my secret project.
|
||||
|
||||
Book opened on the table showing the illustration of Link from The Legend of
|
||||
Zelda
|
||||
|
||||
One thing I would like to fix[48] #
|
||||
|
||||
Like I mentioned, the book isn't perfect. The sides are a bit too large, so the
|
||||
pages seem too deep inside when the book is closed. For the same reason, the
|
||||
end pages turned out to be a bit short, which gives it a weird, uneven look. It
|
||||
is purely aesthetic, but I think it is the only thing keeping it from being
|
||||
perfect.
|
||||
|
||||
Lesson learned if I ever end up doing something similar.
|
||||
|
||||
Timeline[49] #
|
||||
|
||||
It took way longer than it should have—it took me a month and a half to finish
|
||||
it. It took so long because I did it in secrecy, which meant working late in
|
||||
the evenings when my wife and kid were asleep. A bunch of little failures...
|
||||
ehm, I mean learning opportunities also prolonged the project. And finally, I
|
||||
had to order multiple things, so I was blocked a few times while I was waiting
|
||||
for four different deliveries.
|
||||
|
||||
But the final assembly took me around two and a half hours from start to finish
|
||||
- plotting, cutting, sewing, and bookbinding. Mostly because I had already
|
||||
practiced all of them and defined the exact process.
|
||||
|
||||
Conclusion[50] #
|
||||
|
||||
It was so much fun. I love projects that span across multiple disciplines. This
|
||||
one touched AI, drawing, plotting, modeling, 3D printing, sewing, and
|
||||
bookbinding. I encountered a lot of little hiccups, but I also learned about
|
||||
all of them. Some of the errors I made could have been avoided if I had been
|
||||
more patient. But I hope you'll cut me some slack - I was super excited and
|
||||
eager to see how it would turn out, and I had limited time windows when I could
|
||||
do it in secrecy. Still, I need to take it as a lesson - being patient will
|
||||
help me save time when doing projects like this one.
|
||||
|
||||
The highlight for me was that I could do it without an illustrator. Love it or
|
||||
hate it, AI ended up being a fantastic tool that filled the gap in my skill
|
||||
set, which was crucial for making the book.
|
||||
|
||||
I hope you enjoyed this write-up as much as I enjoyed making the book and
|
||||
writing the post. And I do hope I inspired you to try making something of your
|
||||
own. If I did, please reach out on GitHub, I would love to see it.
|
||||
|
||||
Share on:
|
||||
[51] [52] [53] [54]
|
||||
|
||||
Related Posts
|
||||
|
||||
[55]
|
||||
Letters from Sarajevo
|
||||
26. March 2020
|
||||
[56]
|
||||
Bunny jumps again
|
||||
23. February 2025
|
||||
[57]
|
||||
Custom giraffe caret
|
||||
20. June 2023
|
||||
[58] RSS Feed
|
||||
[59]
|
||||
|
||||
© 2016-2025. All rights reserved.
|
||||
|
||||
Written with ♡ by Stanko Tadić.
|
||||
[60]Home/[61] Art /[62] Blog /[63] Projects /[64] About /[65] Stats /Search
|
||||
|
||||
Menu and search
|
||||
|
||||
[67]
|
||||
Search[69][ ]
|
||||
[70] Art [71] Blog [72] Projects [73] About [74] Stats [75] RSS Feed [76]
|
||||
GitHub
|
||||
|
||||
References:
|
||||
|
||||
[1] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#content
|
||||
[2] https://muffinman.io/
|
||||
[4] https://muffinman.io/art/
|
||||
[5] https://muffinman.io/blog/
|
||||
[6] https://muffinman.io/projects/
|
||||
[7] https://muffinman.io/about/
|
||||
[8] https://muffinman.io/stats/
|
||||
[12] https://muffinman.io/archive/#random
|
||||
[13] https://muffinman.io/img/tiny-book/the-book-02.jpg
|
||||
[14] https://muffinman.io/img/tiny-book/the-book-03.jpg
|
||||
[15] https://muffinman.io/img/tiny-book/the-book-04.jpg
|
||||
[16] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#the-idea
|
||||
[17] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#drawings
|
||||
[18] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#text
|
||||
[19] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#plotting
|
||||
[20] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#bookbinding
|
||||
[21] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#the-finished-book
|
||||
[22] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#timeline
|
||||
[23] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#conclusion
|
||||
[24] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#the-idea
|
||||
[25] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#drawings
|
||||
[26] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#midjourney
|
||||
[27] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#prompting
|
||||
[28] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#ai-to-plotter
|
||||
[29] https://www.instagram.com/p/CNJ_ZBOHZKj/
|
||||
[30] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#what-makes-centerline-tracing-different
|
||||
[31] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#cleaning-up
|
||||
[32] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#final-image-flow
|
||||
[33] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#never-stood-a-chance
|
||||
[34] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#text
|
||||
[35] https://wiki.evilmadscientist.com/Hershey_Text
|
||||
[36] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#plotting
|
||||
[37] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#technical-pen-to-the-rescue
|
||||
[38] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#smudged-drawings
|
||||
[39] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#bookbinding
|
||||
[40] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kA2bjvOAzGw
|
||||
[41] https://www.rokolee.com/diy-miniature-hardback-book
|
||||
[42] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#sewing-the-pages
|
||||
[43] https://replicad.xyz/
|
||||
[44] https://studio.replicad.xyz/workbench?from-url=https://muffinman.io/img/tiny-book/model.js
|
||||
[45] https://studio.replicad.xyz/workbench?from-url=https://muffinman.io/img/tiny-book/model.js
|
||||
[46] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#glue-arrived
|
||||
[47] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#the-finished-book
|
||||
[48] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#one-thing-i-would-like-to-fix
|
||||
[49] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#timeline
|
||||
[50] https://muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/#conclusion
|
||||
[51] http://news.ycombinator.com/submitlink?u=https%3A//muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/&t=The%20Tiny%20Book%20%20of%20Great%20Joys
|
||||
[52] http://twitter.com/share?text=The%20Tiny%20Book%20%20of%20Great%20Joys&url=https%3A//muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/
|
||||
[53] https://bsky.app/intent/compose?text=The%20Tiny%20Book%20%20of%20Great%20Joys%20https%3A//muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/
|
||||
[54] http://www.reddit.com/submit?url=https%3A//muffinman.io/blog/the-tiny-book-of-great-joys/&title=The%20Tiny%20Book%20%20of%20Great%20Joys
|
||||
[55] https://muffinman.io/blog/letters-from-sarajevo/
|
||||
[56] https://muffinman.io/blog/bunny-jumps-again/
|
||||
[57] https://muffinman.io/blog/custom-giraffe-caret/
|
||||
[58] https://muffinman.io/atom.xml
|
||||
[59] https://muffinman.io/
|
||||
[60] https://muffinman.io/
|
||||
[61] https://muffinman.io/art/
|
||||
[62] https://muffinman.io/blog/
|
||||
[63] https://muffinman.io/projects/
|
||||
[64] https://muffinman.io/about/
|
||||
[65] https://muffinman.io/stats/
|
||||
[67] https://muffinman.io/
|
||||
[70] https://muffinman.io/art/
|
||||
[71] https://muffinman.io/blog/
|
||||
[72] https://muffinman.io/projects/
|
||||
[73] https://muffinman.io/about/
|
||||
[74] https://muffinman.io/stats/
|
||||
[75] https://muffinman.io/atom.xml
|
||||
[76] https://github.com/stanko/
|
||||
358
static/archive/nshipster-com-b3vpys.txt
Normal file
358
static/archive/nshipster-com-b3vpys.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,358 @@
|
||||
[1]
|
||||
|
||||
[2]Ollama
|
||||
|
||||
Written by [3]Mattt February 14^th, 2025
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
“Only Apple can do this” Variously attributed to Tim Cook
|
||||
|
||||
Apple introduced [4]Apple Intelligence at WWDC 2024. After waiting almost a
|
||||
year for Apple to, in Craig Federighi’s words, “get it right”, its promise of
|
||||
“AI for the rest of us” feels just as distant as ever.
|
||||
|
||||
Can we take a moment to appreciate the name? Apple Intelligence. AI. That’s
|
||||
some S-tier semantic appropriation. On the level of jumping on “podcast” before
|
||||
anyone knew what else to call that.
|
||||
|
||||
While we wait for Apple Intelligence to arrive on our devices, something
|
||||
remarkable is already running on our Macs. Think of it as a locavore approach
|
||||
to artificial intelligence: homegrown, sustainable, and available year-round.
|
||||
|
||||
This week on NSHipster, we’ll look at how you can use Ollama to run LLMs
|
||||
locally on your Mac — both as an end-user and as a developer.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
[5]What is Ollama?
|
||||
|
||||
Ollama is the easiest way to run large language models on your Mac. You can
|
||||
think of it as “Docker for LLMs” - a way to pull, run, and manage AI models as
|
||||
easily as containers.
|
||||
|
||||
Download Ollama with [6]Homebrew or directly from [7]their website. Then pull
|
||||
and run [8]llama3.2 (2GB).
|
||||
|
||||
$ brew install --cask ollama
|
||||
$ ollama run llama3.2
|
||||
>>> Tell me a joke about Swift programming.
|
||||
What's a Apple developer's favorite drink?
|
||||
The Kool-Aid.
|
||||
|
||||
Under the hood, Ollama is powered by [9]llama.cpp. But where llama.cpp provides
|
||||
the engine, Ollama gives you a vehicle you’d actually want to drive — handling
|
||||
all the complexity of model management, optimization, and inference.
|
||||
|
||||
Similar to how Dockerfiles define container images, Ollama uses Modelfiles to
|
||||
configure model behavior:
|
||||
|
||||
FROM mistral:latest
|
||||
PARAMETER temperature 0.7
|
||||
TEMPLATE """
|
||||
You are a helpful assistant.
|
||||
|
||||
User:
|
||||
Assistant: """
|
||||
|
||||
Ollama uses the [10]Open Container Initiative (OCI) standard to distribute
|
||||
models. Each model is split into layers and described by a manifest, the same
|
||||
approach used by Docker containers:
|
||||
|
||||
{
|
||||
"mediaType": "application/vnd.oci.image.manifest.v1+json",
|
||||
"config": {
|
||||
"mediaType": "application/vnd.ollama.image.config.v1+json",
|
||||
"digest": "sha256:..."
|
||||
},
|
||||
"layers": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"mediaType": "application/vnd.ollama.image.layer.v1+json",
|
||||
"digest": "sha256:...",
|
||||
"size": 4019248935
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
Overall, Ollama’s approach is thoughtful and well-engineered. And best of all,
|
||||
it just works.
