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Spend Exactly None Of Your Time Killing Time
By
[52]Chris Thompson
PublishedJanuary 25, 2019
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Image for article titled Spend Exactly None Of Your Time Killing Time
Illustration: Chelsea Beck (GMG)
Here’s a good resolution, if you’re the sort of person who resolves to
do good and healthy things and then maintains any hope of actually
doing them: Resolve to divide your waking hours exactly and only
between doing things you should be doing, and doing things you want to
be doing.
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When you are not doing something you should be doing—straightening up
around the house, taking out the garbage, walking the dog, your job—you
should always and only be doing something you actively want to be
doing, like reading a book, or playing video games, or pursuing a
hobby. Conversely, when you are not doing something you want to be
doing, you should always and only be doing something you should be
doing. This is a good resolution because it’s not aimed at some
specific result that deviates a whole lot from who you are already,
like overhauling your diet or your sleep regimen or whatever. No
overhaul required, here. You already do plenty of what you’re supposed
to do, and plenty of what you want to do. Resolve to stop doing
anything else.
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But I already do this, you are saying, as you sit at your desk, not
working, procrastinating, avoiding work by dicking around on the
internet and winding up on a dumb-ass late-January blog about, of all
things, self-improvement. No! Right now, you are not following this
very good advice. You are not doing what you should be doing—unless
what you should be doing is reading blogs—nor are you doing what you
really want to be doing, which is parasailing or skiing or hunting
moose in [60]ye olde cowboy game. You are killing time, waiting for
either the energy for work or the consequences of not doing work to
give your life some feeble structure. Stop it! Killing time is the very
habit we are trying to address, here. There’s barely enough time as it
is.
Along the way you will need to hone your sense of what things you
should be doing. You know the most obvious ones—they’re occupying the
margins of your consciousness all the time, bearing down on you and
poisoning the time you spend not doing them. Chores, assignments,
projects, bills, phone calls, repairs, and so forth. The list is a
little bit longer than that, which is both good news and bad news. It’s
bad news because it includes things like talking to your folks on the
telephone, or listening patiently while your spouse rants about their
day, or brushing your teeth—things you put off doing nearly as much as
work but which, I’m afraid, must be done. But it’s also good news,
because by acknowledging that those are responsibilities, you have also
earned the right to take some satisfaction from having fulfilled them.
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Sometimes you have the bandwidth and energy to address your attention
to the things you should be doing, and other times the thought of
getting your car inspected or working out or washing a sinkful of
dishes fills you with a sudden urge to throw yourself down a well. When
you have the energy to do the things you should do, do them, or keep
doing them. When you don’t—and this is crucial—go ahead and give
yourself permission to set them aside for another time. But—and this is
also crucial, because it is the lesson of this damn blog—when you give
yourself permission not to do the things you should be doing, please
spend the resulting block of free time doing something good and cool,
something you genuinely want to do.
You will also need to hone your sense of what it is you want to be
doing. Today, the thing I most want to be doing in all the universe is
riding Splash Mountain. That activity, I am afraid to say, is
completely out of the question, in no small part because I am supposed
to be doing the thing I least want to do in all the universe, which is
working. Since I would certainly rather die than actually work, I’m
going to do something else. But what? It helps to start all the way out
at riding Splash Mountain, because understanding want in terms of
genuine desire keeps you from slipping into the shitty headspace of
just measuring activities against the dread and misery of work. In
almost all cases I would rather be watching Law & Order reruns than
doing chores, but that doesn’t mean I really want to be watching Law &
Order reruns. In the endless list of things I could conceivably do with
a day, watching Law & Order reruns is probably closer to doing chores
than it is to riding Splash Mountain. In fact, I often default to
watching Law & Order reruns because some part of my brain recognizes
that it keeps me anchored in place near the chores, and isn’t so joyful
that I can be said to be really enjoying myself, which is clearly
something I don’t deserve.
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So it is with scanning headlines or surfing Instagram or refreshing
Twitter, the grey shit you do compulsively when you are
procrastinating. Yes, you would rather be doing those things than
painting your living room—anything, including bleeding from the
eyeballs, is better than painting—but that doesn’t necessarily mean
they’re worth a shit. If you’re not going to paint the living room,
that’s fine! But now use the time on something good! In my case, if I
start all the way out at riding Splash Mountain and work backward from
there, long before I get to watching Law & Order reruns, I will arrive
at things like bowling or going to the movies or hunting moose in ye
olde cowboy game. Those are things I find myself wanting to do, but
rarely give myself permission to do. Ask yourself, “What are some
activities that would be genuinely fun?” Make a list! Cross off the
stuff you know you can’t do, and then pick and do one of the ones you
can. Go to the zoo. Watch a horror flick. Try out a new bar. Read a few
chapters of a good book.
