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[1]@puddingtime
[2]sign in · [3]lmno.lol
_____ _____ _ _____ ______ _ _ ______ ______ _____ _ _ _____ _____ _____ ___ ___ _____ _
|_ _||_ _|( )/ ___| | ___ \| | | || _ \| _ \|_ _|| \ | || __ \|_ _||_ _|| \/ || ___|| |
| | | | |/ \ `--. | |_/ /| | | || | | || | | | | | | \| || | \/ | | | | | . . || |__ | |
| | | | `--. \ | __/ | | | || | | || | | | | | | . ` || | __ | | | | | |\/| || __| | |
_| |_ | | /\__/ / | | | |_| || |/ / | |/ / _| |_ | |\ || |_\ \ | | _| |_ | | | || |___ |_|
\___/ \_/ \____/ \_| \___/ |___/ |___/ \___/ \_| \_/ \____/ \_/ \___/ \_| |_/\____/ (_) 🔥🤘🏻🔥
September 11, 2025
[4]Aspiration
[5]Gasworks park metal structures
Wow. First post in almost a month. I suppose it has been busy: Two long
weekends away from home in SLC and Seattle, and a generally busy work month.
Last weekend we went to see Thee Oh Sees in Seattle. That was 90 minutes of
intensity. Al said it was her favorite show of the year. I'd place it a close
second or a tie with Mutoid Man. We have tickets for one more show this year:
YOB at Revolution Hall.
I mentioned on Mastodon that I had just gone through and unsubscribed from a
bunch of apps and services. DayOne was one of them. I thought about it a little
at the time, but only to reassure myself that I had a few formats worth of
backups, because I've been using that app for over 20 years and while I haven't
been a diligent user, it has a lot of stuff in it.
Yesterday, as I got ready for a meeting, I fired up my SuperNote tablet and had
this brief idea of "oh, this'd be great for an interstitial log," then started
a log page with a few entries from the day so far, when I stopped and thought
"why am I doing this?"
The answer was, "because I read about interstitial logging a while back, have
tried it in a few contexts, and it has never really 'taken', so it remains this
thing that sounds cool but hasn't had a habit built around it."
So I stopped writing.
And this morning I noticed my DayOne backup sitting in the transit folder I put
it in, waiting to be put somewhere permanent, and I thought "oh man, how am I
going to journal?"
But the answer is, "I don't really journal that much." I write posts now and
then when moved, but journaling isn't something I do a lot of, and I haven't
made a habit of it.
I don't think I want to make a habit of it. The same way I don't think I want
to make a habit of interstitial logging.
(On review: I have a particular relationship with the word want. When asked "do
you want to ..." I try to reserve "yes" for things I have already considered
and have decided to form an intention around. And on the back end, if I find
myself saying, "I want to ..." but then never do it, I have sort of an
existential relationship to the word: You aren't what you say you are. You
haven't done what you said you want to do. You are what you do. And barring
blockers, obstacles, and other matters of physics and circumstance, if you
thought you wanted to do something, then never did it, but completely could
have, can you really be said to have wanted to do it? At the very best, "not
much." I don't think this is a popular point of view because people are
increasingly suspicious of the idea that anyone actually has any agency.)
So rather than wanting to do all sorts of things, I'm just sort of a sucker for
the occasional "someone on the Internet says they do this thing and I think
that sounds cool so I take a poke at it, don't really feel the value of it so
much as I briefly liked the idea of it, and then there's this zombie file or
application or folder full of something I'd hesitate to even call an
aspiration."
Someone I once knew said something withering about me regarding that whole
loop, and I let their framing dominate my thinking for a long time. Maybe in
the past four or five years, especially after I read Digital Minimalism, I
began to think about it less like evidence of a character defect and more as
evidence that I have moments of curiosity and interest, and am probably more
willing than many (broadly considered) to just try stuff out. It's just me. I
don't owe some outer authority any reporting on the matter. And that particular
drive has put a roof over my head, put food on my table, and is paying for my
kid to go to college. It has led me to some weird places, including Ft. Bragg
drop zones, but it has also opened doors. If I've got an issue with the whole
thing, it's more a question of how I want to spend my time, and if I'd rather
be doing other things.
So, the big unsusbscription/app deletion kick was good, because it did get a
lot of brush cleared away: I not only turned off all those things, but made it
hard to see them and either a. poke at them some more for no reason besides
idle curiosity or habit, or b. decide to resubscribe. Which means when I think
"Oh man, how am I going to ... " [some thing that never really took and that I
didn't seem to want to make into a habit] there's a better chance I'll have an
arresting thought, because there's nothing to go click and fuck around with.
That's a good state to be in, because with nothing to idly do, I tend to go
just a few places:
• I pick up a book
• I do something photography-related
• I pick a game I can zone out with, which really means that I occupy my
superficial awareness with a smidge of sensory exclusivity while I have a
long thought about whatever I need to think about right now
Those are all the things I want to do. Not the things I just briefly thought
sounded cool.
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References:
[1] https://lmno.lol/puddingtime
[2] https://lmno.lol/signin?goto=/puddingtime/aspiration
[3] https://lmno.lol/
[4] https://lmno.lol/puddingtime/aspiration
[5] https://pix.puddingtime.org/-1/i-TP3qH9Q/A
[6] https://lmno.lol/
[7] https://lmno.lol/blog/privacy-policy
[8] https://lmno.lol/blog/terms-of-service