|
||||
|
||||
[11]What’s the big deal about running models locally?
|
||||
|
||||
[12]Jevons paradox states that, as something becomes more efficient, we tend to
|
||||
use more of it, not less.
|
||||
|
||||
Having AI on your own device changes everything. When computation becomes
|
||||
essentially free, you start to see intelligence differently.
|
||||
|
||||
While frontier models like GPT-4 and Claude are undeniably miraculous, there’s
|
||||
something to be said for the small miracle of running open models locally.
|
||||
|
||||
• Privacy: Your data never leaves your device. Essential for working with
|
||||
sensitive information.
|
||||
• Cost: Run 24/7 without usage meters ticking. No more rationing prompts like
|
||||
’90s cell phone minutes. Just a fixed, up-front cost for unlimited
|
||||
inference.
|
||||
• Latency: No network round-trips means faster responses. Your /M\d Mac((Book
|
||||
( Pro| Air)?)|Mini|Studio)/ can easily generate dozens of tokens per
|
||||
second. (Try to keep up!)
|
||||
• Control: No black-box [13]RLHF or censorship. The AI works for you, not the
|
||||
other way around.
|
||||
• Reliability: No outages or API quota limits. 100% uptime for your [14]
|
||||
exocortex. Like having Wikipedia on a thumb drive.
|
||||
|
||||
[15]Building macOS Apps with Ollama
|
||||
|
||||
Ollama also exposes an [16]HTTP API on port 11431 ([17]leetspeak for llama 🦙).
|
||||
This makes it easy to integrate with any programming language or tool.
|
||||
|
||||
To that end, we’ve created the [18]Ollama Swift package to help developers
|
||||
integrate Ollama into their apps.
|
||||
|
||||
[19]Text Completions
|
||||
|
||||
The simplest way to use a language model is to generate text from a prompt:
|
||||
|
||||
import Ollama
|
||||
|
||||
let client = Client.default
|
||||
let response = try await client.generate(
|
||||
model: "llama3.2",
|
||||
prompt: "Tell me a joke about Swift programming.",
|
||||
options: ["temperature": 0.7]
|
||||
)
|
||||
print(response.response)
|
||||
// How many Apple engineers does it take to document an API?
|
||||
// None - that's what WWDC videos are for.
|
||||
|
||||
[20]Chat Completions
|
||||
|
||||
For more structured interactions, you can use the chat API to maintain a
|
||||
conversation with multiple messages and different roles:
|
||||
|
||||
let initialResponse = try await client.chat(
|
||||
model: "llama3.2",
|
||||
messages: [
|
||||
.system("You are a helpful assistant."),
|
||||
.user("What city is Apple located in?")
|
||||
]
|
||||
)
|
||||
print(initialResponse.message.content)
|
||||
// Apple's headquarters, known as the Apple Park campus, is located in Cupertino, California.
|
||||
// The company was originally founded in Los Altos, California, and later moved to Cupertino in 1997.
|
||||
|
||||
let followUp = try await client.chat(
|
||||
model: "llama3.2",
|
||||
messages: [
|
||||
.system("You are a helpful assistant."),
|
||||
.user("What city is Apple located in?"),
|
||||
.assistant(initialResponse.message.content),
|
||||
.user("Please summarize in a single word")
|
||||
]
|
||||
)
|
||||
print(followUp.message.content)
|
||||
// Cupertino
|
||||
|
||||
[21]Generating text embeddings
|
||||
|
||||
[22]Embeddings convert text into high-dimensional vectors that capture semantic
|
||||
meaning. These vectors can be used to find similar content or perform semantic
|
||||
search.
|
||||
|
||||
For example, if you wanted to find documents similar to a user’s query:
|
||||
|
||||
let documents: [String] = …
|
||||
|
||||
// Convert text into vectors we can compare for similarity
|
||||
let embeddings = try await client.embeddings(
|
||||
model: "nomic-embed-text",
|
||||
texts: documents
|
||||
)
|
||||
|
||||
/// Finds relevant documents
|
||||
func findRelevantDocuments(
|
||||
for query: String,
|
||||
threshold: Float = 0.7, // cutoff for matching, tunable
|
||||
limit: Int = 5
|
||||
) async throws -> [String] {
|
||||
// Get embedding for the query
|
||||
let [queryEmbedding] = try await client.embeddings(
|
||||
model: "llama3.2",
|
||||
texts: [query]
|
||||
)
|
||||
|
||||
// See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosine_similarity
|
||||
func cosineSimilarity(_ a: [Float], _ b: [Float]) -> Float {
|
||||
let dotProduct = zip(a, b).map(*).reduce(0, +)
|
||||
let magnitude = { sqrt($0.map { $0 * $0 }.reduce(0, +)) }
|
||||
return dotProduct / (magnitude(a) * magnitude(b))
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
// Find documents above similarity threshold
|
||||
let rankedDocuments = zip(embeddings, documents)
|
||||
.map { embedding, document in
|
||||
(similarity: cosineSimilarity(embedding, queryEmbedding),
|
||||
document: document)
|
||||
}
|
||||
.filter { $0.similarity >= threshold }
|
||||
.sorted { $0.similarity > $1.similarity }
|
||||
.prefix(limit)
|
||||
|
||||
return rankedDocuments.map(\.document)
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
For simple use cases, you can also use Apple’s [23]Natural Language framework
|
||||
for text embeddings. They’re fast and don’t require additional dependencies.
|
||||
|
||||
import NaturalLanguage
|
||||
|
||||
let embedding = NLEmbedding.wordEmbedding(for: .english)
|
||||
let vector = embedding?.vector(for: "swift")
|
||||
|
||||
[24]Building a RAG System
|
||||
|
||||
Embeddings really shine when combined with text generation in a RAG (Retrieval
|
||||
Augmented Generation) workflow. Instead of asking the model to generate
|
||||
information from its training data, we can ground its responses in our own
|
||||
documents by:
|
||||
|
||||
1. Converting documents into embeddings
|
||||
2. Finding relevant documents based on the query
|
||||
3. Using those documents as context for generation
|
||||
|
||||
Here’s a simple example:
|
||||
|
||||
let query = "What were AAPL's earnings in Q3 2024?"
|
||||
let relevantDocs = try await findRelevantDocuments(query: query)
|
||||
let context = """
|
||||
Use the following documents to answer the question.
|
||||
If the answer isn't contained in the documents, say so.
|
||||
|
||||
Documents:
|
||||
\(relevantDocs.joined(separator: "\n---\n"))
|
||||
|
||||
Question: \(query)
|
||||
"""
|
||||
|
||||
let response = try await client.generate(
|
||||
model: "llama3.2",
|
||||
prompt: context
|
||||
)
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
To summarize: Different models have different capabilities.
|
||||
|
||||
• Models like [25]llama3.2 and [26]deepseek-r1 generate text.
|
||||
□ Some text models have “base” or “instruct” variants, suitable for
|
||||
fine-tuning or chat completion, respectively.
|
||||
□ Some text models are tuned to support [27]tool use, which let them
|
||||
perform more complex tasks and interact with the outside world.
|
||||
• Models like [28]llama3.2-vision can take images along with text as inputs.
|
||||
|
||||
• Models like [29]nomic-embed-text create numerical vectors that capture
|
||||
semantic meaning.
|
||||
|
||||
With Ollama, you get unlimited access to a wealth of these and many more
|
||||
open-source language models.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
So, what can you build with all of this?
|
||||
Here’s just one example:
|
||||
|
||||
[30]Nominate.app
|
||||
|
||||
[31]Nominate is a macOS app that uses Ollama to intelligently rename PDF files
|
||||
based on their contents.
|
||||
|
||||
Like many of us striving for a paperless lifestyle, you might find yourself
|
||||
scanning documents only to end up with cryptically-named PDFs like
|
||||
Scan2025-02-03_123456.pdf. Nominate solves this by combining AI with
|
||||
traditional NLP techniques to automatically generate descriptive filenames
|
||||
based on document contents.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
The app leverages several technologies we’ve discussed:
|
||||
|
||||
• Ollama’s API for content analysis via the ollama-swift package
|
||||
• Apple’s PDFKit for OCR
|
||||
• The Natural Language framework for text processing
|
||||
• Foundation’s DateFormatter for parsing dates
|
||||
|
||||
Nominate performs all processing locally. Your documents never leave your
|
||||
computer. This is a key advantage of running models locally versus using cloud
|
||||
APIs.
|
||||
|
||||
[32]Looking Ahead
|
||||
|
||||
“The future is already here – it’s just not evenly distributed yet.”
|
||||
William Gibson
|
||||
|
||||
Think about the timelines:
|
||||
|
||||
• Apple Intelligence was announced last year.
|
||||
• Swift came out 10 years ago.
|
||||
• SwiftUI 6 years ago.
|
||||
|
||||
If you wait for Apple to deliver on its promises, you’re going to miss out on
|
||||
the most important technological shift in a generation.
|
||||
|
||||
The future is here today. You don’t have to wait. With Ollama, you can start
|
||||
building the next generation of AI-powered apps right now.
|
||||
|
||||
NSMutableHipster
|
||||
|
||||
Questions? Corrections? [33]Issues and [34]pull requests are always welcome.
|
||||
|
||||
This article uses Swift version 6.0. Find status information for all articles
|
||||
on the [35]status page.
|
||||
|
||||
Written by Mattt
|
||||
[36]Mattt
|
||||
|
||||
[37]Mattt ([38]@mattt) is a writer and developer in Portland, Oregon.
|
||||
|
||||
🅭 🅯 🄏 NSHipster.com is released under a [39]Creative Commons BY-NC License.