It can feel reckless and irresponsible to spend your day bowling or
baking or hunting moose in ye olde cowboy game, but a big chunk of the
guilt associated with these activities stems from not really giving
yourself permission to do them, at least in part because too much of
your average day is already given over to tweeting at Jonathan Chait.
But it’s healthy and productive to do cool and fun things that enrich
your life! The solution, here, is to buy yourself the time to do the
really interesting things by first being honest with yourself about all
the sweaty hours you waste tweeting at Jonathan Chait. You are a
successful and prolific time-killer because you’ve got a selection of
ways of doing it that are marginally less dreary and more stimulating
than folding laundry or managing spreadsheets, and some inherited
puritanical impulse that tells you you’re still close to upright so
long as you’re not actually enjoying yourself. Bullshit! When you are
not doing what you are supposed to do, do something you genuinely want
to do. That’s the rule.
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Of course, there will be any number of times when you are prevented
from doing any of the things you want to be doing. The rule is also
this: When you cannot do what you genuinely want to do, do what you are
supposed to do. Here is a good life hack: when you lack the bandwidth
to take on an important chore or duty, you probably still have the
bandwidth to make a list of all your important chores and duties. Do
that! This counts as a thing you should be doing, because often enough
in making the list you will hit on something that requires little
enough of you that you can take it on right away, without too much
suffering. And even if you don’t, the making of the list will bring you
a little closer to addressing yourself to the items on it, and that’s
enough of a positive step that when the time comes for you to do
something you want to do, you will feel the satisfaction of having
earned it, through work. That’s what’s missing from the shame-soaked
hours spent avoiding and procrastinating: the feeling that you deserve
to have a good time, and the permission to have one.
Of course, you will probably fall short of dividing your time exactly
equally between responsibilities and pursuits. Don’t think of that as
failure. When you remember this wise practice, when it occurs to you,
treat it as a rule and follow it. Ah, right, I said I wasn’t gonna sit
here stewing in my anxiety all afternoon, so instead I’m going to go
see [62]Into the Spider-Verse. Good plan! You are going to end the day
with something to show for it, and that’s the whole idea.
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References
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53. https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=https://deadspin.com/kawhi-leonard-paul-george-clippers-doomed-1850379989?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=facebook
54. https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://deadspin.com/kawhi-leonard-paul-george-clippers-doomed-1850379989?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=twitter&text=The end is nigh for the Clippers Kawhi & PG era | Keep it a Buck(et)
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56. https://www.reddit.com/submit?url=https://deadspin.com/kawhi-leonard-paul-george-clippers-doomed-1850379989?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=reddit&title=The end is nigh for the Clippers Kawhi & PG era | Keep it a Buck(et)
57. https://deadspin.com/kawhi-leonard-paul-george-clippers-doomed-1850379989
58. https://deadspin.com/kawhi-leonard-paul-george-clippers-doomed-1850379989
59. https://deadspin.com/kawhi-leonard-paul-george-clippers-doomed-1850379989
60. https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/i-like-chopping-firewood-in-red-dead-redemption-2-1830178593#_ga=2.215259543.149258240.1547482638-1486199056.1525795056
61. https://www.amazon.com/Best-Choice-Products-Sectional-Conversation/dp/B0863D974H/ref=sr_1_1?asc_campaign=InlineMobile&asc_refurl=https://deadspin.com/spend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904&asc_source=&tag=kinjadeadspinpromo-20
62. https://film.avclub.com/superhero-dimensions-collide-in-a-funny-gorgeously-psy-1830700647
63. https://www.googletagmanager.com/ns.html?id=GTM-T73GPNQ
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74. https://deadspin.com/spend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904
75. https://deadspin.com/charles-barkley-gayle-king-cnn-show-the-seo-show-1850379370
76. https://deadspin.com/aaron-rodgers-jets-trade-news-oversaturation-1850375353
77. https://www.amazon.com/Best-Choice-Products-Sectional-Conversation/dp/B0863D974H/ref=sr_1_1?asc_campaign=InlineMobile&asc_refurl=https://deadspin.com/spend-exactly-none-of-your-time-killing-time-1831777904&asc_source=&tag=kinjadeadspinpromo-20

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What Do You Want to Make Real in the World?