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
References:
|
||||
|
||||
[1] https://nshipster.com/
|
||||
[2] https://nshipster.com/ollama/
|
||||
[3] https://nshipster.com/authors/mattt/
|
||||
[4] https://www.apple.com/apple-intelligence/
|
||||
[5] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#what-is-ollama
|
||||
[6] https://brew.sh/
|
||||
[7] https://ollama.com/download
|
||||
[8] https://ollama.com/library/llama3.2
|
||||
[9] https://github.com/ggerganov/llama.cpp
|
||||
[10] https://opencontainers.org/
|
||||
[11] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#whats-the-big-deal-about-running-models-locally
|
||||
[12] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jevons_paradox
|
||||
[13] https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2546581-shoggoth-with-smiley-face-artificial-intelligence
|
||||
[14] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/exocortex
|
||||
[15] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#building-macos-apps-with-ollama
|
||||
[16] https://github.com/ollama/ollama/blob/main/docs/api.md
|
||||
[17] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet
|
||||
[18] https://github.com/mattt/ollama-swift
|
||||
[19] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#text-completions
|
||||
[20] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#chat-completions
|
||||
[21] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#generating-text-embeddings
|
||||
[22] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word_embedding
|
||||
[23] https://developer.apple.com/documentation/naturallanguage/
|
||||
[24] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#building-a-rag-system
|
||||
[25] https://ollama.com/library/llama3.2
|
||||
[26] https://ollama.com/library/deepseek-r1
|
||||
[27] https://ollama.com/blog/tool-support
|
||||
[28] https://ollama.com/library/llama3.2-vision
|
||||
[29] https://ollama.com/library/nomic-embed-text
|
||||
[30] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#nominateapp
|
||||
[31] https://github.com/nshipster/nominate
|
||||
[32] https://nshipster.com/ollama/#looking-ahead
|
||||
[33] https://github.com/NSHipster/articles/issues
|
||||
[34] https://github.com/NSHipster/articles/blob/master/2025-02-14-ollama.md
|
||||
[35] https://nshipster.com/status/
|
||||
[36] https://nshipster.com/authors/mattt/
|
||||
[37] https://github.com/mattt
|
||||
[38] https://twitter.com/mattt
|
||||
[39] https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/
|
||||
588
static/archive/prayash-io-vrlx4z.txt
Normal file
588
static/archive/prayash-io-vrlx4z.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,588 @@
|
||||
[1]
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
prayash.ioprayash.io
|
||||
|
||||
[2]home[3]journal[4]software[5]music[6]feed[7]about
|
||||
|
||||
A Taste of Vanlife
|
||||
|
||||
May 31, 2024
|
||||
|
||||
Camping has always been one of my favorite hobbies, but I've always wondered
|
||||
what life might be like on four wheels. It's difficult to think about living on
|
||||
the road indefinitely—and understandably so. I'm not really into the idea of
|
||||
getting rid of all of my posessions and living out of a van, constantly on the
|
||||
move. But surely, there's a way to try out that lifestyle without making such a
|
||||
drastic commitment?
|
||||
|
||||
Years ago, my wife and I set a plan in motion: to save enough money to take a
|
||||
year off from work, travel the world, and immerse ourselves in our personal
|
||||
passions. This adventure seemed like the perfect starting point for that dream.
|
||||
I've shared more about that thought process in [8]Reflections from Apple.
|
||||
|
||||
After some research, we decided to rent a fully equipped Sprinter van from a
|
||||
private owner through Outdoorsy. It felt like the ideal middle ground—no
|
||||
permanent commitment, but still a chance to experience van life firsthand.
|
||||
Plus, we've been wanting to spend a lot more time playing outside lately. Our
|
||||
goal was simple: to explore the iconic national parks of the western United
|
||||
States, with a touch of the Canadian Rockies for good measure. Below is an
|
||||
illustration of the route we took.
|
||||
|
||||
Vanlife Expedition Map
|
||||
|
||||
We took a few days to prepare ourselves, picked up our van, loaded it with
|
||||
every supply we could think of, and set off on an epic roadtrip—one which we
|
||||
knew we'll remember for the rest of our lives.
|
||||
|
||||
This post will be a photoset with words interspersed in-between. My hope is
|
||||
that it will inspire you to go on an adventure like this of your own. I'll try
|
||||
to share all the spots we camped at, the hikes we tackled, and some general
|
||||
observations about life in a van. It'll be a fun one.
|
||||
|
||||
Joshua Tree
|
||||
|
||||
Our adventure started 8 hours south of the Bay Area in the desert. We arrived
|
||||
late in the night at [9]Indian Cove Campground, which is just outside of Joshua
|
||||
Tree National Park. The night sky was cluttered with stars, and temperatures
|
||||
were perfect.
|
||||
|
||||
Mercedes Sprinter Van at JoshuaTree
|
||||
Mercedes Sprinter Van at Joshua Tree atNight
|
||||
|
||||
We took our time and leisurely hiked around some popular trails in the park
|
||||
like Arch Rock and Cholla Cactus Garden.
|
||||
|
||||
Pallu CactusPhotoshoot
|
||||
Cholla Cactus Garden at JoshuaTree
|
||||
Prayash next tocactus
|
||||
|
||||
Even in the blistering sun, the views were excellent. Joshua Tree's landscape
|
||||
is so unique.
|
||||
|
||||
Pallavi staring at a JoshuaTree
|
||||
Pallavi admiring a field ofrocks
|
||||
|
||||
Getting to cook lunch right next to these prime spots was such a fun
|
||||
experience. Pallavi got a sneak peek of her dreams of owning her own food truck
|
||||
and letting happy customers pick off food from the countertop.
|
||||
|
||||
Pallavi lunchsession
|
||||
food truckcustomer
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Alabama Hills
|
||||
|
||||
After a short 4 hour drive, we arrived at [10]Tuttle Creek Campground, an
|
||||
incredible first-come-first-serve campground right along the Eastern Sierra. We
|
||||
typically prefer first come first serve because reservations are always so
|
||||
difficult to grab, but the anxiety of not knowing where exactly you'll spend
|
||||
the night can be daunting. That risk, sometimes, is so worth it because it
|
||||
leads you to some incredible campgrounds that you may not have run into
|
||||
otherwise. We could not believe that our view was this good. It felt like a
|
||||
postcard moment.
|
||||
|
||||
Mercedes Sprinter Van Alabama HillsCampground
|
||||
|
||||
As the sun started to descend behind the mountains, we prepped for dinner and
|
||||
just enjoyed the view in front of us. As per usual, Pallavi cooked up a storm,
|
||||
so we ate like royalty. Pictured is Nepali style stir-fried chicken and veggies
|
||||
with pickled radish and beaten rice.
|
||||
|
||||
Dinner Alabama HillsCampground
|
||||
Chureito Pagoda BlueHour
|
||||
|
||||
The next morning, we got up early to catch the sunrise at [11]Movie Road. There
|
||||
were some road closures which prevented us from being able to drive the van
|
||||
there, so we just stopped on the side of the road to get a good look at Mt.
|
||||
Whitney and friends light up at dawn.
|
||||
|
||||
Chureito Pagoda BlueHour
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
|
||||
We headed back to the campsite and decided to spend the afternoon lounging
|
||||
around, playing music, and relaxing. Then, we headed off to our next campsite
|
||||
in Death Valley.
|
||||
|
||||
Death Valley
|
||||
|
||||
Things got real interesting and fun as we drove the van towards one of the most
|
||||
remote campsites within Death Valley: [12]Eureka Dunes. The road to get to camp
|
||||
was a grueling 30 miles of washboard roads. We drove the van at a soul-crushing
|
||||
8 MPH because of how rough the roads were. At times, it felt the van was going
|
||||
to topple because of how bumpy it got. All of the cabinetry and fixtures within
|
||||
the van were rattling – not a good sign, but we were already too far in to turn
|
||||
back.
|
||||
|
||||
It was a vast, desert landscape. Not a single soul in sight. No cell service.
|
||||
No gas station or water source nearby. It is the most remote we've ever been,
|
||||
and quite frankly, we were a little nervous at first. Pallavi patiently drove
|
||||
us through this one while I was busy capturing the moment through my camera,
|
||||
sometimes even running out of the van to get that long telephoto shot from far
|
||||
away – all in an attempt to capture just how vast of a landscape it was, and
|
||||
how little and alone we were.
|
||||
|
||||
Chureito Pagoda Blue Hour
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taisha Torii
|
||||
Sake barrels at Meiji Jingu
|
||||
|
||||
The silence of the landscape helped us calm our nerves as we eventually made it
|
||||
to the campsite. No one was there, and it was just a patch of dirt with a
|
||||
handful of fire pits. We parked the van right in front of the formidable Eureka
|
||||
Dunes, and I quickly ran out to snap a photo before we set off on the hike up
|
||||
to the top of the dunes. It was peak golden hour time.
|
||||
|
||||
Chureito Pagoda BlueHour
|
||||
|
||||
The deception of the dunes quickly became obvious. The summit was miles farther
|
||||
than we initially estimated with lots of false summits to lead you on. The
|
||||
winds were blistering, and you could feel a billion particles of sand flying
|
||||
into every inch of your body at piercing speeds. It was a rough hike, but there
|
||||
was so much beauty to be taken in there. Perhaps the most aggresive blend of
|
||||
peace and chaos I've experienced.
|
||||
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
Chureito Pagoda BlueHour
|
||||
|
||||
We couldn't climb to the top because it was so windy and painful. Walking along
|
||||
the ridge of the dune was difficult in such harsh winds. The sky dusked and it
|
||||
was no longer to safe to continue hiking through sandbowls. We set back for
|
||||
camp for a nice dinner. Content that we could enjoy the rest of the night in
|
||||
solitude. A couple campers arrived later in the night so we didn't end up being
|
||||
all alone at the end, which was a comforting thought.
|
||||
|
||||
The next morning, we decide to give the dunes another shot. Conditions looked
|
||||
favorable wind-wise, but temperatures were already in the 90s well before the
|
||||
sun reached its zenith. We trekked back up the ridgeline of the dune to get
|
||||
another good look at the dunes that were hiding beyond. We didn't get to see it
|
||||
under golden light like the evening before, but it was still epic.
|
||||
|
||||
Death Valley EurekaDunes
|
||||
Death Valley EurekaDunes
|
||||
Death Valley EurekaDunes
|
||||
|
||||
To get out of Eureka Dunes and onto the rest of the park, it was another
|
||||
soul-crushing 40 miles of washboard. We made it out in tip-top shape many hours
|
||||
later, and the road led us straight to pavement and onto [13]Ubehebe Crater.
|
||||
The mid-day sun was blistering, but we ventured out of the confines of our air
|
||||
conditioned van to get a good glimpse of it anyway.
|
||||
|
||||
Ubehebe Crater Mid-DaySun
|
||||
|
||||
Moving on. [14]Dante's View and [15]Zabriskie Point were straight out of
|
||||
another planet. The polychrome mountains definitely give off Iceland vibes.
|
||||
There's no comparison, of course. But it's cool that the US has some alien-like
|
||||
landscapes too.
|
||||
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
|
||||
We headed back for camp at [16]Mesquite Spring Campground around sunset. The
|
||||
night sky was incredible, and the galactic center was clearly visible to the
|
||||
naked eye. At 2am, we got out of the van to get a good look at the Milky Way.
|
||||
Truly a core memory.
|
||||
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
|
||||
The next morning, we did our usual business – emptying out the grey water tank,
|
||||
filling up with fresh water, and emptying the septic tank. All necessary chores
|
||||
for van survival! We made a quick stop at [17]Artist's Palette. Pallavi whipped
|
||||
up a delicious bowl of noodles and eggs.