Mar 29
Written By [26]Anna Havron
Often the question that drives people’s initial interest in
productivity is: “How am I going to get everything done?”
For me, at least, that was true: I got to a point where my life was too
complicated for me to manage it without a productivity system. And so I
learned about systems for managing time and information and tasks and
goals and projects.
These systems have allowed me to get a lot more done, than I could have
without them.
But the danger is that we might too easily substitute getting things
done — checking off tasks, chores, projects — for living a life of
depth and resonance.
For example, I want to take a couple of hours [27]for an adventure to
visit a heron rookery nearby, so I can see dozens of Great Blue herons
nesting.
But nesting season for herons coincides with my busiest time of the
year.
If I tell myself that I need to get everything done before I take time
to see this, nesting season will be over. I will miss the experience of
seeing them. (And I still won’t get everything done; I can always think
of more that I would like to have done, than I can actually do.)
Stop Asking Yourself How You’ll Get Everything Done
Most productivity and organizational systems are geared toward the
world of work, paid or unpaid.
Few talk about managing your time so that you can pursue important
relationships and activities that feed your spirit, but not your bank
account. (Laura Vanderkam’s recent book, Tranquility by Tuesday, is one
exception to this.)
But what we call “leisure activities,” non-work or chore activities,
non-productive activities in the economic sense, are the very
activities you might look back on as the most important to cultivating
a well-lived life: a life where you’ve had rich relationships, where
you’ve taken time to create things that gave you pleasure to create,
where you’ve taken time to contribute your energy and efforts to make
this world a better place.
Sometimes the belief that you must finish everything on the list,
whether it’s paid work tasks or chores around the house, robs you of
leisure time: “But I can’t stop working until I get everything done!”
Part of the solution for this is using time management techniques such
as [28]paying yourself first.
But part of it is also reframing the question.
Ask Instead: What Do You Want to Make Real in the World?
What if, instead of asking yourself, “What do I need to get done,” you
ask yourself: “What do I want to make real, in this world?”
What do you want to make real?
What do you want to bring from your imagination, into real life?
What do you want to make real, that you can experience? Hiking the
Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine? Having clean socks on a
predictable basis (seriously, that is one of mine)? (Next level: having
clean socks on a regular basis, while you are hiking the Appalachian
Trail.)
What do you want to make real that other people can enjoy or use —
learning to play music, starting a non-profit program, creating a
useful app?
What do you want to make real, that makes this world a better place:
provide [29]housing for purple martins so they can keep migrating to
North America; provide housing for human beings, so all can live with
dignity?
We will all have different things that we deeply want to become real,
in this world. We will all have different experiences and
accomplishments that we hope to look back on, at the end of a
well-lived life.
I personally believe that if everyone took one thing they wanted to see
changed in this world, and worked toward making that one thing real;
that we would all be much better off.
Making Things Real in the World Can Take a Lot of Effort; or, Almost No
Effort at All
Lately my key productivity question to myself is: what do I want to
make real, in this world?
What do I want to make real, today?
This can be very small! The other day what I most wanted to make real,
was some clean socks. (Doing the laundry, a care task I dislike, is
much more satisfying for me when I cheer myself on, saying, “You go,
Anna, giving yourself clean socks, good for you!”)
I also want to write a book, which is a lot more work than throwing a
load of wash into a machine.
To make my book real in the world, I’m going to have to put in
consistent thought and effort over time. The same is true for making
things real like starting your own business, learning a trade,
socializing a dog to become a beloved part of the family.
But some things that are important to you, and that bring you a lot of
joy, you can make real without much trouble at all.
Making Things Real is About Responding to Opportunities
When I was a child, I lived in the Southwest of the U.S., and in
northern New England: places where cherry blossom trees don’t grow.
Every year during the spring I would see the Cherry Blossom Festival
pictures in Washington, DC, and I thought that those trees looked like
blooming clouds, banks of flowering clouds, on the banks of the
Potomac. I dreamed of seeing them in real life.
It wasn’t until my thirties that I got to experience the Cherry Blossom
Festival in Washington, DC, in real life rather than in my imagination.
That memory of walking under hundreds of flowering cherry trees, with
dark rain clouds overhead playing up the lightness of those short-lived
blossoms, remains one of the most vividly piercing things I have ever
experienced.
By that time, we lived in an area where cherry trees could grow.
However, our house already had such a large old maple shading the yard
that we couldn’t plant other trees.
One day, a storm came and toppled our maple tree.
I was saddened to see it go, but realized that now our small yard had
enough sun and space to plant a Yoshino cherry tree, just like the ones
in Washington, DC.
And so we did.
cherry blossom branches with a blue sky behind them cherry blossom
branches with a blue sky behind them
Here it is!
It took less than a day to plant it. That was fourteen years ago.
Now, it is full grown.
I can see blossoming branches from my bedroom window, nodding in the
breezes, with birds flying in and out of them, and wild solitary bees
burrowing into the blossoms. Yoshino cherry trees bloom even before
dandelions bloom.
Being able to see the cherry blossoms each spring, from a flowering
tree in our own yard, from my bedroom window no less, is — for me — one
of the best things I have ever made real in the world.
And it was hardly any work at all.
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References
Vanderkam, L. (2022) Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 ways to calm the chaos
and make time for what matters. New York: Portfolio.
Byington, C. (2016) Purple Martins: The Bird That Relies on Human-Built
Nests, Cool Green Science, 12 September. Available at:
https://blog.nature.org/2016/09/12/purple-martins-the-bird-that-relies-
on-human-built-nests/ (Accessed: 28 March 2023).
[32]Anna Havron
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[43]How to Pick the Perfect Men’s Wedding Ring
[44]Your No-Nonsense Guide to Choosing the Right Beard Style
[45]How to Grow a Beard: The One and True Guide
[46]Beard Oil FAQs: Answering All Your Pressing Beardly Questions
[47]Beard Grooming 101: The Lowdown on Products and Routine
[48]How to Tie a Tie
[49]Skill of the Week: Tie the Half-Windsor Necktie Knot
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[57]Why Are Dumbbells Called Dumbbells?
[58]Podcast #878: The Fitness Supplements That Actually Work
[59]Skill of the Week: Throw a Dynamite Straight Punch
[60]The Importance of Building Your Daily Sleep Pressure
[61]Podcast #888: The Science of a Better Daily Routine
[62]The Digestive Power of an After-Dinner Walk
[63]Podcast #873: The Myths of Trauma
[64]The Insanely Difficult Standards of History’s Hardest P.E. Program
[65]Which Fitness Program Is Right for You?
[66]A Review of the MovNat Workshop
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Brett & Kate McKay • October 29, 2022
Sunday Firesides: To-Dos, the Rent We Pay For Living
You probably brushed your teeth this morning. And will do so tonight.
And 730 more times in the year to come.
As soon as the last load of laundry is folded, it’s time to put in
another wash. As soon as you’re done eating and cleaning up one meal,
it’s time to start making the next.
There is a constantly replenishing supply of new texts and emails to
answer, bills to pay, stuff to buy, bookings to make, forms to fill
out.
Whenever you cross one to-do off the list, you add a couple more on.
Whatever you did the day before, you have to wake up and do it all over
again.
The relentless slog of life’s maintenance work can feel tiresome,
burdensome, annoying.
It can feel like you’re Sisyphus, pushing a boulder up a hill, only to
have it roll back down, ready to be pushed up once more.
Yet we should be glad to continually find this boulder resting at our
feet.
Drudgery and chores are the rent we pay for living.
While we inhabit mortal existence, this rent is due every day.
It’s not a fine, but a fee.
A ticket to continue to ride.
To-dos keep our world spinning, and signal that we continue to exist on
a spinning world.
We ought then to appreciate having one more task-filled day before
there comes a knock on the door from a sickle-carrying landlord,
bearing an eviction notice in hand.
Yes, we should be very glad indeed to have a full list of to-dos before
us. Because the only solution for clearing your slate of all unfinished
business, lies six feet underground.
Related Posts
* [109]Sunday Firesides: Stop Living Life "Paycheck to Paycheck"
* [110]Sunday Firesides: Yours Sincerely
* [111]Sunday Firesides: Love Endures
* [112]Sunday Firesides: Die Red
* [113]Sunday Firesides: Dependence to Independence
* [114]Sunday Firesides: Relationships Over Willpower
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[122]Podcast #891
Generations — The Surprising Truths and Persistent Myths
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[124]Podcast #890
Toastmasters, Aristotle, and the Essential Art of Rhetoric
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The Science of a Better Daily Routine
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