|
||||
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
|
||||
We then headed off to the Utah-Arizona border, ending the evening at [18]White
|
||||
House Campground.
|
||||
|
||||
Antelope Canyon
|
||||
|
||||
The following morning, a Navajo-led tour of Lower Antelope Canyon was on the
|
||||
books. It was a fascinating lesson with geology and history intertwined.
|
||||
Snapping photos in the canyon is a fun exercise for the discerning artist, as
|
||||
you must carefully frame your shot in an ocean of contours.
|
||||
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taishaTorii
|
||||
Sake barrels at MeijiJingu
|
||||
|
||||
It was too windy to kayak through the canyons, so for the rest of the
|
||||
afternoon, we spent lounging at a [19]viewpoint above Lake Powell, where I
|
||||
captured this 5-image panorama of the vista.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsPanorama
|
||||
|
||||
Pallavi spent time writing on her journal while I lost myself on the little
|
||||
Martin guitar. Nothing is finer than playing music in nature.
|
||||
|
||||
Pallavi lounging in the van at Lake Powell
|
||||
Prayash at Lake Powell
|
||||
Fushimi Inari-taisha Torii
|
||||
Sake barrels at Meiji Jingu
|
||||
|
||||
Once we had recharged our batteries, we decided to catch the sunset at
|
||||
Horseshoe Bend. Being one of the most photographed spots in the world, it was
|
||||
no surprise that this would be a fantastic spot to catch last light.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsPanorama
|
||||
|
||||
Once the sun dipped over the horizon, we headed out to Zion to camp for the
|
||||
night.
|
||||
|
||||
Zion
|
||||
|
||||
We had a dispersed campsite that we loved camping at years prior, so we were
|
||||
stoked to revisit the same spot right under [20]Smithsonian Butte.
|
||||
Unfortunately, all of the BLM campsites in that area had been taken out of
|
||||
commission due to excessive noise and trash left by visitors. The locals were
|
||||
rightfully annoyed, so BLM decided to break down all the sites. This is why we
|
||||
can't have nice things (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻.
|
||||
|
||||
I was heartbroken, and stressed out that we now had to hunt for another
|
||||
campsite at midnight when we're already tired. One of my favorite sites was no
|
||||
more, but here's how it looked years ago when we camped there for my birthday.
|
||||
I'll share a photo of that instead.
|
||||
|
||||
Prayash at LakePowell
|
||||
|
||||
Anyway, we decided to just grab a vacant lot at a nearby RV park because it was
|
||||
too late to hunt around for a campsite. The next morning, we headed straight
|
||||
for Angel's Landing.
|
||||
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
Canyonlands Panorama
|
||||
|
||||
It wasn't as scary as the ultra wide-angle videos on YouTube make it seem. The
|
||||
exposure definitely sends chills down your spine, but there were plenty of
|
||||
guardrails and chains to hold onto the entire way. Views of the entire Zion
|
||||
Canyon were fantastic and we enjoyed one of our favorite snacks, Kurkure, at
|
||||
the top.
|
||||
|
||||
Canyonlands Panorama
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
Canyonlands Candlestick Tower
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
Canyonlands Candlestick Tower
|
||||
Canyonlands Panorama
|
||||
|
||||
We hastily rushed over to Bryce Canyon to spend the next couple of nights
|
||||
there.
|
||||
|
||||
Bryce Canyon
|
||||
|
||||
Catching the sunrise at Bryce Canyon is one of the most magical things I've
|
||||
ever experienced. It's a small park, but undeniably unique because of its
|
||||
hoodoos. How magical it would be to see these features in their snowcapped
|
||||
state, but I'll settle for an orange burst this time. And yet again, we're
|
||||
humbled by the beauty of this planet.
|
||||
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
CanyonlandsPanorama
|
||||
CanyonlandsPanorama
|
||||
|
||||
The serene morning gradually transitioned to a fabulous breakfast and coffee at
|
||||
the van. Pallavi got her morning yoga session in while I brewed coffee.
|
||||
Self-care can be done even during busy periods of travel, folks! We took the
|
||||
day slowly with a couple day hikes. A long day of walking is much more
|
||||
preferable than a long day of driving.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsHike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
CanyonlandsPanorama
|
||||
|
||||
We hiked the Navajo Loop trail and decided to end the night with a little jam
|
||||
session by the campfire — a small cover of Junkeri by Bipul Chettri. A
|
||||
beautifully poignant Nepali folk song. [21]You can watch our cover video here.
|
||||
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Canyonlands
|
||||
|
||||
The epic Utah excursion continues through Canyonlands, where we stared at the
|
||||
vast abyss of Utah's desert in all directions. Striking rock formations and
|
||||
atmospheric haze above the canyons and ravines. Utah is a place like no other.
|
||||
We parked the van and lounged all day.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsCanyon
|
||||
Canyonlands VanView
|
||||
|
||||
As a result of lazily lounging around, it was a nice balance to spend the next
|
||||
day hiking.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsHike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
CanyonlandsPanorama
|
||||
|
||||
A visit to Canyonlands must always be accompanied by a visit to Arches.
|
||||
|
||||
Arches
|
||||
|
||||
Arches has some absolutely epic structures, and the shifting light of day
|
||||
really lets you appreciate them.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsHike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
|
||||
A quick coffee sesh with a view and a short walk, then we were off to Wyoming.
|
||||
|
||||
Grand Teton
|
||||
|
||||
On the way to the Tetons, we stopped by a farm for some Wyoming skyr. [22]
|
||||
Shumway Farms is run by a kind family man who had all of his children helping
|
||||
him run the farm. Unbelievably rich and fatty yogurt. It was unforgettable.
|
||||
|
||||
CanyonlandsHike
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
Canyonlands CandlestickTower
|
||||
|
||||
We made our way through Jackson Hole by the night and landed at our next
|
||||
campsite at [23]Gros Ventre Campground. After a nutritious stir-fry, we hit the
|
||||
hay early that night.
|
||||
|
||||
My alarm went off at 4:50 AM. Sunrise is at 5:05, and we're 20 minutes away
|
||||
from [24]Schwabacher Landing, a classic sunrise spot for watching the Tetons
|
||||
light up. In a delirious haze, we sped down the highway, took the turnout into
|
||||
the small parking lot and hiked towards the river. At 5:10 AM, the Tetons were
|
||||
beautifully highlighted and side-lit from the rising sun.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb
|
||||
Canyonlands Hike
|
||||
|
||||
I whipped out the coffee grinder the moment we got back to our van for our
|
||||
morning fix.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God'sThumb
|
||||
Oregon Coast God'sThumb
|
||||
|
||||
On our way northbound, the Tetons stared at us relentlessly. So we parked and
|
||||
decided to stare back from the comfort of our van bed while the winds raged
|
||||
outside.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God'sThumb
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Yellowstone
|
||||
|
||||
Upon arriving in Yellowstone, we spent the night at [25]Madison Campground. We
|
||||
visited some of the classics like [26]Old Faithful and [27]Grand Prismatic
|
||||
Spring. There were some truly wonderful textures there to photograph.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Glacier
|
||||
|
||||
The drive through Montana was stunning. It's easy to see why Montana so often
|
||||
ranks as one of America's most beautiful states. It felt like we were in
|
||||
Switzerland at times. Lush, green, and filled with epic mountains. We arrived
|
||||
at Lake Macdonald right in time for blue hour. It was cold and nippy, a much
|
||||
welcome change after all of those desert excursions.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
|
||||
The [28]Avalanche Lake trail was quite nice. Glacier wasn't quite in-season
|
||||
yet, so it was the only accessible trail nearby.
|
||||
|
||||
The mountain pass on Going-to-the-Sun road was closed which meant you couldn't
|
||||
drive to the eastern side without driving back outside of the park and around.
|
||||
So we did exactly that, spending the night at [29]Saint Mary Campground. We
|
||||
cooked and basked under a moonlit mesa.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
|
||||
East Glacier is absolutely epic. The Many Glaciers area in particular was
|
||||
awesome. We did the [30]Grinell Glacier hike, but the end of the trail was
|
||||
closed. We ran into a moose and saw a baby bear rustling around the bushes. It
|
||||
was still a lovely hike, and ended with a ton of rain.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Banff
|
||||
|
||||
Scattered thunderstorms in Banff led to little hiking, but grand views. Most of
|
||||
our time was spent lounging around at different viewpoints, admiring the jagged
|
||||
peaks of the Canadian Rockies. We camped at [31]Lake Louise Campground,
|
||||
spending a full day admiring the peaks from Lake Louise.
|
||||
|
||||
Astoria Town Center
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
|
||||
The next day, we hopped over to [32]Two Jack Lakeside Campground, which put us
|
||||
in close proximity to this excellent lounging [33]viewpoint of Tunnel Mountain
|
||||
Road and a fantastic [34]picnic viewpoint for Lake Minnewanka.
|
||||
|
||||
Astoria Town Center
|
||||
Astoria Town Center
|
||||
Astoria Town Center
|
||||
Astoria Town Center
|
||||
|
||||
A loooong drive southwest through Idaho and Washington, and we ended up on
|
||||
the...
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast
|
||||
|
||||
The ocean, finally! Now we drive straight along the Oregon coastline starting
|
||||
in Astoria. We explored this quaint little coastal town, sampling some seafood
|
||||
and even picked up a cool record at a local vinyl shop called [35]The Lonely
|
||||
Crab.
|
||||
|
||||
Astoria Town Center
|
||||
Astoria Record Shop The LonelyCrab
|
||||
|
||||
We hiked [36]Indian Beach Trail in Ecola State Park, which ended with the
|
||||
perfect lunch with a view of the seastacks, followed by a banger sunset at
|
||||
Cannon Beach.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb Trail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's Thumb
|
||||
|
||||
Further south, we hiked to [37]God's Thumb, which ends at a cliff that juts out
|
||||
into the sea. We lucked out with a beautiful, clear sunset at a place which is
|
||||
notoriously gloomy on most days.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
|
||||
There, we met a lovely couple who were celebrating their wedding anniversary at
|
||||
their first date spot. They were kind enough to snap a photo of us, too.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God'sThumb
|
||||
|
||||
We continued south, heading towards Crater, with plenty of stops to cook and
|
||||
admire the views along the way. [38]Tokeetee Falls was a good one. We stuck
|
||||
through an opening in the boardwalk to get down closer to the waterfall.
|
||||
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
Oregon Coast God's ThumbTrail
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Jedediah Smith Redwoods
|
||||
|
||||
Our final stop, the much revered Redwoods. Some of the oldest growth in the
|
||||
world, so much peace to be found among these titans. [39]Grove of Titans is a
|
||||
highly recommended trail here.
|
||||
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
Astoria TownCenter
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
Fin
|
||||
|
||||
This 1-month long taste of vanlife has been one of the greatest adventures of
|
||||
our lives. We learned so much about ourselves. Many long drives and hikes
|
||||
filled with vibrant conversations—some hard and some easy. It gave us a chance
|
||||
to truly unwind from the stress and responsibilites of daily life.
|
||||
|
||||
Each day followed a simple rhythm: get from point A to point B, cook the best
|
||||
meal we could manage, hike the most rewarding trail, or find the coolest
|
||||
viewpoint. Purpose was easy to find, and that simplicity was liberating. There
|
||||
was no need to think about work, errands, or chores to fill our time. The goal
|
||||
was clear, and it made life feel beautifully uncomplicated.
|
||||
|
||||
It's definitely something we see ourselves doing at another phase of our life,
|
||||
perhaps in 20 years we send off our future children to college. We met many
|
||||
older couples in their 50s and 60s who were doing something similar, and they
|
||||
praised us for taking the leap to do such a thing at a younger phase of our
|
||||
lives.
|
||||
|
||||
The idea of a "mini-retirement" is compelling. Society often pushes the
|
||||
narrative that we must spend all our youth studying, working, and building a
|
||||
career to "save up for the future." But it's worth questioning this assumption.
|
||||
Life isn't just about preparing for what's ahead; it's also about creating joy
|
||||
and meaning in the present. We owe it to ourselves to find a balance—planning
|
||||
wisely for the future while embracing happiness in the here and now.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
Prayash Thapa
|
||||
|
||||
Hello! Thank you so much for visiting my blog. I hope you enjoyed your time
|
||||
here. Photosets like these allow me to share my photographs with more context
|
||||
and depth, and I find them rewarding to create. I hope to do more of these in
|
||||
the future. Let's also connect on [40]Instagram or [41]Twitter.
|
||||
|
||||
• [42]← Chomolungma: Into the Heart of Khumbu
|
||||
• [43]Reflections from Apple →
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
References:
|
||||
|
||||
[1] https://prayash.io/
|
||||
[2] https://prayash.io/
|
||||
[3] https://prayash.io/journal
|
||||
[4] https://prayash.io/software
|
||||
[5] https://prayash.io/music
|
||||
[6] https://prayash.io/feed
|
||||
[7] https://prayash.io/about
|
||||
[8] https://prayash.io/journal/reflections-from-apple
|
||||
[9] https://maps.app.goo.gl/imAyTZ27Y6Tekze58
|
||||
[10] https://maps.app.goo.gl/nZX5cTy3ta4t8S3H8
|
||||
[11] https://maps.app.goo.gl/izMZHaGMP3zUdx5B8
|
||||
[12] https://maps.app.goo.gl/J94JXF2eTX1NEgYH9
|
||||
[13] https://maps.app.goo.gl/QRVaDZdh4aEELBVM7
|
||||
[14] https://maps.app.goo.gl/gkctY2faceqoFcns6
|
||||
[15] https://maps.app.goo.gl/5YGiJHC9wYSy5UCq5
|
||||
[16] https://prayash.io/journal/vanlife
|
||||
[17] https://maps.app.goo.gl/AG9tbFaQynFFj1pA6
|
||||
[18] https://prayash.io/journal/vanlife
|
||||
[19] https://maps.app.goo.gl/DqkTbp57gNc4DrSH7
|
||||
[20] https://maps.app.goo.gl/wMBG2RqYgKg5QrpV6
|
||||
[21] https://youtube.com/pallavibhusal/videos
|
||||
[22] https://www.shumwayfarms.com/product-page/icelandic-skyr-jh
|
||||
[23] https://maps.app.goo.gl/YB4iFtMRUCggnoPQ8
|
||||
[24] https://maps.app.goo.gl/cpyRpqe2casQwwN37
|
||||
[25] https://maps.app.goo.gl/NzJ26yfC8N63d9PM9
|
||||
[26] https://maps.app.goo.gl/B6HumotVCqduUGmE8
|
||||
[27] https://maps.app.goo.gl/XoJtLaAL1AUswfmJ7
|
||||
[28] https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/montana/avalanche-lake--6
|
||||
[29] https://maps.app.goo.gl/t7q9XHTLHxZKwu8b7
|
||||
[30] https://prayash.io/journal/vanlife
|
||||
[31] https://maps.app.goo.gl/mJMu1rwecc5Hg98m9
|
||||
[32] https://maps.app.goo.gl/h7tvN7qkUPs5aRei8
|
||||
[33] https://maps.app.goo.gl/yanZqJyQMQ7ikND96
|
||||
[34] https://maps.app.goo.gl/GfWQAPTARiGW5Pkn9
|
||||
[35] https://maps.app.goo.gl/2oJkD95jHh1Bv1AE9
|
||||
[36] https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/oregon/ecola-state-park-to-indian-beach-trail
|
||||
[37] https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/oregon/gods-thumb-via-the-knoll
|
||||
[38] https://maps.app.goo.gl/mvLYJv3rM3j2sHa47
|
||||
[39] https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/california/grove-of-titans
|
||||
[40] https://instagram.com/prayash.io
|
||||
[41] https://x.com/prayash_io
|
||||
[42] https://prayash.io/journal/into-the-heart-of-khumbu
|
||||
[43] https://prayash.io/journal/reflections-from-apple
|
||||
357
static/archive/www-404media-co-3wvica.txt
Normal file
357
static/archive/www-404media-co-3wvica.txt
Normal file
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Account
|
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|
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• [1]Log in
|
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• [2]Subscribe
|
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• [5]RSS
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• [6]Support/FAQ
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• [8]FOIA Forum Archive
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|
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[21]Sign in [22]Subscribe
|
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• [24]About
|
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• [25]RSS
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• [26]Support/FAQ
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• [27]Podcast
|
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• [28]FOIA Forum Archive
|
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• [29]Merch
|
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• [30]Advertise
|
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• [31]Thanks
|
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• [32]Privacy
|
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|
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Advertisement
|
||||
•
|
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[33]Go ad free
|
||||
[34]organizing
|
||||
|
||||
You Can’t Post Your Way Out of Fascism
|
||||
|
||||
[35] Janus Rose
|
||||
· Feb 5, 2025 at 11:47 AM
|
||||
Authoritarians and tech CEOs now share the same goal: to keep us locked in an
|
||||
eternal doomscroll instead of organizing against them, Janus Rose writes.
|
||||
You Can’t Post Your Way Out of Fascism Unsplash / Collage via 404 Media
|
||||
|
||||
If there’s one thing I’d hoped people had learned going into the next four
|
||||
years of Donald Trump as president, it’s that spending lots of time online
|
||||
posting about what people in power are saying and doing is not going to
|
||||
accomplish anything. If anything, it’s exactly what they want.
|
||||
|
||||
Trump’s second presidential term has arrived amidst a new golden age for
|
||||
internet grifters, propagandists, and bad-faith hucksters of all stripes. The
|
||||
contours of this era of untruth have been flashing like neon signs for the past
|
||||
decade, constantly enticing us to engage with its impenetrable nonsense.
|
||||
Whether it’s gaslighting everyone who saw Elon Musk give two Nazi salutes [36]
|
||||
during the inauguration or blaming the Los Angeles wildfires [37]on the racist
|
||||
dog whistle of “DEI,” lies and absurdities now regularly flood our senses,
|
||||
having long outpaced the media’s capacity to filter them.
|
||||
|
||||
Many of my journalist colleagues have attempted to beat back the tide under
|
||||
banners like “fighting disinformation” and “accountability.” While these
|
||||
efforts are admirable, the past few years have changed my own internal
|
||||
calculus. Thinkers like[38] Jean-Paul Sartre and[39] Hannah Arendt warned us
|
||||
that the point of this deluge is not to persuade, but to overwhelm and paralyze
|
||||
our capacity to act. More recently, researchers have found that the viral
|
||||
outrage disseminated on social media in response to these ridiculous claims
|
||||
actually [40]reduces the effectiveness of collective action. The result is a
|
||||
media environment that keeps us in a state of debilitating fear and anger,
|
||||
endlessly reacting to our oppressors instead of organizing against them.
|
||||
|
||||
To that end, the age of corporate social media has been a roaring success.
|
||||
|
||||
“The reality is you are oxygenating the things these people are saying even as
|
||||
you purport to debunk them,” Katherine Cross, a sociologist and author of Log
|
||||
Off: Why Posting and Politics (Almost) Never Mix, told 404 Media. “Whether it’s
|
||||
[New York Times columnist] Ross Douthat providing [41]a sane-washing gloss on
|
||||
Trump’s mania or people on social media vehemently disagreeing and dunking on
|
||||
it, they’re legitimizing it as part of the discourse.”
|
||||
|
||||
Cross’ book contains a meticulous catalog of social media sins which many
|
||||
people who follow and care about current events are probably guilty of—myself
|
||||
very much included. She documents how tech platforms encourage us, through
|
||||
their design affordances, to post and seethe and doomscroll into the void,
|
||||
always reacting and never acting.
|
||||
|
||||
But perhaps the greatest of these sins is convincing ourselves that posting is
|
||||
a form of political activism, when it is at best a coping mechanism—an
|
||||
individualist solution to problems that can only be solved by collective
|
||||
action. This, says Cross, is the primary way tech platforms atomize and
|
||||
alienate us, creating “a solipsism that says you are the main protagonist in a
|
||||
sea of NPCs.”
|
||||
|
||||
“Everything on social media is designed to make you think like that,” said
|
||||
Cross. “It’s all about you—your feed, your network, your friends.”
|
||||
|
||||
In the days since the inauguration, I’ve watched people on Bluesky and
|
||||
Instagram fall into these same old traps. My timeline is full of reactive hot
|
||||
takes and gotchas by people who still seem to think they can quote-dunk their
|
||||
way out of fascism—or who know they can’t, but simply can’t resist taking the
|
||||
bait. The media is more than willing to work up their appetites. Legacy news
|
||||
outlets cynically chase clicks (and ad dollars) by disseminating whatever
|
||||
sensational nonsense those in power are spewing.
|
||||
|
||||
"For most people, social media gives you this sense that unless you care
|
||||
about everything, you care about nothing. You must try to swallow the world
|
||||
while it’s on fire"
|
||||
|
||||
This in turn fuels yet another round of online outrage, edgy takes, and
|
||||
screenshots exposing the “hypocrisy” of people who never cared about being seen
|
||||
as hypocrites, because that’s not the point. Even violent fantasies about
|
||||
putting billionaires to the guillotine are rendered inept in these online
|
||||
spaces—just another pressure release valve to harmlessly dissipate our rage
|
||||
instead of compelling ourselves to organize and act.
|
||||
|
||||
This is the opposite of what media, social or otherwise, is supposed to do. Of
|
||||
course it’s important to stay informed, and journalists can still provide the
|
||||
valuable information we need to take action. But this process has been
|
||||
short-circuited by tech platforms and a media environment built around seeking
|
||||
reaction for its own sake. Many Twitter refugees made a good choice in
|
||||
migrating from Musk’s X to Bluesky, carving out a new online space that is
|
||||
inhospitable to bigoted debate bros and time-wasting trolls. But in their
|
||||
enemies’ absence, many of these Left-leaning posters have just reverted to
|
||||
dunking on each other, preferring the catharsis of sectarian conflict over the
|
||||
hard work of organizing.
|
||||
|
||||
Under this status quo, everything becomes a myopic contest of who can best
|
||||
exploit peoples’ anxieties to command their attention and energy. If we don’t
|
||||
learn how to extract ourselves from this loop, none of the information we gain
|
||||
will manifest as tangible action—and the people in charge prefer it that way.
|
||||
|
||||
It’s no surprise that tech billionaires like Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark
|
||||
Zuckerberg have rushed to kiss the ring of the twice-ascendent Trump. The
|
||||
marriage of big tech and Trumpworld should make clear that Silicon Valley and
|
||||
authoritarians share the same goal: to crush dissent by keeping their would-be
|
||||
opponents spinning on an endless hamster wheel of reactive anger. And just like
|
||||
in the classic 1983 thriller WarGames, the only winning move is not to play.
|
||||
|
||||
That can be a tough pill to swallow when the internet is our main window into
|
||||
the world, and that world seems to be rapidly falling apart. We gaze into our
|
||||
phone-portals, paralyzed by the trance of the doomscroll, reacting and swiping
|
||||
from one news article and hot take to another. Authoritarians issue frightening
|
||||
proclamations that may or may not be legally enforceable, seizing our attention
|
||||
and energy and ensuring that the process will repeat, ad infinitum.
|
||||
|
||||
So what is the alternative? If we log off, what exactly are we supposed to do
|
||||
instead? How are we supposed to get information without constantly raising our
|
||||
antennae into the noxious cumulonimbus cloud of social media?
|
||||
|
||||
It isn’t quite as simple as “touch grass,” but it also sort of is.
|
||||
|
||||
Trusted information networks have existed since long before the internet and
|
||||
mass media. These networks are in every town and city, and at their core are
|
||||
real relationships between neighbors—not their online, parasocial simulacra.
|
||||
|
||||
Here in New York City, in the week since the inauguration, I’ve seen large
|
||||
groups mobilize to[42] defend migrants from anticipated ICE raids and provide
|
||||
warm food and winter clothes for the unhoused after[43] the city closed
|
||||
shelters and abandoned people in sub-freezing temperatures. Similar efforts are
|
||||
underway in Chicago, where [44]ICE reportedly arrested more than 100 people,
|
||||
and in other cities where ICE has planned or attempted raids, with volunteers
|
||||
assigned to keep watch over key locations where migrants are most vulnerable.
|
||||
|
||||
A few weeks earlier, residents created [45]ad-hoc mutual aid distros in Los
|
||||
Angeles to provide food and essentials for those displaced by the wildfires.
|
||||
The coordinated efforts gave Angelenos a lifeline during the crisis, cutting
|
||||
through the [46]false claims spreading on social media about looting and
|
||||
out-of-state [47]fire trucks being stopped for “emissions testing.” Many mutual
|
||||
aid groups in Los Angeles have not just been helping people affected by the
|
||||
fires but have also focused on distributing information about how to learn
|
||||
about and resist ICE raids in Los Angeles. It is no surprise that some of the
|
||||
[48]largest and most coordinated protests in the early days of Trump’s term
|
||||
have happened in Los Angeles, where thousands of anti-ICE protesters shut down
|
||||
the 101 highway and several streets in downtown Los Angeles Sunday.
|
||||
|
||||
Some of these efforts were coordinated online over Discord and secure messaging
|
||||
apps, but all of them arose from existing networks of neighbors and community
|
||||
organizers, some of whom have been organizing for decades.
|
||||
|
||||
“For most people, social media gives you this sense that unless you care about
|
||||
everything, you care about nothing. You must try to swallow the world while
|
||||
it’s on fire,” said Cross. “But [49]we didn’t evolve to be able to absorb this
|
||||
much info. It makes you devalue the work you can do in your community.”
|
||||
|
||||
It’s not that social media is fundamentally evil or bereft of any good
|
||||
qualities. Some of my best post-Twitter moments have been spent goofing around
|
||||
with mutuals on Bluesky, or waxing romantic about the joys of human creativity
|
||||
and art-making in an increasingly AI-infested world. But when it comes to
|
||||
addressing the problems we face, no amount of posting or passive info
|
||||
consumption is going to substitute the hard, unsexy work of organizing.
|
||||
|
||||
It’s a lesson the Extremely Online Left still hasn’t fully learned, failing
|
||||
where its political enemies succeed. Reactionary right-wing groups like the
|
||||
homophobic and transphobic [50]Moms for Liberty—which seeks to ban books from
|
||||
LGBTQ and BIPOC authors under the guise of “parental rights”—have claimed
|
||||
political victories by seizing power one public school board and small town at
|
||||
a time. Other reactionaries have similarly managed to take their pet grievances
|
||||
about diversity and wokeness to the national level by moving from online
|
||||
outrage to on-the-ground community organizing.
|
||||
|
||||
You can discourse and quote-dunk and fact-check until you’re blue in the face,
|
||||
but at a certain point, you have to stop and decide what truth you believe in.
|
||||
The internet has conditioned us to constantly seek new information, as if
|
||||
becoming a sponge of bad news will eventually yield the final piece of a
|
||||
puzzle. But there is also such a thing as having enough information. As the[51]
|
||||
internet continues to enshittify, maybe what we really need is to start
|
||||
trusting each other and our own collective sense of what is true and good.
|
||||
|
||||
We don’t need any more irony-poisoned hot takes or cathartic, irreverent snark.
|
||||
We need to collectively decide what kind of world we actually do want, and what
|
||||
we’re willing to do to achieve it.
|
||||
|
||||
Janus Rose is New York City-based journalist, educator and artist whose work
|
||||
explores the impacts of A.I. and technology on activists and marginalized
|
||||
communities. Previously a senior editor at VICE, she has been published in
|
||||
digital and print outlets including e-Flux Journal, DAZED Magazine, The New
|
||||
Yorker, and Al Jazeera.
|
||||
|
||||
More like this
|
||||
|
||||
[52] The Dude Whose Brain Turned to Glass
|
||||
[53]The Dude Whose Brain Turned to Glass
|
||||
He was hanging out in an ancient Roman port town 2,000 years ago, when
|
||||
something struck him (a deadly volcanic eruption).
|
||||
[54] Becky Ferreira Becky Ferreira
|
||||
· Mar 1, 2025
|
||||
[55] Behind the Blog: Stunt Blogging and the 'Fuck It' Paradigm
|
||||
[56]Behind the Blog: Stunt Blogging and the 'Fuck It' Paradigm
|
||||
This week, we discuss stunt blogging, Signal pains, and murderous Reels.
|
||||
[57] Samantha Cole Samantha Cole ,
|
||||
[58] Joseph Cox Joseph Cox ,
|
||||
[59] Emanuel Maiberg Emanuel Maiberg
|
||||
· Feb 28, 2025
|
||||
[60] The Digital Packrat Manifesto
|
||||
[61]The Digital Packrat Manifesto
|
||||
DRM and big tech's war on ownership has led me to make my own media libraries,
|
||||
and you should too.
|
||||
[62] Janus Rose
|
||||
· Feb 28, 2025
|
||||
Advertisement
|
||||
•
|
||||
[63]Go ad free
|
||||
Advertisement
|
||||
•
|
||||
[64]Go ad free
|
||||
•
|
||||
Hide
|
||||
|
||||
Unparalleled access to hidden worlds both online and IRL.
|
||||
|
||||
404 Media is a new independent media company founded by technology journalists
|
||||
Jason Koebler, Emanuel Maiberg, Samantha Cole, and Joseph Cox.
|
||||
|
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• [65]About
|
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• [66]RSS
|
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• [67]Support/FAQ
|
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• [68]Podcast
|
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• [69]FOIA Forum Archive
|
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• [70]Merch
|
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• [71]Advertise
|
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• [72]Thanks
|
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• [73]Privacy
|
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[74]Twitter [75]Bluesky [76]Mastodon [77]Instagram [78]TikTok [79]Facebook [80]
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Join the newsletter to get the latest updates.
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Great! Check your inbox and click the link to confirm your subscription
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© 2025 404 Media. Published with [83]Ghost.
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|
||||
[29] https://404media.myshopify.com/
|
||||
[30] https://www.404media.co/advertise-with-404-media/
|
||||
[31] https://www.404media.co/thank-yous/
|
||||
[32] https://www.404media.co/privacy-policy/
|
||||
[33] https://www.404media.co/you-cant-post-your-way-out-of-fascism/#/portal/signup
|
||||
[34] https://www.404media.co/tag/organizing/
|
||||
[35] https://www.404media.co/author/janus/
|
||||
[36] https://apnews.com/article/musk-gesture-salute-antisemitism-0070dae53c7a73397b104ae645877535?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[37] https://www.politico.com/news/2025/01/15/republicans-dei-la-fires-00198551?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[38] https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7870768-never-believe-that-anti-semites-are-completely-unaware-of-the-absurdity?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[39] https://www.openculture.com/2022/02/hannah-arendt-explains-how-propaganda-uses-lies.html?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[40] https://par.nsf.gov/servlets/purl/10095997?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[41] https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/11/opinion/columnists/o-canada-come-join-us.html?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[42] https://abc7ny.com/post/nyc-immigration-ice-agents-arrest-hundreds-migrants-sanctuary-cities-including-new-york/15835897/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[43] https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nyc-to-close-13-more-migrant-shelters-by-june-2025/ar-BB1rfS3Y?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[44] https://www.chicagotribune.com/2025/01/27/chicago-ice-raids-what-to-know/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[45] https://itsgoingdown.org/report-from-los-angeles-mutual-aid-hubs-fires/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[46] https://www.reuters.com/fact-check/video-shows-people-evacuating-home-not-looting-amid-la-fires-2025-01-13/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[47] https://www.thereflector.com/stories/no-out-of-state-fire-vehicles-turned-away-from-california-due-to-emissions-testing,373975?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[48] https://abc7.com/post/dozens-march-101-freeway-downtown-los-angeles-during-protest-deportations/15857649/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[49] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6502424/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[50] https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-group-banning-lgbt-books-wants-to-replace-them-with-anti-gay-propaganda/?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[51] https://gizmodo.com/enshittification-is-officially-the-biggest-word-of-the-year-2000530173?ref=404media.co
|
||||
[52] https://www.404media.co/the-dude-whose-brain-turned-to-glass/
|
||||
[53] https://www.404media.co/the-dude-whose-brain-turned-to-glass/
|
||||
[54] https://www.404media.co/author/becky/
|
||||
[55] https://www.404media.co/behind-the-blog-stunt-blogging-and-the-fuck-it-paradigm/
|
||||
[56] https://www.404media.co/behind-the-blog-stunt-blogging-and-the-fuck-it-paradigm/
|
||||
[57] https://www.404media.co/author/samantha-cole/
|
||||
[58] https://www.404media.co/author/joseph-cox/
|
||||
[59] https://www.404media.co/author/emanuel-maiberg/
|
||||
[60] https://www.404media.co/the-digital-packrat-manifesto/
|
||||
[61] https://www.404media.co/the-digital-packrat-manifesto/
|
||||
[62] https://www.404media.co/author/janus/
|
||||
[63] https://www.404media.co/you-cant-post-your-way-out-of-fascism/#/portal/signup
|
||||
[64] https://www.404media.co/you-cant-post-your-way-out-of-fascism/#/portal/signup
|
||||
[65] https://www.404media.co/about/
|
||||
[66] https://www.404media.co/404-media-now-has-a-full-text-rss-feed/
|
||||
[67] https://www.404media.co/faq/
|
||||
[68] https://www.404media.co/the-404-media-podcast/
|
||||
[69] https://www.404media.co/foia-forum-archive/
|
||||
[70] https://404media.myshopify.com/
|
||||
[71] https://www.404media.co/advertise-with-404-media/
|
||||
[72] https://www.404media.co/thank-yous/
|
||||
[73] https://www.404media.co/privacy-policy/
|
||||
[74] https://twitter.com/404mediaco
|
||||
[75] https://bsky.app/profile/404media.co
|
||||
[76] https://mastodon.social/@404mediaco
|
||||
[77] https://instagram.com/404mediaco
|
||||
[78] https://tiktok.com/@404.media
|
||||
[79] https://www.facebook.com/404mediaco
|
||||
[80] https://www.404media.co/rss
|
||||
[83] https://ghost.org/
|
||||
40
static/archive/www-manton-org-iaxj45.txt
Normal file
40
static/archive/www-manton-org-iaxj45.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,40 @@
|
||||
● [1]Manton Reece
|
||||
[2]About [3]Photos [4]Archive [5]30 days [6]88 parks [7]Replies [8]Reading [9]
|
||||
Search [10]Also on Micro.blog
|
||||
|
||||
[11]Feb 9, 2025
|
||||
|
||||
I missed the memo for the outside space at this coffee shop… There are like 20
|
||||
little kids and families running around here. Not a distraction, just makes me
|
||||
smile remembering how good life was with little kids. The bittersweet irony
|
||||
with parenting is not knowing until years later what you had.
|
||||
|
||||
[12]Also on Bluesky [13] [avatar]
|
||||
Manton Reece [14]@manton
|
||||
|
||||
• [15]RSS
|
||||
• [16]JSON Feed
|
||||
• [17]Surprise me!
|
||||
• [18]Tweets
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
References:
|
||||
|
||||
[1] https://www.manton.org/
|
||||
[2] https://www.manton.org/about/
|
||||
[3] https://www.manton.org/photos/
|
||||
[4] https://www.manton.org/archive/
|
||||
[5] https://www.manton.org/30-days/
|
||||
[6] https://www.manton.org/88-parks/
|
||||
[7] https://www.manton.org/replies/
|
||||
[8] https://www.manton.org/reading/
|
||||
[9] https://www.manton.org/search/
|
||||
[10] https://micro.blog/manton
|
||||
[11] https://www.manton.org/2025/02/09/i-missed-the-memo-for.html
|
||||
[12] at://did:plc:pko7wbcggok753hnvndxh3ni/app.bsky.feed.post/3lhr2bc63zb2a
|
||||
[13] https://www.manton.org/
|
||||
[14] https://micro.blog/manton
|
||||
[15] https://www.manton.org/feed.xml
|
||||
[16] https://www.manton.org/feed.json
|
||||
[17] https://www.manton.org/surprise-me/
|
||||
[18] https://www.manton.org/tweets/
|
||||
335
static/archive/www-robinsloan-com-dkgq9f.txt
Normal file
335
static/archive/www-robinsloan-com-dkgq9f.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,335 @@
|
||||
[1]Blog [2]About [3]Moonbound
|
||||
|
||||
This is a post from [4]Robin Sloan’s lab blog & notebook. You can [5]visit the
|
||||
blog’s homepage, or [6]learn more about me.
|
||||
|
||||
[7]Is it okay?
|
||||
|
||||
February 11, 2025 Macbeth Consulting the Witches, 1825, Eugène Delacroix [8]
|
||||
Macbeth Consulting the Witches, 1825, Eugène Delacroix
|
||||
|
||||
How do you make a language model? Goes like this: erect a trellis of code, then
|
||||
allow the real program to grow, its development guided by a grueling training
|
||||
process, fueled by reams of text, mostly scraped from the internet. Now. I want
|
||||
to take a moment to think together about a question with no remaining practical
|
||||
importance, but persistent moral urgency:
|
||||
|
||||
Is that okay?
|
||||
|
||||
The question doesn’t have any practical importance because the AI companies —
|
||||
and not only the companies, but the enthusiasts, all over the world — are going
|
||||
to keep doing what they’re doing, no matter what.
|
||||
|
||||
The question does still have moral urgency because, at its heart, it’s a ques
|
||||
tion about the things people all share together: the hows and the whys of
|
||||
humanity’s common inheritance. There’s hardly anything bigger.
|
||||
|
||||
And, even if the companies and the enthusiasts rampage ahead, there are still
|
||||
plenty of us who have to make personal decisions about this stuff every day.
|
||||
You gotta take care of your own soul, and I’m writing this because I want to
|
||||
clarify mine.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
A few ground rules.
|
||||
|
||||
First, if you (you engineer, you AI acolyte!) think the answer is obviously
|
||||
“yes, it’s okay”, or if you (you journalist, you media executive!) think the
|
||||
answer is obviously “no, it’s not okay”, then I will suggest that you are not
|
||||
thinking with sufficient sensitivity and imagination about something truly new
|
||||
on Earth. Nothing here is obvious.
|
||||
|
||||
Second, I’d like to proceed by depriving each side of its best weapon.
|
||||
|
||||
On the side of “yes, it’s okay”, I will insist that the analogy to human
|
||||
learning is not admissible. “Don’t people read things, and learn from them, and
|
||||
produce new work?” Yes, but speed and scale always influence our judgments
|
||||
about safety and permissibility, and the speed and scale of machine learning is
|
||||
off the charts. No human, no matter how well-read, could ever field requests
|
||||
from a million other people, all at once, forever.
|
||||
|
||||
On the side of “no, it’s not okay”, I will set aside any arguments grounded in
|
||||
copyright law. Not because they are irrelevant, but because … well, I think
|
||||
modern copyright is flawed, so a victory on those grounds would be thin, a bit
|
||||
sad. Instead, I’ll defer to deeper precedents: the intuitions and aspirations
|
||||
that gave rise to copyright in the first place. To promote the Progress of Sci
|
||||
ence and useful Arts, remember?
|
||||
|
||||
I hope partisans of both sides will agree this is a fair swap. Put down your
|
||||
weapons, and let’s think together.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
I want to go carefully, step by step — yet I want to do so with brevity. Lan
|
||||
guage models produce so … many … WORDS, and they seem to coax just as many out
|
||||
of their critics. Logorrhea begets logorrhea. We can do better.
|
||||
|
||||
I’ll begin with my sense of what language models are doing. Here it is: lan
|
||||
guage models collate and precipitate all the diverse reasons for writing,
|
||||
across a huge swath of human activity and aspiration. Start to enumerate those
|
||||
reasons: to inform, to persuade, to sell this stupid alarm clock, to dump the
|
||||
CUSTOMERS table into a CSV file … and you realize it’s a vast field of desire
|
||||
and action, impossible to hold in your head.
|
||||
|
||||
The language models have many heads.
|
||||
|
||||
In this formulation, language models are not merely trained on human writing.
|
||||
They are the writing: all those reasons, granted the ability to speak for
|
||||
themselves. I imagine the PyTorch code as a mech suit, with squishy language
|
||||
strapped in tight …
|
||||
|
||||
To make this work — you already know this, but I want to underscore it — only a
|
||||
truly rich trove of writing suffices. Train a language model on all of
|
||||
Shakespeare’s works and you won’t get anything useful, just a brittle
|
||||
Shakespeare imitator.
|
||||
|
||||
In fact, the only trove known to produce noteworthy capabilities is: the entire
|
||||
internet, or close enough. The whole extant commons of human writing. From here
|
||||
on out, for brevity, we’ll call it Everything.
|
||||
|
||||
This is what makes these language models new: there has never, in human
|
||||
history, been a way to operationalize Everything. There’s never been any
|
||||
thing close.
|
||||
|
||||
Just as, above, I set copyright aside, I want also to set aside fair use and
|
||||
the public domain. Again, not because they are irrelevant, but because those
|
||||
intuitions and frameworks all assume we are talking about using some part of
|
||||
the commons — not all of it.
|
||||
|
||||
I mean: ALL of it!
|
||||
|
||||
If language models worked like cartoon villains, slurping up Everything and
|
||||
tainting it with techno-ooze, our judgment would be easy. But of course, digiti
|
||||
zation is trickier than that: the airy touch of the copy complicates the sce
|
||||
nario.
|
||||
|
||||
The language model reads Everything, and leaves Everything untouched — yet sud
|
||||
denly this new thing exists, with strange and formidable powers.
|
||||
|
||||
Is that okay?
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
As we begin to feel our way across truly new terrain, we can inquire: how much
|
||||
of the value of these models comes from Everything? If the fraction was just
|
||||
one percent, or even ten, then we wouldn’t have much more to say.
|
||||
|
||||
But the fraction is, for sure, larger than that.
|
||||
|
||||
What goes into a language model? Data and compute.
|
||||
|
||||
For the foundation models like Claude, data means: Everything.
|
||||
|
||||
Compute combines two pursuits:
|
||||
|
||||
1. software: the trellises and applications that support the development and
|
||||
deployment of these models, and
|
||||
|
||||
2. hardware: the vast sultry data centers, stocked with chips, that give them
|
||||
room to run
|
||||
|
||||
There’s a lot of value in those pursuits; I don’t take either for granted, or
|
||||
the labor they require. The experience you get using a model like Claude
|
||||
depends on an ingenious scaffolding. [9]Truly! At the same time: I believe
|
||||
anyone who works on these models has to concede that the trellises and the
|
||||
chips, without data, are empty vessels. Inert.
|
||||
|
||||
Reasonable people can disagree about how the value breaks down. While I believe
|
||||
the relative value of Everything in this mix is something close to 90%, I’m
|
||||
willing to concede a 50/50 split.
|
||||
|
||||
And here is the important thing: there is no substitute.
|
||||
|
||||
You’ve probably heard about the race to generate novel training data, and all
|
||||
the interesting effects such data can have. It is sometimes lost in those dis
|
||||
cussions that these sophisticated new curricula can only be provided to a lan
|
||||
guage model already trained on Everything. That training is what allows it to
|
||||
make sense of the new material.
|
||||
|
||||
Also, it is often the case — not always, but often — that the novel training
|
||||
data is generated by … a language model … which has itself been trained
|
||||
on … you guessed it.
|
||||
|
||||
It’s Everything, all the way down.
|
||||
|
||||
Would it be possible to commission a fresh body of work, Everything’s equal in
|
||||
scale and diversity, without any of the encumbrances of the commons? If you
|
||||
could do it, and you trained a clean-room model on that writing alone, I con
|
||||
cede that my question would be moot. (There would be other questions! Just not
|
||||
this one.) Certainly, with as much money as the AI companies have now, you’d
|
||||
expect they might try. We know they are already paying to produce new content,
|
||||
lots of it, across all sorts of business and technical domains.
|
||||
|
||||
But this still wouldn’t match the depth and richness of Everything. I have a
|
||||
hypothesis, which naturally might be wrong: that it is precisely the naivete of
|
||||
Everything, the fact that its writing was actually produced for all those dif
|
||||
ferent reasons, that makes it so valuable. Composing a fake corporate email,
|
||||
knowing it will be used to train a language model, you’re not doing nothing,
|
||||
but you’re not doing the same thing as the real email-writer. Your document
|
||||
doesn’t have the same … what? The same grain. The same umami.
|
||||
|
||||
Maybe one of these companies will spend ten billion dollars to commission a
|
||||
whole new internet’s worth of text and prove me wrong. However, I think there
|
||||
are information-theoretic reasons to believe the results of such a project
|
||||
would disappoint them.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
So! Understanding that these models are reliant on Everything, and derive a
|
||||
large fraction of their value from it, one judgment becomes clear:
|
||||
|
||||
If their primary application is to produce writing and other media that crowds
|
||||
out human composition, human production: no, it’s not okay.
|
||||
|
||||
For me, this is intuitively, almost viscerally, obvious. Here is the ultimate
|
||||
act of pulling the ladder up behind you, a giant “fuck you” to every human who
|
||||
ever wanted to accomplish anything, who matched desire to action, in writing,
|
||||
part of Everything. Here is a technology founded in the commons, working to
|
||||
undermine it. Immanuel Kant would like a word.
|
||||
|
||||
Fine. But what if that isn’t the primary application? What if language models,
|
||||
by collating and precipitating all the diverse reasons for writing, become flex
|
||||
ible general-purpose reasoners, and most of their “output” is never actually
|
||||
read by anyone, instead running silent like the electricity in your walls?
|
||||
|
||||
It’s possible that language models could go on broadening and deepening in this
|
||||
way, and eventually become valuable [10]aids to science and technology, [11]to
|
||||
medicine and more.
|
||||
|
||||
This is tricky — it’s so, so tricky — because the claim is both (1) true, and
|
||||
(2) convenient. One wishes it wasn’t so convenient. Can’t these companies
|
||||
simply promise, with every passing year, that AI super science is just around
|
||||
the corner … and meanwhile, wreck every creative industry, flood the internet
|
||||
with garbage, grow rich on the value of Everything? Let us cook—while culture
|
||||
fades into a sort of oatmeal sludge.
|
||||
|
||||
They can do that! They probably will. And the claim might still be true.
|
||||
|
||||
If super science is a possibility — if, say, Claude 13 can help deliver cures
|
||||
to a host of diseases — then, you know what? Yes, it is okay, all of it. I’m
|
||||
not sure what kind of person could insist that the maintenance of a media
|
||||
status quo trumps the eradication of, say, most cancers. Couldn’t be me. Fine,
|
||||
wreck the arts as we know them. We’ll invent new ones.
|
||||
|
||||
(I know that seems awfully consequentialist. Would I sacrifice anything, or
|
||||
everything, for super science? No. But art and media can find new forms. That’s
|
||||
what they do.)
|
||||
|
||||
Obviously, this scenario is especially appealing if the super science, like
|
||||
Everything at its foundation, flows out into the commons. It should.
|
||||
|
||||
So — is super science really on the menu? We don’t have any way of knowing; not
|
||||
yet. Things will be clearer in a few years, I think. There will either be real
|
||||
undeniable glimmers, reported by scientists putting language models to work, or
|
||||
there will still only be visions.
|
||||
|
||||
For my part, I think the chance of super science is below fifty percent, owing
|
||||
mostly to the friction of the real physical world, which the language models
|
||||
have, so far, avoided. But, I also think the chance is above ten percent, so,
|
||||
I remain curious.
|
||||
|
||||
It’s not unreasonable to find this wager suspicious, but if you do, I might
|
||||
ask: is there any possible-but-unproven technology that you think is worth pur
|
||||
suing even at the cost of itchy uncertainty in the present? If the answer is
|
||||
“yes, just not this one”: fair enough. If the answer is “no”: aha! I see you’ve
|
||||
answered the question at the top of this page for yourself already.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Where does this leave us?
|
||||
|
||||
I suppose it’s not surprising, in the end:
|
||||
|
||||
If an AI application delivers some profound public good, or even if it might,
|
||||
it’s probably okay that its value is rooted in this unprecedented operational
|
||||
ization of the commons.
|
||||
|
||||
If an AI application simply replicates Everything, it’s probably not okay.
|
||||
|
||||
I’ll sketch out my current opinions more specifically:
|
||||
|
||||
I think the image generation models, trained on the Everything of pictures,
|
||||
are: probably not okay. They don’t do anything except make more images. They
|
||||
pee in the pool.
|
||||
|
||||
I think the foundation models like Claude are: probably okay. If it seemed, a
|
||||
couple of years ago, that they were going to be used mainly to barf out text,
|
||||
that impression has faded. It’s clear their applications are diverse, and often
|
||||
have more to do with processes than end products.
|
||||
|
||||
The case of translation is compelling. If language models are, indeed, the
|
||||
Babel fish, they might justify the operationalization of the commons even
|
||||
without super science.
|
||||
|
||||
I think the case of code is especially clear, and, for me, basically settled.
|
||||
That’s both (1) because of where code sits in the creative process, as an inter
|
||||
mediate product, the thing that makes the thing, and (2) because the commons of
|
||||
open-source code has carried the expectation of rich and surprising reuse for
|
||||
decades. I think this application has, in fact, already passed the threshold of
|
||||
“profound public good”: opening up programming to whole new groups of people.
|
||||
|
||||
But, again, it’s important to say: the code only works because of Everything.
|
||||
Take that data away, train a model using GitHub alone, and you’ll get a far
|
||||
less useful tool.
|
||||
|
||||
Maybe (it turns out) I’m less interested in litigating my foundational question
|
||||
and more interested in simply insisting on the overwhelming, irreplaceable con
|
||||
tribution of this great central treasure: all of us, writing, for every conceiv
|
||||
able reason; desire and action, impossible to hold in your head.
|
||||
|
||||
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
|
||||
|
||||
Did we make progress here? I think so. It’s possible my question, at the
|
||||
outset, seemed broad. In fact, it’s fairly narrow, about this core mechanism,
|
||||
the operationalization of the commons: whether I can live with it, or not.
|
||||
|
||||
One extreme: if these machines churn through all media, and then, in their
|
||||
deployment, blow away any prospect for a healthy market for human-made media,
|
||||
I’d say, no, that’s not what we want from technology, or from our future.
|
||||
|
||||
Another extreme: if these machines churn through all media, and then, in their
|
||||
deployment, discover several superconductors and cure all cancers, I’d say,
|
||||
okay … we’re good.
|
||||
|
||||
What if they do both? Well, it would be a bummer for media, but on balance I’d
|
||||
take it. There will always be ways for artists to get out ahead again. More on
|
||||
that in another post.
|
||||
|
||||
I also think there are some potential policy remedies that would even out the
|
||||
allocation of value here — although, these days, imagining interesting policy
|
||||
is a sort of fantastical entertainment. Even so, I’ll post about those later,
|
||||
too.
|
||||
|
||||
In this discussion, I set copyright and fair use aside. I should say, however,
|
||||
that I’m not at all interested in clearing the air for AI companies, legally.
|
||||
They’ve chosen to plunge ahead into new terrain — so let them enjoy the fog of
|
||||
war, Civ-style. Let them cook!
|
||||
|
||||
[12]To the blog home page
|
||||
|
||||
I'm [13]Robin Sloan, a fiction writer. The main thing to do here is sign up for
|
||||
my newsletter:
|
||||
|
||||
[14][ ] [15][Subscribe]
|
||||
This website doesn’t collect any information about you or your reading.
|
||||
It aspires to the speed and privacy of the printed page.
|
||||
|
||||
Don’t miss [16]the colophon. Hony soyt qui mal pence
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
References:
|
||||
|
||||
[1] https://www.robinsloan.com/lab/
|
||||
[2] https://www.robinsloan.com/about/
|
||||
[3] https://www.robinsloan.com/moonbound/
|
||||
[4] https://www.robinsloan.com/
|
||||
[5] https://www.robinsloan.com/lab/
|
||||
[6] https://www.robinsloan.com/about/
|
||||
[7] https://www.robinsloan.com/lab/is-it-okay/
|
||||
[8] https://www.clevelandart.org/art/1962.109?utm_source=Robin_Sloan_sent_me
|
||||
[9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugvHCXCOmm4#t=9780
|
||||
[10] https://research.google/blog/accelerating-scientific-breakthroughs-with-an-ai-co-scientist/?utm_source=Robin_Sloan_sent_me
|
||||
[11] https://darioamodei.com/machines-of-loving-grace?utm_source=Robin_Sloan_sent_me
|
||||
[12] https://www.robinsloan.com/lab/
|
||||
[13] https://www.robinsloan.com/about?utm_source=Robin_Sloan_sent_me
|
||||
[16] https://www.robinsloan.com/colophon/
|
||||
Reference in New Issue
Block a user